British Expats

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-   -   Life in Alberta? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/life-alberta-898161/)

dbd33 Jun 20th 2017 1:52 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by ABD79 (Post 12276973)
Well, your reply was extremely helpful...but I have to say while I was feeling really grateful, towards the end I did feel I needed to comment on a couple of things which I wouldn't usually, as I prefer just to keep things to the question at hand but with regards to my writing, perhaps I'd worry more if I was writing an essay which was to be graded, but in a forum, I wouldn't really think about having to do paragraphs or commenting on people who haven't. Sorry.
And I'm not obsessing. I've said it before. I have three children to think about. I'm happy to have constructive comments that are in relation to the question, but I don't think saying I am obsessing or paranoid (as someone else said), is a fair and constructive comment. My children are my world. I'm not here to please other people and to not ask the questions I need to in case I come across as looking a particular way or in case people get fed up with my questions. Anyone can feel free not to reply:) But I feel it's my duty with something like this to really explore everything I need to know about a potential life changing move. The last thing I would want is to move and I, or anyone in my family, not be happy. I have found more information out here from my "obsessive" questions than I could have ever found by just looking at pictures and statistics. It's vital that I cover every corner and ensure that we are 100% happy with whatever decision we make. I don't mean any of this in a mean way. I am actually quite a laid back person and not obsessive about anything. Obviously my demeanour is coming across differently in here but I can only say it so many times...I have three young children. I want to make sure that we are 100% sure about a move and I'm genuinely interested in any information I can find out so there will be lots of questions, and some might even be similar just worded differently! But it is important for me to do so in order to have peace of mind in whatever decision we make. I hope you understand. Thank you for all the information on Canada and Australia, it really was appreciated.

Well, now I feel properly derelict. I allowed one of my children to move to Alaska, even helped with her visa. Alaska, a beary place in the land of guns!

JamesM Jun 20th 2017 2:07 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 12276623)
Your bigger concern should be like others have said; paedophiles, drugs, day to day low level B&E type crime, teenage pregnancy, etc.

Boredom and depression are the biggest concern. Especially in winter.

JonboyE Jun 20th 2017 2:17 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by ABD79 (Post 12276973)
... but with regards to my writing, perhaps I'd worry more if I was writing an essay which was to be graded, but in a forum, I wouldn't really think about having to do paragraphs or commenting on people who haven't. Sorry.

It is just a matter of courtesy to the people you are asking to help you. Walls of text are very difficult to read and require considerable effort. Many people will give up before they are half way through. Readers stop, breath and reflect between paragraphs. You will get more, and more useful, replies if you can beak it up a bit.

Photoplex Jun 20th 2017 2:23 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by JonboyE (Post 12277016)
It is just a matter of courtesy to the people you are asking to help you. Walls of text are very difficult to read and require considerable effort. Many people will give up before they are half way through. Readers stop, breath and reflect between paragraphs. You will get more, and more useful, replies if you can beak it up a bit.

A thousands times this. Unsubscribing from this ridiculous thread :goodpost:

Dorothy Jun 20th 2017 9:13 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by Shard (Post 12276829)
Dorothy, somehow I didn't realise that you moved to Australia from Canada? You have probably explained it a million times on these boards, but how do you like it? And how do you find in terms of the kids, are they growing up in a similar way, but just in a warmer climate? I tend to think of Australia as a "warm Canada" but I know that may well be a huge over-simplification.

I have always been kind of ambivalent about the move. In some respects it's been good but in others not so much. Younall think Canada is big on red tape and pieces of paper, you should try working here! I am a trained and qualified ophthalmic technician in Canada but in Australia I have to be a nurse to do my job. So I work as a secretary. A very well paid secretary, but still not my professional qualifications.

My husband of 20+years and I divorced 3 years ago and we now both have new partners. He seems to be very happy and I am as well. I am in the process of sponsorship for my man so we can come to my home for at least a few years so I can be closer to my family. My mom is over 90 now and I miss her. Ww did seriously look at moving to England, where my partner is from, but we found the process of applying for a spouse visa very difficult and although I could get a visa based on ancestry it's only temporary. So.... Canada it is!

My daughter is doing well here. She was 12 when we moved from Burlington where she was in a gifted and talented programme. She went to the mainstream school here and found lifelong friends. She became a very talented padtry chef anf at age 21 was head chef at the patisserie where she worked. She's now decided at 22 to change her life and is in uni studying a dual business and accounting degree.

My son was 10 when we moved and was not as fortunate in his life. He discovered drugs and alcohol and got into quite a lot of trouble as a young teen. He spent time in jail as well as rehab. Last year,.when he was 19 he had a bit of good fortune and completed rehab, got his first apartment and was accepted to TAFE (community college) and into.an apprenticeship. Sadly just a few weeks after his 20th birthday, in early August 2016, his addictions and the stressors became too much for him to cope with and he took his life. Hence the signature below. It's a quote I found that I love.

I don't know if things would have been the same if we had stayed in Canada or not. I really would like to have had a crystal ball 12 years ago. Australia is very much like Canada in a lot of ways. We're both young countries as far as history goes, governments are similar, etc. One thing I do really appreciate is that while the TV is crap at least it's not as crap as North American TV.

Sorry for the awful spelling mistakes. I'm on my phone.

Dorothy Jun 20th 2017 9:18 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by JamesM (Post 12277003)
Boredom and depression are the biggest concern. Especially in winter.

Well there is that.

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 9:28 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by Photoplex (Post 12277026)
A thousands times this. Unsubscribing from this ridiculous thread :goodpost:

OK...byeeeee!

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 9:29 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by JonboyE (Post 12277016)
It is just a matter of courtesy to the people you are asking to help you. Walls of text are very difficult to read and require considerable effort. Many people will give up before they are half way through. Readers stop, breath and reflect between paragraphs. You will get more, and more useful, replies if you can beak it up a bit.

Then maybe just ask, "would it be ok if you wrote in paragraphs please? I'm finding it hard to follow without them. Many thanks." That would have been fine but as it was it came across a little rude. I'm always happy to help if asked nicely, I really am.

Dorothy Jun 20th 2017 9:42 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by ABD79 (Post 12277217)
OK...byeeeee!


Originally Posted by ABD79 (Post 12277221)
Then maybe just ask, "would it be ok if you wrote in paragraphs please? I'm finding it hard to follow without them. Many thanks." That would have been fine but as it was it came across a little rude. I'm always happy to help if asked nicely, I really am.

And the above didn't come across as rude?

You know, I have very few people on my ignore list but today I have added a new name. Get yourself some therapy for your obsessions. Yes, I am armchair diagnosing you as obsessed. You have been told by numerous people in many different ways that your children are not going to be eaten by wolves and there are no spiders or snakes conspiring to attack you but you refuse to take any advice on board. You want advice from those who are in the know? Here's my advice: Stay in the UK. I honestly don't think you are cut out for the expat life.

Oh and one last thing. Make your world about more than your children. Children grow up and leave and if they're all you have going for you then you're going to be a very lonely older person.

Ok.......byeeeeee

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 9:46 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 12277211)
I have always been kind of ambivalent about the move. In some respects it's been good but in others not so much. Younall think Canada is big on red tape and pieces of paper, you should try working here! I am a trained and qualified ophthalmic technician in Canada but in Australia I have to be a nurse to do my job. So I work as a secretary. A very well paid secretary, but still not my professional qualifications.

My husband of 20+years and I divorced 3 years ago and we now both have new partners. He seems to be very happy and I am as well. I am in the process of sponsorship for my man so we can come to my home for at least a few years so I can be closer to my family. My mom is over 90 now and I miss her. Ww did seriously look at moving to England, where my partner is from, but we found the process of applying for a spouse visa very difficult and although I could get a visa based on ancestry it's only temporary. So.... Canada it is!

My daughter is doing well here. She was 12 when we moved from Burlington where she was in a gifted and talented programme. She went to the mainstream school here and found lifelong friends. She became a very talented padtry chef anf at age 21 was head chef at the patisserie where she worked. She's now decided at 22 to change her life and is in uni studying a dual business and accounting degree.

My son was 10 when we moved and was not as fortunate in his life. He discovered drugs and alcohol and got into quite a lot of trouble as a young teen. He spent time in jail as well as rehab. Last year,.when he was 19 he had a bit of good fortune and completed rehab, got his first apartment and was accepted to TAFE (community college) and into.an apprenticeship. Sadly just a few weeks after his 20th birthday, in early August 2016, his addictions and the stressors became too much for him to cope with and he took his life. Hence the signature below. It's a quote I found that I love.

I don't know if things would have been the same if we had stayed in Canada or not. I really would like to have had a crystal ball 12 years ago. Australia is very much like Canada in a lot of ways. We're both young countries as far as history goes, governments are similar, etc. One thing I do really appreciate is that while the TV is crap at least it's not as crap as North American TV.

Sorry for the awful spelling mistakes. I'm on my phone.

Oh I am so, so sorry. I feel just awful reading that. I have three young boys and I often look at them and think of who, (and what), they'll become and it terrifies me that something like that can happen. You can be the best parent in the world and yet still that can never guarantee their life is going to be what you'd hoped for them. And I don't believe where you live matters. It's probably easy to think well, if we hadn't have lived there maybe he wouldn't have come in to contact with that life but I truly do believe that it wouldn't have mattered where you lived, if he came across someone, (which these days I'm sure most young people do), who had drugs then he would have followed that path. It doesn't need to start with anything extreme and it doesn't matter what you taught him or how much he was loved, some people are just naturally drawn to that lifestyle once they come in contact with it. I truly feel quite emotional right now. I'm so glad you shared that with me. It's certainly something for me to take into account - not because, as I have said, I believe living in any particular country has an effect on a child who decides to take that route in life because that's something that in Canada, Australia, America, the UK and countless more is a common thing to encounter...and if you are pre-programmed to have an addiction there's nothing anyone can do. But rather it's something for me to think about because, like I told my hunsband, and as I'm sure you'll agree from your experience, making that decision to move, if something goes wrong for your children, you're always left wondering "what if...". No matter what reason and logic actually tell you, there's always that thought. A lot of people on here have said I seem obsessed or paranoid about certain things...for example I was quite surprised about the amount of guns in Canada, the increasing gun crime, the schools not having a locked front entrance or fences and also I was surprised to discover that Canada actually has a 39% higher murder rate than the UK. And it's not that I'm paranoid, but with three young children I really have to take this into account because IF we were to move and something happened, I'd always wonder the classic, "what if...". Even though I know we could stay here and something awful happen and I'd think, "what if we'd moved? That wouldn't have happened." So please, never wonder or doubt your decisions. Or anything you may have, or may not have done as a parent. There was nothing you could have done more to stop what happened. I'm certain of that. Again, I'm so, so sorry for your loss and I truly appreciate you sharing that with me. Thank you :heart:

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 9:55 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 12277229)
And the above didn't come across as rude?

You know, I have very few people on my ignore list but today I have added a new name. Get yourself some therapy for your obsessions. Yes, I am armchair diagnosing you as obsessed. You have been told by numerous people in many different ways that your children are not going to be eaten by wolves and there are no spiders or snakes conspiring to attack you but you refuse to take any advice on board. You want advice from those who are in the know? Here's my advice: Stay in the UK. I honestly don't think you are cut out for the expat life.

Oh and one last thing. Make your world about more than your children. Children grow up and leave and if they're all you have going for you then you're going to be a very lonely older person.

Ok.......byeeeeee

Then I'm happy to be on your ignore list. I've never even once mentioned wolves. I asked about spiders in Australia because I have a genuine phobia. So basically, you're attacking me for having a phobia? That's kind of cruel. I'm not asking you to understand, but there's no need to attack me for it. You could easily not comment. I'm new to this whole forum thing and I'm only here to ask my questions about possibly relocating. I don't "hang out" here and post thousands of times, (27,267 in your case!) on all manner of posts just for fun. So I'm sorry if I'm not in the know on how things should be written, spaced accordingly etc. but I simply asked that instead of you pulling me up on the matter that you perhaps ask politely. I didn't know politeness what a bad thing here so I'm sorry about that. I wish you all the best of luck in your life and in your busy world of forum posting. Kind Regards, ABD.

raindropsandroses Jun 20th 2017 9:56 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 
Dorothy, I'm so sorry. I don't think anything compares to the agony of losing a child, and I don't think anyone truly understands what its like unless they've been through it. I think you lose part of your soul forever when one of your children dies, at least that's how it felt for me. I'm really glad to hear you're happy with your new partner.

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 10:00 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 12276985)
Well, now I feel properly derelict. I allowed one of my children to move to Alaska, even helped with her visa. Alaska, a beary place in the land of guns!

But I bet your child is having an amazing adventure! All you can do as a parent is support your children once they're old enough to make their own decisions, (unless they're genuinely not good decisions). I think it's an incredibly brave and suppletive thing you did. I genuinely hope it's everything your child wished for up there and they're having the time of their life:)

raindropsandroses Jun 20th 2017 10:08 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by ABD79 (Post 12277234)
Then I'm happy to be on your ignore list. I've never even once mentioned wolves. I asked about spiders in Australia because I have a genuine phobia. So basically, you're attacking me for having a phobia? That's kind of cruel. I'm not asking you to understand, but there's no need to attack me for it. You could easily not comment. I'm new to this whole forum thing and I'm only here to ask my questions about possibly relocating. I don't "hang out" here and post thousands of times, (27,267 in your case!) on all manner of posts just for fun. So I'm sorry if I'm not in the know on how things should be written, spaced accordingly etc. but I simply asked that instead of you pulling me up on the matter that you perhaps ask politely. I didn't know politeness what a bad thing here so I'm sorry about that. I wish you all the best of luck in your life and in your busy world of forum posting. Kind Regards, ABD.

ABD your comments to Dorothy are in their own special class of crass and rude, especially your last post about what Dorothy has been through, which was spectacularly tactless.

I don't know if you get a kick out of being inflammatory or attention seeking, or whether there is a genuine reason why you cannot form appropriate responses. Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming its the latter, instead of berating her for rudeness, get your own glass house in order.

ABD79 Jun 20th 2017 10:22 pm

Re: Life in Alberta?
 

Originally Posted by raindropsandroses (Post 12277248)
ABD your comments to Dorothy are in their own special class of crass and rude, especially your last post about what Dorothy has been through, which was spectacularly tactless.

I don't know if you get a kick out of being inflammatory or attention seeking, or whether there is a genuine reason why you cannot form appropriate responses. Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming its the latter, instead of berating her for rudeness, get your own glass house in order.

I'm not part of this forum "family" you have going on so your comment about me saying anything regarding what she has "been through" is null and void. I've just come here this past few days to ask some questions. How would I know anything about this person's history? So obviously anything I have said has absolutely nothing to do with that. I have done absolutely nothing wrong here but ask some questions about relocating. It's been from this that a few obvious regulars to this forum have then attacked me for being "obsessed" and "paranoid" and even for the way I construct my replies in that they're not properly paragraphed. Is that really necessary? Surely an easier thing to do would be to just not reply? I feel like I'm falling into this trap even having to respond now to defend myself. I'm not here to judge people, to criticise and to nitpick. Sure, if I'm pushed to it I'm defend myself which is what has finally happened. I have better things to do with my time and this is not me at all. I don't get any kind of satisfaction with picking a fight. I can see that some people here do, but that's not me. And finally retaliating is not the same. If you don't like all my questions then why reply? I just don't get it. Surely there are more important things you could do with your time? And now my time is being used up by being drawn into this weird world of forum family-ness and posting an insane amount of times on all manner of things and judging and criticising new people who are only here to ask for some help concerning relocation. I honestly would prefer it if you just didn't comment if it's not directly related to the question. It would save everyone concerned a lot of time. This isn't me, it's not my life or my world and neither do I wish it to be so I'm asking you kindly to please stop harassing me. Thank you.


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