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Hi..

Okay I'm having one of those " I wanna go home days"

Feel low, sad, and very lonely :-(

I have no friends here which is very depressing, can't even go out for girls night out as I have no one to go with..

Really hating it at the moment.. yep again the same questions going around in my head "was the move a mistake"????????

Can't seem to get the answer to this..

Need some serious cheering up....

Sorry another gloomy email from me..

Jinn

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Join a club, do some sports etc., meet people, that's all I can suggest. Only you can answer whether it is a mistake - not this forum.

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I have membership to a gym but with work commitments don't really get time to go.

Just wondering if anyone else feels the same? anyone regretting moving from the Uk?

Just a question..

anyone leaving in the Mississauga area??????????

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You sound just like me. I have been here 3 months and the way I am feeling I think it was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

I know everyone says get out join clubs ect, but I am feeling so depressed I cant get my self out there.

I hate the house, going food shopping, the people are so rude in the supermarket's, supermarkets huh what a joke, the choice is so limited, drives me mad.

My rant over.

Sorry, havent cheered you up have I

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Maybe you two should get together...get it all off your chests...:)

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Maybe it's just me, and I'm sorry if I come across as rude here, but it really gets on my tits when people come on here moaning about how they dont like it.... but then dont do a damn thing about it.

Oh really? Which people? The staff, the customers? Everyone? C'mon, do me a favour.

Stop dwelling in self pity and get out and do something. Sounds like you've moved all the way over here and then shut yourselves away in your respective houses.

If you dont like it here, move back to the UK.
If you wanna stay, get off your arses and make an effort.
I'm sure there are plenty of singles groups/mums groups (or whatever) for you to join.

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jericho;7884756]Maybe it's just me, and I'm sorry if I come across as rude here, but it really gets on my tits when people come on here moaning about how they dont like it.... but then dont do a damn thing about it.


Oh really? Which people? The staff, the customers? Everyone? C'mon, do me a favour.

It was other shopper that blocked the way with their trolley, I said excuse me please, he looked at me and ignored me. In my book thats rude.
Stop dwelling in self pity and get out and do something. Sounds like you've moved all the way over here and then shut yourselves away in your respective houses.

No I havent shut my self in my house, I go out, I have some friends, and chat to the neighbours
If you dont like it here, move back to the UK.
If you wanna stay, get off your arses and make an effort.
I'm sure there are plenty of singles groups/mums groups (or whatever) for you to join.

What can I say about this paragraph!! motivational? supportive?, or rude just like the shopper in Fortinos today?.

I am a 56 yr old grandmother, who has left all of her family in the UK, and sometimes just sometimes it hurts like crazy.

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I know how the OP feel. I have been here 9 weeks and we have had quite a few upsets.
I have not made friends except 3 lovely people thru BE.
BUT........... I know it will happen. I have looked at clubs and meets etc. but I think its quite daunting.
If you can then do make the effort even if it doesnt really interest you. Thats what I'm gonna do. I dont know anything about amateur dramatics but as soon as one here starts up again, I am going to join.
What have I got to lose??

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I didnt come on and say I didnt like it I said I think I had made a mistake coming here.

Fact: the supermarket are inferior to those at home.

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And? :confused:

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And what exactly?. If you cant contribute in a sensible way, then dont contribute at all.

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No, my point being is that supermarket quality (or lack thereof) is a tiny consideration, in the whole scheme of things, when considering emigration.

If all you look for are the faults, and fail to see any of the positives, then you're bound to be unhappy here.

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You are so missing the point of this thread. The OP said she was feeling, low,sad and lonley. She also said that she was hating it here at the moment.

I agreed and said I felt the same way.

We are not complaining, just saying how we feel at the moment,I and I am sure the OP is doing as much as I can, to fit in here and adjust, but sometimes, when you have some ass in the supermarket give you attitude, or you cant find your favorite shampoo, it get's you big time. Silly I know but thats the way it is when you are feeling a bit down.

We are not looking for faults or failing to see the positive, what we are expressing is a state of mind, probaley called home sickness,something I assume every one gets from time to time.

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To be honest if Dante Alighieri had seen Missisauga he would have written about the 8 circles of hell.

It's boring, drab, dull and lifeless. Unless you have a vibrant family life going on inside one of those tract houses, what is there to do?

If you are immigrating to Canada DON"T GO TO MISSISAUGA - It's like Slough without the culture!

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One of Judy's excellent wiki articles that Miss Clinque and jinn should read.

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Culture_Shock-Canada

Whatever you decide to do in the end, what you are feeling now is perfectly normal. For the vast majority of people it goes away after a while, if not completely then at least to a tolerable level.

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"I am a 56 yr old grandmother, who has left all of her family in the UK, and sometimes just sometimes it hurts like crazy"

I'm a 60 yr old grandmother and sympathise with you and understand it hurting. At the same time I wonder how I will feel when I come over to Canada. I am married to a Canadian and that is the only reason I will be coming over. I will be leaving all my family in the UK, and although I don't see my children and grandchildren on a regular basis as they don't live near me, I'm sure I will find it strange being that far away from them. I have lived in Canada for a year some time ago, but I knew that was on a temporary basis so perhaps it was easier then. I console myself that skype, email etc will help, but it remains to be seen if it does. Why did you go to Canada and how are you settling?

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Hi guys (Jinn and Miss Clinque)
I'm just curious, what are your circumstances re: migration? Have you both visited Canada before emigrating, or was it your first taste of Canada when you 'landed' with all the paperwork?
I know lots of people say it, but it is true that it takes time to adjust. Rude people in supermarkets - you'll get that tenfold in the UK! Inferior supermarkets, well it is a question of shopping and eating slightly differently I think. We struggled at first with the food shopping thing, and it took much much longer, but we realised we were trying to eat like Brits in a foreign land! We've changed the way we shop, and actually think the fruit and veg selection here is tastier and better than back in the UK. There are some products we hanker for occasionally, but other Canadian products that we'd probably miss if we were to return to the UK! It's swings and roundabouts.
It's really easy to romanticise the land you've left behind when you feel down, but try to focus on the reasons why you wanted to come here. Also, other posters have a point when they say that there are lots of different parts of Canada, and another place might suit you better.
I hope it gets better for you both soon. :thumbsup:

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I'm reasonably near Mississauga and have just, today, been through one of the most spectacular and lurid break ups of all time. Anyone, preferably female, looking for something to do can do me.

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Oh bless............you ok?

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I think so. Though purple80 may be pissed. She'll not be getting devilled eggs for her party tomorrow unless I attempt them and that's a scary thought.

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btw, today the wife of a nearby farmer came and bought our eggs (we'd given him some last week). Since she has chickens this was a thrilling endorsement.

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Who could resist?:p

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Are you delivering them, special order like??:lol:

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You're not near, though over a Trimuph would be memorable.

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Miracles, I cant do. Formatting the box of eggs on the counter I might attempt.

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Especially at speed!:ohmy:

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:(

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All that said I think the supermarkets in the UK mostly suck. If anyone here had ever been in Asda Clydebank then you would know real supermarket pain :p It is hell!! Other customers are so rude and obnoxious, the staff members aren't much better. Everyone pushing and shoving, shouting and swearing. I am so happy not to be there anymore!!

I have never really been homesick for the UK so I don't have much advice, I do know that somedays will be hard and you will wonder if this is the right thing to do but you have to try and remember the reasons you came to Canada in the first place and improve the situation. If in the end you are not adjusting and not happy then maybe it isn't right for you.

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Give it some time, you'll start meeting people and getting over the culture shock fairly soon with a bit of luck!
I don't think there is a reason to be so rude.

'Ave yer peoples gone? Are you free for coffee again? Did you get your Community Services guide through the mail? That's got Am Dram stuff in it!

:eek::eek:Hope it's not a scary as it sounds - if it is then I hope everything works out ok.:fingerscrossed:

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'Ave yer peoples gone? Are you free for coffee again? Did you get your Community Services guide through the mail? That's got Am Dram stuff in it!


Yeah they've gone today. Not had time to read guide yet. Ive emailed you

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I think Miss Clinque's comments are quite crucial. When you are having those down, crap, lonely, no-one-loves-me moments, then it is actually very hard to "pull your socks up" and just go out and do something and meet people.

How do you successfully project the happy-smiley person that you know you usually are when you feel like poo?!

Take heart that many BE'ers have been there before you - and believe them when they say it does take a little more time. It won't cheer you up necessarily when I say that it's only after about two years here that I have what I can call some proper friends.

And whilst some of our members can be blunt and even brutal, in the nicest possible way, I will now say 'get out there and do something' :p

It is true that no-one will come knocking at your door. Have a look through your local papers - there are tons of clubs and societies starting up again after the summer break - something, somewhere will pique your interest. And even then, you know you have to be a bit brave to walk through the door and just get on with it. But it will work out for you eventually - honest! I joined a choir last year, and did a couple of gardening courses, and whilst that has not produced any 'friends' yet, it gives me a few more local faces I can acknowledge in my area which in some way produces a feeling of belonging. I worked at a coffee shop on crap money for eight months and again, this got me out and about among locals and gave me lots of acquaintances in my area. Small talk rules! I have strived to make real efforts over this summer to socialise with local mums and other families. I've been slow on the uptake to be honest but the effort you put in does somehow introduce you to a few people you will just click with. Not loads, but a few is all you need.

Think back honestly - how many new people did you bring into your life in the UK in the last 10 years? Probably not many really - probably just stuck with the old faithful's who have known you through good and bad, for years. As we get older, I think it is harder to make new friends - really good friends, and maybe only one or two will come forth in the next few years.

I wish you both lots of good wishes (and anyone feeling a bit blue about their move), happy thoughts and positive vibes for the coming months, and I truly hope a special someone will enter your life soon :thumbup:

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Thanks for this I will read it.

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I too lived away from my family. I lived in Kent, my eldest daughter & grandson live in Worcestershire, my youngest with my granddaughters lives in Wiltshire. I told my self what would it matter if I move to canada, it could take me 5 hours sometimes to get to Worcestershire on the M25 if the traffic was bad, whats 5 hours I thought, you can be in Toronto in7.5. I am only on the other end of a phone I thought, just like I was in Kent, but Im not I cant drive to work and chat on my mobile I like I used to at home. I cant watch the same programme and text them how bad it is or how good. The truth is its not the same.

I cant just "see how it goes" and go home if its not for me. My husband is a Vice President of a company here and we have invested a lot of money in to it.

Somebody said on an earlier post that the holiday period is over, I have given this a lot of thought and it very true, now come's a time of adjustment, of accepting this as a permenant thing for at least the next 10 years.

So when I walk round the supermarket or pass a park and see nans playing with their grandchildren I will just after to think of my next trip home and make the most of them while I am there.

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I used to find you truly offensive, but now I just find you amusing!

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I have read this. It is excellent. Now I know that what I am going through is "normal".

I have identifyed some people on here from the psuedo adaption section ;)

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Here is another couple ...

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Fitting_into_Canada

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/When_t...rong_in_Canada


And for some other posters ...

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Help_o..._rough_patches

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It's very hard to make a new circle of friends. And that doesn't matter whether you move 20 miles away, 200 or 2 thousand! I agree entirely with Ann's post about how many new friends one normally makes as an adult, and also how difficult it can be to just get out there and be jolly and bright when you are feeling crap and low in self-esteem.

Joining a gym really isn't a good way of meeting people as you don't particularly get a chance to make friends. I for one cannot actually put two words together for trying to breathe when I am working out.:o

I, like Ann, joined a singing group, but the best friend I have made, even there, was somebody who I cajoled into car-sharing to rehearsals, so we get a good half hour each way chance to put the world to rights every week! Our "other-half"s also seem to get on well, and we occasionally do social stuff with them. We also both play for the same field hockey side, so its usually drinkies after a match. Outside of that we don't socialise much. With work time and family it's always seemed tough to get much outside social life.

Truthfully I am happiest when we go out and walk in the mountains, either just hubby and me, or with our boys. We never did parties and regular night out with the gals/guys back in the UK, and we don't do them here.

What am I saying? dunno, I lost the thread somewhere ... I think it was mainly that it's not just Canada that's making you unhappy, it's the whole big picture with missing everything familiar. All the little things, like supermarkets, become so much more significant when you are feeling down. I was the same when we'd been here about 9 months I guess. There are times when nothing goes right and it's all bloody Canada's fault. Before we left UK a guy told me that most immigrants who return will do so because of Marmite, or something equally trivial. (I know where I can buy Marmite, and don't go telling me it's not trivial btw!:p:rofl:)

Give it time, and this too will pass. For us it has been the best move ever. For you? .... only time will tell, but be prepared to ride out the rough bits. :wub:

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i agree with Ann regarding the friends thing. Having been here for 7 years it was very quick for people to soon stop sending emails and christmas cards from the UK. You have friends from work, or a club but as soon as you leave you are soon replaced!! These were mainly acquantances who you just passed part of your life with.

Of course we all have friends who we have know for years and there is a history attached to the friendship. You can not come to canada or anywhere and get that sort of friendship in 6 months or even a year.

Like the above post I am not a big girls out sort of girl, and only now would say i have two/three close friends in Canada, and they don't really know each other, so one is for when we have a BBQ and a few drinks at home and the others are lunch and confidential chat sort of friend.

But if you asked how many people i know and how many i am friendly with and constantly meet then it is a lot. But i know when i move away, I will not keep in touch with many of them.

As for the op being home sick, it is such a brutal thing. It can be like an illness as it can overwhelm you and make minor issues big (like someone being rude in the supermarket). There is no automatic cure and it just takes time and effort and determination to just get out and meet as many people as possible and hope somewhere along the line you meet some people that you really like being with.

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Judy's wiki articles are solid gold:thumbup: I miss her:(

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hi, guys!

just my ha'penny's worth in response..
as many of you will know, we landed in ontario and decided to stay in mississauga for the interim, while we settled down.

all i can say is that mississauga isnt that bad, come on guys! you need to forget about the uk and live for the life you have there, otherwise come back ( and dont be surprised if within 2 weeks you feel like going back...thats what we felt like when we came back!)

ok, so houses are built like almost back-to-backs in the North of England, with hardly a smidgeon for a garden, but the prices? Phew...we were shocked to see them selling for more than $400k !!

but otherwise, its just a city like any other.
we were near that copy of a UK pub -- called Devils Harp i think, past rivergrove avenue.

far as i can remember, we were quite happy shopping wise, as we had loblaws, canadian tire etc just a stone's throw away and of course there was square 1 a short drive away.

on the contrary, we found the supermarkets chock a block with so much variety and used to spend loads on stuff we didnt really need -- especially when we first got there, we fell into that classic trap of thinking everythings half price cos of the exchange rate!

as for rude people, i found them samey-samey really -- no rudeness in our time there, and believe you me being black in the uk you kinda get used to comments all the time!

if you just stay indoors all the time and dont make an attempt to get friendly with the locals, then youre asking for trouble! and talking to the neighbour once in a while wont do much for you!

in my short time there, we joined libraries, local neighbourhood society, had all the local neighbours for a house-warming etc etc.

pity things didnt work out for us, but that was not really mississauga, more a family problem ;)