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Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Old Aug 25th 2021, 12:02 pm
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Default Is it normal to feel instant regret?

I have just flown from the UK to work in Langley BC in education, my family following in a week. I feel absolutely overwhelmed - Is it normal to feel like I've made a huge error? In context I've only ever left the UK twice to fly within Europe so not really use to travelling and I was not prepared for the huge huge culture shock I'm experiencing.Yes, I did my research but boy do I feel disorientated.

Basically, I want to know if this feeling of oh my word why have I done this is normal and I need to let it pass, or if it's not and I need to plan the next 12 - 24 months with a view to going back

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Old Aug 25th 2021, 12:34 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Hi Cornishincanada

Do not worry it is very normal. We moved here in 2009 and thought we had done our research but Canada in culturally close enough to the UK to make it familiar but in real life so so different. It took me about 2 years to get my head around it. I still have trouble with some aspects of Canadian life but all in all it is a good life here.

We bought our house before we moved and when we arrived it was November (-39 and 10-15 feet of snow). We had no furniture just a Walmart blow up mattress. We had the electric baseboard on full (cried when we got the bill) but it wasn't enough. We lay there under blankets and clothes listening to the house creak and groan, thinking we had bought a shed.

Canada was my wife's idea so I spent every day for the first year (really every day) saying I hate you. She got a job and I would phone her at work and even once at conference in Moncton NB, to tell her. I have recovered now thanks to huge doses of medication and alcohol (Just kidding).

It is a shock sometimes moving to different areas even within the UK. It is natural that there is a bit of culture shock when you first get here. It does get better but it can take time. If you ask was it worth it now we have been here twelve years, without a doubt.

Stay strong and enjoy it.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 12:59 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by cornishincanada View Post
I have just flown from the UK to work in Langley BC in education, my family following in a week. I feel absolutely overwhelmed - Is it normal to feel like I've made a huge error? In context I've only ever left the UK twice to fly within Europe so not really use to travelling and I was not prepared for the huge huge culture shock I'm experiencing.Yes, I did my research but boy do I feel disorientated.

Basically, I want to know if this feeling of oh my word why have I done this is normal and I need to let it pass, or if it's not and I need to plan the next 12 - 24 months with a view to going back

​​​​​​
I think it's normal. If we'd had the plane fare back we would have left in the first week. Over the years one develops ambivalence, it's not home here but it's livable.

Last edited by dbd33; Aug 25th 2021 at 1:02 pm.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 1:58 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

I grew up in Lancashire and was posted to London UK on Rochester Row. Imagine walking into a chip shop and not being able to order steak pudding and chips. No 5 minute walk with a dog then being able to enjoy the open fields. Language took a bit to get used to. No decent clog repairers and finding somewhere to buy a flat cap proved challenging. Some pubs frowned upon you taking your ferret in with you.

So yes I guess Canada will take time to get used to.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 2:27 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by cornishincanada View Post
I have just flown from the UK to work in Langley BC in education, my family following in a week. I feel absolutely overwhelmed - Is it normal to feel like I've made a huge error? In context I've only ever left the UK twice to fly within Europe so not really use to travelling and I was not prepared for the huge huge culture shock I'm experiencing.Yes, I did my research but boy do I feel disorientated.

Basically, I want to know if this feeling of oh my word why have I done this is normal and I need to let it pass, or if it's not and I need to plan the next 12 - 24 months with a view to going back

​​​​​​
Hello and welcome to BE!

It's very common and completely normal - we even have a wiki article about it, which may help to put your mind at ease a little - https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Culture_Shock-Canada

(other stuff you might find of use: https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Categ...ada_Challenges )
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 2:41 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Change, it takes time to get used to. When we arrived we were told 3 years and it was pretty much that to the day. Stuck it out and nearly thirty years later, the Fraser Valley is still home, unlikely to end up anywhere else.

Meet people, volunteer, join groups, explore. Find hobbies or take up a hobby, lots to do here, inside and outdoors.

Avoid comparing things here to 'back home', especially vocalising it, nothing surer to piss of the locals and make you feel more unsettled. Most kids will assimilate very quickly if they are allowed to just get on with it.

Wait until you buy a car and go to get insurance, that'll take your mind of everything else. Buying cars right now, I would buy new, used are up around 30% on last year and over priced. Will likley drop like a rock when new inventories go up come in next year at dealerships.

The best drive to the valley is down 200 ST over the Golden Ears Bridge, Dewdney Trunk Road toward Mission and take Highway 7 to Harrison Hot Springs (avoid the village, busy and pay parking), go on to Green Point (Sasquatch Park). From Harrison one could carry on along Hwy 7 to Hope and pick up Hwy 3 to the Hope Slide. Stop at the Home Restaurant in Hope for a hearty supper and pie on the way back.

Last edited by Farmer on a bike; Aug 25th 2021 at 2:53 pm.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

You're in Langley, and feeling disoriented you say; presume by moving to BC and by your name (Cornish?) that you love the outdoors and nice scenery? Do you have a vehicle? Take a short drive north/east (about 50mins) to nearby Alouette Lake and breath in your surroundings (it is simply stunning) , or Stave Falls, or take an hour drive East along the highway to Agassiz. Learn your local area and see how many beautiful and amazing places there are around you, thats the best thing I did upon arrival to make it feel like home. You'll find things you could only dream of in England and soon wonder why you didnt leave sooner. I dont live down there but frequent Maple Ridge so feel free to reach out for other tips
Oh and when your family arrive go for a meal at The Boathouse on the water in Port Moody
If you like Indian food then you simply MUST go to GM Restaurant on the Lougheed Highway in Maple Ridge just a short drive across the river (the Golden Ears bridge) from Langley.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 3:37 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Phaedru5 View Post
If you like Indian food then you simply MUST go to GM Restaurant on the Lougheed Highway in Maple Ridge just a short drive across the river (the Golden Ears bridge) from Langley.
This is something about Canada I don't feel is touched on enough. Some restaurants can look as ugly as their surroundings and be completely different inside.

This place looks like a greasy spoon from the outside but from the inside photos and words used in some reviews, you'd not think it was the same place.

In my town there was a restaurant we discovered a week before it closed - the chef/owner moving away - that was in a mini strip mall and is now a gym.

Once inside it was subdued lighting, round tables (which I always like even if you're only two and seated at 5.00 and 7.00), in cosy little corners and alcoves. Lovely place.
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Grimnorth View Post
Hi Cornishincanada

Do not worry it is very normal. We moved here in 2009 and thought we had done our research but Canada in culturally close enough to the UK to make it familiar but in real life so so different. It took me about 2 years to get my head around it. I still have trouble with some aspects of Canadian life but all in all it is a good life here.

We bought our house before we moved and when we arrived it was November (-39 and 10-15 feet of snow). We had no furniture just a Walmart blow up mattress. We had the electric baseboard on full (cried when we got the bill) but it wasn't enough. We lay there under blankets and clothes listening to the house creak and groan, thinking we had bought a shed.

Canada was my wife's idea so I spent every day for the first year (really every day) saying I hate you. She got a job and I would phone her at work and even once at conference in Moncton NB, to tell her. I have recovered now thanks to huge doses of medication and alcohol (Just kidding).

It is a shock sometimes moving to different areas even within the UK. It is natural that there is a bit of culture shock when you first get here. It does get better but it can take time. If you ask was it worth it now we have been here twelve years, without a doubt.

Stay strong and enjoy it.
Thankyou that helps alot hearing your story
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 4:48 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
I think it's normal. If we'd had the plane fare back we would have left in the first week. Over the years one develops ambivalence, it's not home here but it's livable.
Thanks, my wife told me no, I couldn't use her West Jet credits to come back....I was only half joking when I asked.....
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 4:50 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian View Post
I grew up in Lancashire and was posted to London UK on Rochester Row. Imagine walking into a chip shop and not being able to order steak pudding and chips. No 5 minute walk with a dog then being able to enjoy the open fields. Language took a bit to get used to. No decent clog repairers and finding somewhere to buy a flat cap proved challenging. Some pubs frowned upon you taking your ferret in with you.

So yes I guess Canada will take time to get used to.
Lol! I grew up visiting family near Wigan. London is quite a shock for most people who aren't city orientated I think
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 4:54 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Farmer on a bike View Post
Change, it takes time to get used to. When we arrived we were told 3 years and it was pretty much that to the day. Stuck it out and nearly thirty years later, the Fraser Valley is still home, unlikely to end up anywhere else.

Meet people, volunteer, join groups, explore. Find hobbies or take up a hobby, lots to do here, inside and outdoors.

Avoid comparing things here to 'back home', especially vocalising it, nothing surer to piss of the locals and make you feel more unsettled. Most kids will assimilate very quickly if they are allowed to just get on with it.

Wait until you buy a car and go to get insurance, that'll take your mind of everything else. Buying cars right now, I would buy new, used are up around 30% on last year and over priced. Will likley drop like a rock when new inventories go up come in next year at dealerships.

The best drive to the valley is down 200 ST over the Golden Ears Bridge, Dewdney Trunk Road toward Mission and take Highway 7 to Harrison Hot Springs (avoid the village, busy and pay parking), go on to Green Point (Sasquatch Park). From Harrison one could carry on along Hwy 7 to Hope and pick up Hwy 3 to the Hope Slide. Stop at the Home Restaurant in Hope for a hearty supper and pie on the way back.
Cheers, I think yeah, I'm stuck with no car so can't really get out yet. I've been offered an old nissan verso with 80k for 1600 plus tax which I'll get soon. I'm at the stage of life where in the UK I drove a 2007 focus with 70k on the clock so buying new scares me financially, but you make a very good point re second hand. Is buying new less of a mugs game here than in the UK?
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 4:59 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Phaedru5 View Post
You're in Langley, and feeling disoriented you say; presume by moving to BC and by your name (Cornish?) that you love the outdoors and nice scenery? Do you have a vehicle? Take a short drive north/east (about 50mins) to nearby Alouette Lake and breath in your surroundings (it is simply stunning) , or Stave Falls, or take an hour drive East along the highway to Agassiz. Learn your local area and see how many beautiful and amazing places there are around you, thats the best thing I did upon arrival to make it feel like home. You'll find things you could only dream of in England and soon wonder why you didnt leave sooner. I dont live down there but frequent Maple Ridge so feel free to reach out for other tips
Oh and when your family arrive go for a meal at The Boathouse on the water in Port Moody
If you like Indian food then you simply MUST go to GM Restaurant on the Lougheed Highway in Maple Ridge just a short drive across the river (the Golden Ears bridge) from Langley.
Thankyou yes, grew up in a village near Liskeard, then went Nottingham, then Scunthorpe. I got fed up of the pollution in Scunny and building on green belts etc. Yes, I'm a keen cyclist (both road and MTB xc to endur0). In the UK my ideal lifestyle was rural living, allotment, small holding but that's just unachievable with housing costs. I'm car less at mo, as already mentioned here I'm in the UK car mindset - new is silly, but starting to wonder now?
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 5:22 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by Grimnorth View Post
We bought our house before we moved and when we arrived it was November (-39 and 10-15 feet of snow).
10-15 'feet' of snow on the ground in November. Where do you live...at the top of a glacier on the highest peak in BC?
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Old Aug 25th 2021, 5:28 pm
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Default Re: Is it normal to feel instant regret?

Originally Posted by cornishincanada View Post
Cheers, I think yeah, I'm stuck with no car so can't really get out yet. I've been offered an old nissan verso with 80k for 1600 plus tax which I'll get soon. I'm at the stage of life where in the UK I drove a 2007 focus with 70k on the clock so buying new scares me financially, but you make a very good point re second hand. Is buying new less of a mugs game here than in the UK?
You might find our wiki of use - https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Car_Buying-Canada - there was also a thread about it recently

Hopefully you are prepared and have a copy of your drivers extract so you can exchange your license..
https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Drive...itish_Columbia

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