Oh Canada!
 

Just dropping in to say "Hello".

But! I'm a soon to be divorced British mom of 3 (4 - Canadian, 6 & 8 - British), we have been in Alberta, Canada for the last 6 years.

I'm hoping for some inspiration, advice, and possibly a shoulder to sob on occassionally lol.

I don't want to go back to the UK, but the winters and other irritants are doing nothing for my heart and soul here in Canada.

I have loved living here mostly and Canada has been wonderful in lots of ways; pretty awesome people, great schools and daycare, etc. but I have found it very difficult in the winter - I have eczema and the dry air here in AB is an absolute killer to my skin regardless how much moisturizer you slather on or how much water you drink.

I have family in Vancouver, but something tells me it doesn't feel right there either - not sure why? The weather?

Where does one go? Where in the world could I take my children and feel home?

I've lived in Various parts of Europe, Central America... But, I'm so torn. So lost!

Where in the world to go as a single mom?

Plus, no skills/education to speak of. Gave my career up to look after my kids while he went off to work.

Your help is appreciated, welcomed and anticipated.

My thoughts of going to Belize or Guatemala are torn. I've worked in Guatemala, but as a single. Very different when children are involved.

Do I just give up my life and let my children enjoy it here? I find it so hard with three kids in winter and the snow/mud, wet, boots on/boots off constantly, mitts and lost gloves/scarves/hats.... I'm either too hot or too cold here. Day and night in/day and night out.

We haven't started citizenship as yet, would that be worth sticking it out for another year or so?

Many thanks!

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I would so definitely wait for citizenship before doing anything. That way there are no regrets as you can come back whenever you want to.
Other than that you have the world at your feet!!! Hard with three kids but not impossible!!!
Considering the current temperatures, I would go somewhere warm!!!

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Personally, I'd aim for wherever has the maximum number of exclamation marks.

Perhaps France!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Oh Canada!
 

This post is clearly taking the mickey.

Disneyland perhaps!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Is the childrens' father going to give you permission to remove them from Canada? Or even Alberta? That's really your first hurdle.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Yes there's no problem moving out of Canada. Dad is not bothered where we are.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I'm not sure I could survive that long, but it would be crazy not to get Citizenship. I see that. But really, not sure I could survive another winter on my own here :(

I U sed to absolutely bloody love winter here. Outside all the time. But it's so hard on your own here. I'm absolutely terrified of winter driving.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

That may be the case but do you have it in writing? It would really suck if he suddenly changed his mind and you found yourself being hunted by Interpol for child abduction.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Or you might just be given the go-ahead by the RCMP after they stopped you five minutes earlier. :eek:

(in the news today)

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I don't have anything in writing - we're still living together. I know it won't be a problem, he's happy to sign papers for me to have the children and live anywhere.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Do you have a separation agreement? If not, you may want to think about one, if only for the custody aspects. People say one thing, and then when a major decision comes up, can very, very easily change their minds, and that's when things can get really nasty.

On the subject of citizenship, depending on how close you are to be able to apply, plus the waiting time, I'd suggest getting it, as others have said, handy to have it should you either remain in Canada, or wish to come back for any reason.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Thanks Sharkus...
No separation agreement as yet, but there will be one drawn up soon.

We can apply now for Citizenship... We have the papers almost completed. Yes, I know I should probably wait.

Are there any single moms that have gone through this?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

There was one thread 2 or 3 years ago with a few contributions. Can't recall her name, unfortunately. Maybe someone else can.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

The winters in AB are usually bloody awful (it might not always be minus"double-digits", but weeks and weeks of -2 to +2 get very wearying after 17 years), so looks very-much-like this will be our last year in this semi-arid dump. Still, we have the mountains (but BC has the vast majority of them!)

I love the way BEr's say "get your citizenship first!" Yes, it is handy to have, but it isn't like you can hop on a bus for a quick-look at the Old Country. Moving costs money, and moving abroad costs a lot-of-money! The sunnier-posters, however, make it sound as if all you have to do, is get out of bed and go back; if you don't like it there, just go back to bed and get up the next day to return to Canada. Having had ours made us feel more secure about being able to remain in Canada, but we did not have the cash to jump back and see what we were missing. And I think generally both countries are pretty much of a muchless; same crap, just more spread-out in Canada. Citizenship does gives you another option, but it is pretty much useless without the financial wherewithal to use that option.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

What can I say? I like exclamation marks! :o

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Surely the winter weather in Vancouver is the perfect antidote?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Ya Yoshi, the winters are the most trying part. Was still bloody snowing end of May last year :(
And it's not so much the cold it's the snow/wet/constant mess everywhere. And having to bundle up my kids for 7 months of the year :(
Summer is great except for the ENORMOUS mozzies - my little girl is covered in scars left over from the huge bites. And they bite regardless of bug spray.

Yes, citizenship would give my children the option later on in life, though I'm not fussed about going anywhere near the UK. That seems like a backward move - I couldn't afford to live/work there with three children comfortably I'm sure of that.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Perfect? Wet and miserable? Lol I'm thinking that kind of weather might send me over the edge lol

Plus, Vancouver is bloody expensive no? Single mom 3 kids?
And if trying to meet people there is anything like here that won't help either lol - making friends here has been a complete and utter struggle. I don't seem to have anything in common with hockey/soccer moms that can bake, make and sew at the drop of a hat :(

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Look up Kat Kam right now. That's the weather in Vancouver, real time. The cherry blossoms have started blooming. Spring has already started. A winter in Vancouver is nothing to be feared after you have spent time in the prairies. The rain is seasonal - falls the most in the winter months. Even in the winter, it's not terrible. Here is this week's weather:

Attachment 120919

Re: Oh Canada!
 

The lower mainland weather isn't nearly as bad as people like to make it out to be. Yes it rains, and sometimes for a week or more, but it also turns quite pleasant, and of course winters are quite mild, 14C today and partly cloudy where I am today.

Vancouver is indeed pricey, but there are places less pricey, whether they are in your price range only you can decide, but there are nice places on the Island for example with reasonable cost's of living, and the Island tends to have nicer weather then the mainland does at times.

I am not the biggest fan of BC in general, but the weather is one of the things even I can't complain much about.

Rain is easier to deal with then snow that's for sure and you have the ability to see snow as a novelty and not a nuisance.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Ya looks beautiful Lychee - thank you for that.

Still too damp and cold for me - the damp feels colder at -2 than a dry -2. We spent a Christmas there a few years back, sunny but damp and really cold lol. AB does get amazing sunshine, thankfully lol.

I just think too expensive for us too. Though at the moment I'm so lost it might be an option to stay close to family.
In Calgary we have no one, and it's pretty isolated in the town we're in. Very clicky too. I have tried - I am a tryer lol

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Thank you...
I should make another visit maybe but I'm sure the damp would p*ss me off eventually. Damp and dull does nothing for my soul :)
I have checked out VI and it appeals a little, but it really is the weather.
Having family close by would be a huge for sure. Maybe worth it while the children are growing up?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I don't tend to have a problem with the mozzies, but my wife blows up like a balloon when they bite. And I do find it very disappointing how messy and litter-strewn the streets of Calgary are (not just in the winter!), especially when others are chewing your ear off about how tidy Canada is! Our own daughter has made it clear that she will not be looking for Canadian jobs when she finishes Uni, so I guess that the citizenships we obtained will only be a lifeboat for us two old codgers, if our planned retirement in Malta (or, yes, even South West England: it's were moved from to come to Canada) doesn't work out.

But, hey! We have the Rockies! (Await the postings of the Sunny-Set)

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Weighing in quickly to add yet more encouragement to get it all in writing, ideally court ratified. One rarely/never thinks of worst-case scenarios, but if /when it happens, & it can even in the friendliest of separations, one will be thankful for a paper trail.

Hi, Earth2momma! Yep, been in your shoes: immigrated, then separated, with children (although mine were older than yours when the final break came). It's not easy, & I don't have any meaningful advice or wisdom to impart, sorry :(.

are your children happy/thriving where you live now?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Ooh, yes please. :lol:

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Seem's the RCMP dropped the ball on that one, and Australia seem's not to care the child was removed without permission, assuming the article is accurate.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I think that perhaps you yourself would benefit from some meaningful one to one time with an adult, perhaps a counselor that you can talk to..face to face rather than an online forum, as your relationship has hit rocky ground i can't imagine you and your ex are as close in anyway as before to have the sort of conversation you need. When my marriage fell apart, even though i was male, suddenly the thought of "packing up and starting afresh" felt like that was what i wanted!!!!!<<<note the exclamation marks :)

However, instead i listened to the sage advice of an older, wiser head and instead found new interests and someone to talk to, and to be candid i did most of the talking they just listened, I realised i didn't hate my location, I hated what it reminded me of, my old relationship and the "move on" bug was in fact "run away and hide"

I think part of what you need to think about as well is cost, if you up and relocate can you afford it, and can you and the kids easily re-establish a life and friends? I'd imagine all 3 kids have friends here? Sometimes you are better with the "devil you know" than jumping..I suppose what i'm trying to say is...take your time, weigh it all up and make sure it's what you REALLY want before you do anything.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Thanks Shirtback - awesome advice....
We are going to get everything in writing, he's made it quite clear work/keeping work is a priority.

Argh you too huh? Sorry to hear that. You all sorted/settled now?

Fairly happy (but how happy can you be in a house with mom and dad obviously not happy? They feel the tension for sure. Heartbreaking). But growing up on crap food, too much TV/iPad/indoors time. It's an isolated town, we have play dates at our house (though rarely get asked over to others' houses?).

I have 2 in school, but they actually don't have very close, close friends. My 6 yr old is constantly wanting to play with someone outside, but the kids here love to sit at home and eat/watch TV/play video games, they just don't come out to play!

I'm sure Canada is not the same all, but it sure feels that way sometimes.

Thanks Shirtback

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I'll take this to PM.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Seems the RCMP had no court order saying she couldn't take the baby either. And Australia didn't have anything from the Canadian courts saying she couldn't bring the baby - an Australian citizen by the way - to Australia. What did you want DIBP to do? Prevent an Australian citizen mother from bringing her Australian citizen baby into Australia?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

In short, yes.

She was abducting the child. Which is a criminal act.

The RCMP effed up and should be held accountable. Not to mention the CBA officer.

FL was it you?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

The RCMP had the legal authority to detain her in Canada and investigate and they chose not to, they screwed up and there is no real way around that.

From my understanding the dad did have a court order but the RCMP didn't do their job to delay her exit from Canada.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

It says in that story that the father did not have a court order. It says he was advised to get one and bring it back, but in the meantime there was no written legal reason why an Australian citizen wouldn't be allowed to leave with her Australian baby. Unless of course you're now saying that it's kosher to detain people with no court order saying they don't have the right to leave.

We should just be clear here that I don't condone her actions or those of the RCMP/West Van police. Just playing devil's advocate here.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Nor did she have a Court Order permitting her to leave with the child.

As both jurisdictions are signatories to the Hague Convention, there must have been more to this than has been reported as the Central Authority in Australia should have applied to an Australian Court for an Order returning the child to Canada to enable a Canadian Court to make a determination.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

who also appears to be a Canadian citizen with a Canadian parent.

The article quotes two different experts in this field. Both say the RCMP could have done more than they did.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Thanks Onthe... I appreciate your response. And I'm seeking someone to talk to, I'm sure that's going to help.
My location is very isolating - it's been very difficult to make any meaningful friendly relationships - people like to stick to themselves here it seems. That has really not helped - granted if I stay here North of Calgary the kids will have some stability (same school/same friends etc) however I'm worried that I'll go stark raving mad come winter time - and yes I do get out with the kids but it is so bloody hard mid winter. It can be *****ing (sorry) brutal some days.

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your advice. Take care

Re: Oh Canada!
 

I found the CBC article absolutely terrifying, being in a similar situation. To travel without the other parent regardless of your marital status you should technically have a letter of consent. It seems she didn't have that, hence they were detained in the first place, and he was in the process of getting the court order when the RCMP completely screwed up.

Back to my situation, I'm kind of stuck here because of the kids (our jurisdiction is Toronto) but I don't mind living here- and maybe I'm down on work for unrelated reasons. I won't be making any decisions until we're living apart and the cloud of day to day living is lifted.

Re: Oh Canada!
 

No it wasn't me. Having been told on here several times that I have no legal grounds to ask for consent letters etc etc when dealing with cases such as this I have now come to the conclusion that nobody cares about this so why should I care. But we all know better and I will continue to do my job and face the wrath of the pissed off parent and if that concerned they can sue me. Of course a foreign national entering Canada wouldn't have a leg to stand on but I am a bit more selective when dealing with Canadian citizens entering Canada.
This case was someone leaving Canada.
As to if the RCMP dropped the ball I don't have all the facts so I wont comment. I don't see how CBSA are at fault as we didn't receive a formal request from any Police Agency to intervene.
So my question to all is do you want us to be on the lookout for abducted children entering or leaving Canada or not?

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Yes please!

Re: Oh Canada!
 

Ah, but dboy is long gone. You can stop feeling tetchy about it now.