i came here as a live in care giver. i take care of three children(one of which is severly disabled). I like my job but i struggle with home sickness at times. one day i am full steam ahead and others i am struggling to get through the day. It is tough living in someone's home in the basement.
I know things will improve with time but it feels like an up hill struggle.
I sold everything i owned in order to build a life out here.
i have a son of 13 who came out here to be near me. he struggles every day. so i feel i am struggling for 2.
I have always been such a possitve person with a great outlook on life. it just feels like forever until i can establish a home and really place my feet on the ground.
I just need to hear some good stories of happy endings.
I do have a boyfriend out here that i meet 2 years ago.
17 years of building a home in England and to start from scratch is tough

please send me your possitive vibs?
i could really do with some reinforcement right now.

i hope to be able to help others in the future.

many thanks

I am planning to move to Toronto soon. Why is life a struggle in canada? Do you think it would be any different in Britain? I don't want to sound critical however one of the reasons I want to leave Britain is exactly because life here seems to be quite poor.

We haven't landed in Canada yet but have emigrated twice before and can feel your pain. When we first went to Switzerland I moved over a month before hubby and only half our furniture was brought over to start with so my son and I were sitting on the floor with only a TV set for company so it was really tough. I always think that if I've got through something tough I can get through anything. The problem is that when you're leaving for pastures new you (not you personally) generally feel optimistic and full of enthusiasm but soon things can be become realistic and tough ie the dream has hit reality and reality stinks sometimes. One thing you could do is focus on something you want for the future, just like you did when you were planning your life abroad. You probably had thoughts of what you wanted and hoped for - work on making these happen by visualising them and saying to yourself "I CAN make this work". Give yourself something to work towards and give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far. Give yourself a treat when you're feeling down ie don't feel guilty looking after yourself as well as others. It helps to talk so I hope I've helped just a little. Meanwhile, if you feel plan A isn't working, start concentrating on a plan B - it will take your mind off things for a while and you don't have to put plan B into practise, until you know for sure that A isn't going to work out. Best of luck.

Other suggestions I have read is to keep a journal each day writing all your feelings - in months to come you may look back and think thank goodness I don't feel like that anymore, or you may look back and think gosh it really isn't worth it after all. Sometimes putting your thoughts into words can help you resolve some problems and it's also taking time out for yourself which is personal to you.

BB,

From what I can make out, the most important thing you should look at is that you are 'giving'. You are sacrificing some of the 'me first' attitude so prevalent in the UK to enrich the lives of other people.

Perhaps, in the middle of all this, it isn't so easy to see that, and maybe you don't get to sit back and think about that.

I hope that you get back some of what you give, and this happens in wierd and wonderful ways and at strange times.

You got to where you wanted to be in purely geographical terms, I just hope that you can persevere and that things turn around for you.

Sometimes, when we're lost in the dark, we don't realise that there's light all around us, but it is there.

Best of luck,

Rich.

thankyou for your support. I was deeply touched by your insight.

I am a giving and deeply caring person and i know good things come to those who wait.
I just get a bit low at times. Which really is not me at all. i have always been a fighter and i always see the possitive side to anything.
i guess one of the big issues i struggled with was the love of my children and i know that Canada has so much more to offer them for a better future.
I will get to where i truly belong in the future. I do have many goals and i know i will get there.

Thankyou for you encouragment it is truly appreciated.

I hope all goes well for you in the future.

many thanks

Thank you so very much for your wonderful words of encouragment. I truly appreiciate it. I understand what you are saying and i think the diary would be an excellent idea for me to start.
I guess i am a little impatient. I worked hard in England as my youngest child was born prematurly and had complex medical needs and disabilities. I sadly lost her 18 months ago at the age of 10. I also pushed myself through college in order to gain further qualifications for the future.I can't use these qualifications at the moment but i know there is something better out there for me. I know i will acheive things in the future and all the knowledge she gave me in her little time on earth will truly be worth while. It just felt as if something is always holding me back, when others seem to full on their feet.
I have always been a fighter and i will continue to do so.
one of the little boys i take care of is also terminal. I know i was sent her to help him. I just feel so down at times.

I love Canada and i always have done. My mother has lived here for 16 years and she has never looked back. we live in the same city but we have never been close emotionally.

Thank you again as i needed some fuel to keep the fire burning.

best of luck to you and may all your dreams also come true

BB,

From your lreplies I think there's another angle on this.

Imagine just what those 'fantastically successful, easy-lifers' are missing out on. The satisfaction of overcoming hardship. The feeling of strength when you overcome a problem. The true experience of the human struggle.

They miss out on all that, and sure they might have more success or wealth, but their lives are not neccessarily so rounded or better as an onlooker might think.

And I'm sure most people have looked at colleagues, friends, associates at some point in life and thought 'why them' - I work just as hard/am just as clever etc. There's nothing to be ashamed of there, unless it causes envy and/or negative feelings about others or yourself.

I used to have to work for somebody who thought that a red carpet should be rolled out in front of her when she walked. Man, she was so self-important and haughty it was untrue. But no-one in the company ever said a good word about her. She had no insight into people's thinking and had not an ounce of humanity in her entire body. Oh yes, she was rich, wealthy and had the flash lifestyle, but she was a cold, uncaring, distant, robot of a person.

I also bet she didn't sleep well at night.

I have her to thank because it was down to her attitude that I finally realised the industry I was in, and that organisation in particular, held no long term future for me. So, thanks to her, I was able to escape that particular rat race and move on with my life. Without that choice being made, I might never have considered moving to Canada.

All I can say, is that it's a strange old world we live in.

Good luck,

Rich.

You have already lifted my spirit to greater heights. I really am gratful for this support.
I know i should not dwell on those dear friends that i left behind in England as i know i am a friendly person with the ability to creat new ones.
this will come with time, i know this. I decided to reach out to this web site in order to feel i was not alone with my thoughts.
Before i arrived in Canada, it was my dream to move here and build a life. i did not hesitate at all once i had made the dicision. I sold everything i owned and came with a suitcase. I sent only a couple of boxes over of personel belongings.
I have never been materialistic and i never intend to get caught in that trap. I agree with all you said about others.

I see a brighter future! i just need to be patient until i can acheive greater things. I hope to work with special needs. I acheived and advanced GNVQ in health and social care and i also hold a counselling certificate. I have extensive knowledge in the feild of special needs and medical needs. This was all due to my beautiful daughter Nicole who fell asleep in the arms of god in December 2002.
She taught me more that any other human being could ever have shown. I do believe she continues to guide me and i know she is walking this path with me.

thank you once again for you support
i wish you all the happiness



{QUOTE]Originally posted by Rich_007
BB,

From your lreplies I think there's another angle on this.

Imagine just what those 'fantastically successful, easy-lifers' are missing out on. The satisfaction of overcoming hardship. The feeling of strength when you overcome a problem. The true experience of the human struggle.

They miss out on all that, and sure they might have more success or wealth, but their lives are not neccessarily so rounded or better as an onlooker might think.

And I'm sure most people have looked at colleagues, friends, associates at some point in life and thought 'why them' - I work just as hard/am just as clever etc. There's nothing to be ashamed of there, unless it causes envy and/or negative feelings about others or yourself.

I used to have to work for somebody who thought that a red carpet should be rolled out in front of her when she walked. Man, she was so self-important and haughty it was untrue. But no-one in the company ever said a good word about her. She had no insight into people's thinking and had not an ounce of humanity in her entire body. Oh yes, she was rich, wealthy and had the flash lifestyle, but she was a cold, uncaring, distant, robot of a person.

I also bet she didn't sleep well at night.

I have her to thank because it was down to her attitude that I finally realised the industry I was in, and that organisation in particular, held no long term future for me. So, thanks to her, I was able to escape that particular rat race and move on with my life. Without that choice being made, I might never have considered moving to Canada.

All I can say, is that it's a strange old world we live in.

Good luck,

Rich. [/QUOTE]

Hiya - you're doing so well considering the devastating events in your life - my son is just 12 and I could only imagine a part of what you must have gone through. You're absolutely right, your ability to give to others despite losing so much yourself is a real strength in itself and I'm sure many admire you for coming so far. During our years in the UK we fostered young offenders - one particular one was 15 and kicked out by his alcholic mum and his Dad had been in and out of jail most his life. The children in the family were mainly brought up in children's homes. Now I am pleased to say that he is married with 4 lovely children and I feel so proud that we helped to be his 'rock' at the most trying times of his life. My husband also worked with disabled people and used to take them on trips and be a dj and later became a youth leader. I always imagined myself being like Pippa on Home & Away with lots of foster kids around my feet and maybe one day I will when we finally get ourselves settled. Best of luck to you and don't forget to give yourself some love as well as to others - it sounds like you're doing great!