British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Canada (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/)
-   -   I am British (join the Rant) (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/i-am-british-join-rant-240044/)

liftman Jul 3rd 2004 7:31 am

I am British (join the Rant)
 
I will provide nursery school palces to the children of illegal immigrants, but not those of taxpaying residents.


As Prime minister, I will sign away our countries right to decide on taxation, when to go to war, pensions, and anything else I can think of to a bunch of faceless beaurocrats in another country.


I will allow the burglar to sue me for damages, when he strains himself picking up my Widescreen TV.


I will jail a speeding driver for 2 years, but a rapist for 18 months(or less).


I will give the Police extra money for catching speeders, but not murdrers.


I will shut the pub at 11.00pm as you are not grown up enough to drink later than that unless you want to go into a noisy nightclub.

anyone for any more?

Glaswegian Jul 3rd 2004 7:50 am

I am a British shopkeeper, you can count on me to sell glue sniffing kits to your children

I am a British sporting personality, read about my drug habits in the tabloids and watch me fight in nightclubs

I am a British serviceman, I will go where the American President tells my Prime Minster to send me

I am a British businessman, I will earn lots of money from my overseas factories

Corky Jul 3rd 2004 8:35 am

And what about the silly little roundabouts in the road...what are they about?

Corky Jul 3rd 2004 8:36 am

Oh and squatters rights.........what the heck are they....It sounds like B&E to me!

Corky Jul 3rd 2004 8:37 am

And Gypos..........why can no one move them from public property? Even the Police run and hide from them!

liftman Jul 3rd 2004 8:39 am

I am a traveller/Gypsy. It is my heritage to move my 100 family members onto your land, use it as a dump, a toilet, a storage area for stolen goods. And you must go to court at your expense, and then use the police at taxpayers expense to get me to move onto someone elses land.

Mike Gas Jul 3rd 2004 8:45 am

I love Britain and also Canada they all have there plus and minus points and politicians and civil servants mess up in both

mikejw Jul 3rd 2004 8:46 am

1.I am a british vegtable pumped full of water and e numbers.

2.I am a british politician, i will not resign even if i am photographed by a tabloid newspaper with my mistress but will require any official who gets in my way, to retire.

3.I am a british policeman and i will spend all my energy replacing film in speeding cameras with 5 of my colleagues.

4.I am a british shop assistant and i will answer any query with a .....uuuuugh.

5.I am a british neigbour who does not know anybody else in my road.

6.I am the British public who profess love and respect for our public services but who secretly despise them for being low paid .

7.I am a british law abiding taxpayer and i am hated by the liberal elite.

8.I am a British pre teenager who can smash your windows,terrorise old people, wreck my community and then preach my 'civil rights'.

9.I am Big brother

10.I am Posh spice.

11. I am the M25,the M20,the M1, 1950's roads for the 21st century.



Bitter..........................not me.

liftman Jul 3rd 2004 8:52 am

I am a minority. Give me money.

I am a single mother. House me.

I am a citizen. Tax me.

I am a charity. Screw me.

I am a disabled person. Ignore me.

I am white, middle class, law abiding, taxpaying, working, married, family supporting, caring, sharing man.

VISA ME!

simonhouse Jul 3rd 2004 12:57 pm

I am a petrol pump. I will charge you plenty more for fuel than anywhere else in the world. Most of my proceeds do not go to the oil companies.

Sukhi Jul 3rd 2004 7:06 pm

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 
Originally posted by liftman
    > I am a minority. Give me
money.
    >
    > I am a single mother. House me.
    >
    > I am a citizen. Tax me.

    >
    > I am a charity. Screw me.
    >
    > I am a disabled person. Ignore me.

    >
    > I am white, middle class, law abiding, taxpaying, working,
married, family supporting, caring, sharing man.
    >
    > VISA
ME!

I'm a minority in the UK, but I'm British, and
proud of it, I will fight and give my lifeto defend your country. Let me
work hard, raise my children to respect others and authority, try and
go the extra mile to show that i am responsible and have a work ethic, I
will look after and support my parents without them being a burden to
taxpayers, I will create new jobs, businesses, uphold law and order,
staff your hospitals, old peoples home, disabled centres, schools.


I
will take on the menial low paid jobs, but expect my children to work
hard at school to become the next generation of teachers pharmacists,
lawyers, doctors, engineers.

But,
still I will allow you to look at me
with contempt because of my colour or my appearance.

:(


--
sinc


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

paddythepilot Jul 3rd 2004 9:00 pm


Originally posted by Sukhi
I'm a minority in the UK, but I'm British, and proud of it, I will fight and give my lifeto defend your country. Let me work hard, raise my children to respect others and authority, try and go the extra mile to show that i am responsible and have a work ethic, I will look after and support my parents without them being a burden to taxpayers, I will create new jobs, businesses, uphold law and order, staff your hospitals, old peoples home, disabled centres, schools.


I will take on the menial low paid jobs, but expect my children to work hard at school to become the next generation of teachers pharmacists, lawyers, doctors, engineers.

But,
still I will allow you to look at me with contempt because of my colour or my appearance.

Now this is interesting.......because this could equally be written by a British Immigrant upon arrival in Canada.

Frankly speaking, no country is perfect, all these problems you will find in Canada, Australia, New Zealand etc.

People from Eastern Europe move to the UK for a better life, Brits move to Canada/Australia/New Zealand for a better life.....everyone is essentially chasing a dream.

The UK is probably no worse than other western democracy in terms of crime rates, taxation, immigrants etc.

If you really want to emmigrate, make sure it is for better weather, otherwise you'll be just as disappointed with your new country.

No offence intended.






:(

liftman Jul 4th 2004 1:47 am

Possibly badly put by me.

It shoud have read:

I am an minority illegal immigrant. Give me money.

Sorry for any offence caused.

Sukhi Jul 4th 2004 1:53 am

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 
Originally posted by liftman
    > Possibly badly put by me.

    >
    > It shoud have read:
    >
    > I am an minority illegal immigrant. Give
me money.
    >
    > Sorry for any offence caused.

its Ok, I've
read you're other posts, and I knew you didn't quite mean it as it was
written.

take care;) :beer:


--
sinc


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

dingbat Jul 4th 2004 3:13 am


Originally posted by Sukhi
I'm a minority in the UK, but I'm British, and proud of it, I will fight and give my lifeto defend your country. Let me work hard, raise my children to respect others and authority, try and go the extra mile to show that i am responsible and have a work ethic, I will look after and support my parents without them being a burden to taxpayers, I will create new jobs, businesses, uphold law and order, staff your hospitals, old peoples home, disabled centres, schools.


I will take on the menial low paid jobs, but expect my children to work hard at school to become the next generation of teachers pharmacists, lawyers, doctors, engineers.

But,
still I will allow you to look at me with contempt because of my colour or my appearance.

:(

So so true....equally so for any immigrant in any country without millions to invest however.


All times are GMT -12. The time now is 1:31 am.

Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.