I am British (join the Rant)
 

I will provide nursery school palces to the children of illegal immigrants, but not those of taxpaying residents.


As Prime minister, I will sign away our countries right to decide on taxation, when to go to war, pensions, and anything else I can think of to a bunch of faceless beaurocrats in another country.


I will allow the burglar to sue me for damages, when he strains himself picking up my Widescreen TV.


I will jail a speeding driver for 2 years, but a rapist for 18 months(or less).


I will give the Police extra money for catching speeders, but not murdrers.


I will shut the pub at 11.00pm as you are not grown up enough to drink later than that unless you want to go into a noisy nightclub.

anyone for any more?

I am a British shopkeeper, you can count on me to sell glue sniffing kits to your children

I am a British sporting personality, read about my drug habits in the tabloids and watch me fight in nightclubs

I am a British serviceman, I will go where the American President tells my Prime Minster to send me

I am a British businessman, I will earn lots of money from my overseas factories

And what about the silly little roundabouts in the road...what are they about?

Oh and squatters rights.........what the heck are they....It sounds like B&E to me!

And Gypos..........why can no one move them from public property? Even the Police run and hide from them!

I am a traveller/Gypsy. It is my heritage to move my 100 family members onto your land, use it as a dump, a toilet, a storage area for stolen goods. And you must go to court at your expense, and then use the police at taxpayers expense to get me to move onto someone elses land.

I love Britain and also Canada they all have there plus and minus points and politicians and civil servants mess up in both

1.I am a british vegtable pumped full of water and e numbers.

2.I am a british politician, i will not resign even if i am photographed by a tabloid newspaper with my mistress but will require any official who gets in my way, to retire.

3.I am a british policeman and i will spend all my energy replacing film in speeding cameras with 5 of my colleagues.

4.I am a british shop assistant and i will answer any query with a .....uuuuugh.

5.I am a british neigbour who does not know anybody else in my road.

6.I am the British public who profess love and respect for our public services but who secretly despise them for being low paid .

7.I am a british law abiding taxpayer and i am hated by the liberal elite.

8.I am a British pre teenager who can smash your windows,terrorise old people, wreck my community and then preach my 'civil rights'.

9.I am Big brother

10.I am Posh spice.

11. I am the M25,the M20,the M1, 1950's roads for the 21st century.



Bitter..........................not me.

I am a minority. Give me money.

I am a single mother. House me.

I am a citizen. Tax me.

I am a charity. Screw me.

I am a disabled person. Ignore me.

I am white, middle class, law abiding, taxpaying, working, married, family supporting, caring, sharing man.

VISA ME!

I am a petrol pump. I will charge you plenty more for fuel than anywhere else in the world. Most of my proceeds do not go to the oil companies.

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

Originally posted by liftman
    > I am a minority. Give me
money.
    >
    > I am a single mother. House me.
    >
    > I am a citizen. Tax me.

    >
    > I am a charity. Screw me.
    >
    > I am a disabled person. Ignore me.

    >
    > I am white, middle class, law abiding, taxpaying, working,
married, family supporting, caring, sharing man.
    >
    > VISA
ME!

I'm a minority in the UK, but I'm British, and
proud of it, I will fight and give my lifeto defend your country. Let me
work hard, raise my children to respect others and authority, try and
go the extra mile to show that i am responsible and have a work ethic, I
will look after and support my parents without them being a burden to
taxpayers, I will create new jobs, businesses, uphold law and order,
staff your hospitals, old peoples home, disabled centres, schools.


I
will take on the menial low paid jobs, but expect my children to work
hard at school to become the next generation of teachers pharmacists,
lawyers, doctors, engineers.

But,
still I will allow you to look at me
with contempt because of my colour or my appearance.

:(


--
sinc


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Possibly badly put by me.

It shoud have read:

I am an minority illegal immigrant. Give me money.

Sorry for any offence caused.

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

Originally posted by liftman
    > Possibly badly put by me.

    >
    > It shoud have read:
    >
    > I am an minority illegal immigrant. Give
me money.
    >
    > Sorry for any offence caused.

its Ok, I've
read you're other posts, and I knew you didn't quite mean it as it was
written.

take care;) :beer:


--
sinc


Posted via http://britishexpats.com

So so true....equally so for any immigrant in any country without millions to invest however.

I am the British Government and if you drive a car, I'll tax the street; if you try to sit, I'll tax your seat; if you get too cold, I'll tax the heat, if you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

(taken from a famous Beatle song but it's so true)

I am the British government, I will cut you defence forces by 20,000 people at the time you need them the most.

You Brits, why the heck are you driving on the wrong side of the road.

We used to drive on the correct side, but since moving to Canada, we're forced to drive on the wrong side to avoid head on collisions! ;)

If you think Canada or anywhere else in the world hasn't got these problems plus a whole lot of problems unique to their country you are dreaming.

Get a life:o

This is a light-hearted fun poking event. Check out its partner event - the Canadian rant.:D

Besides, the majority of these looked pretty unique to the UK to me, certainly more so than in Canada anyway eh.

I'm british and I'll find something to whine about in even the most positive of situations:)

Iain

Lol! been there!

I am a British school child in an inner city school, looking for Education, Education, Education...

I am a British politician, I've been sacked twice, but I can represent my country in Europe

I am a British tax paying patient, looking for a National Health dentist/ hospital/ operation...

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

This thread was exhumed from its tomb for the benefit of Flashman :)

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

You really are a trouble maker aren't you? :p

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

Watch who you're labelling, Missy!! :p

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

If the shoe fits...... :p

Seriously, are you going to answer my question about Scottish and Irish gaelic?

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

What question ... sorry I've been wasting time by being out enjoying life rather than being glued to the forum :o

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

I know that gaelic is a celtic language and there is scottish and irish gaelic. Are they interwined - if a person can understand one, they can understand the other?

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

I was taught Scottish Gaelic at school ... I can recognise some of the words in Irish Gaelic and Welsh ... then again, I'm not a fluent speaker ... nowadays my French is better than my Gaelic.

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

The two languages were separated at birth, are similar, but arent totaly the same, and are very different to welsh / cornish dialects.

If you really want more details try this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scots_Gaelic_language

I know only two words...

Slainte Mhath!

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

Thanks Iain - very very helpful. It came up because we are doing my mom's memoirs.......and she stills knows a little irish gaelic, but was telling us not the Scottish.....and so we we discussing the difference. I tried to find something on the internet, but couldn't find anything as detailed as you supplied, so I sent her a copy.]

You're a sweetie....thanks......

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

I have been a british taxpayer since leaving school
I have not had one days unemployment, like most folks on this forum, and would dread the thought of it

What do I get **** ALL FROM THIS GOVERMENT !!!

I send my kids to school, in the hope they will be safe, NOT!!!! only to be assaulted by another pupil, my nephew reckons he can get any hard drug he wants in his school playground, NOW THAT IS FECKED RIGHT UP !!!!!!!
No help with any of my child care bills, I pay £250 per month for a 3 year old, now if I was a single parent, living off the state, I would get this all paid for and some money for free !!!!!! to spend how I wished, and if i wanted more i would go down my local social security office a ask for some and I would get some !!!!!!!!!!!!! FECKED UP SYSTEM OR NOT !!!!!!!

Higher PAYE taxes, higher national insurance contributions, higher council tax, higher tax on fuel, higher tax on everything that we buy, rent, owe, beg, steal, borrow, I reckon they would try to tax the air that we breathe if they could find a way !!!!! GET THE PICTURE GUYS IN THE UK !!!!!!

So **** OFF Tony Blair !!!!!

My 2 pence worth

OH by the way its my birthday today (the 17th) and only a young 38, so all you young females out there get in the queue !!!! as the love machine is a coming !!!!!!!!! ( excuse the pun )

And I have had only a few :beer:

Eddie

Re: I am British (join the Rant)
 

With all due respect is this implying that only 'minorities' are:

i) illegal immigrants

ii) the only illegal immigrants who get money

by the way to carry on with the theme of the thread

1. I am a Brit who will belive tabloid press and political rhetoric about foreigners/asylum seekers swamping our towns and depriving us off decent houses, jobs, education, a decent transport system yet:

i) 'minorities' make up 25% of the NHS staff and the system would collapse if they packed their bags and departed our shores.

ii) government expenditure on asylum support is approximatley 0.01 of GDP with said people receiving 70% of the benefits one would normally get = approx 50 quid/wk for a single adult - wanna know how much we spend in eyeraq everyday?

iii) my government the cradle of civility and rule of law has proposed (defeated) laws placing asylum seekers outside the remit of judicial review - such 'privileges' not even afforded to serial killers (I'm being cynical of course)

iii) government policy has lead to housing shortages (dire planning acts), under investment in the rail/ roads, closing down of medical training schools and apprenticeship schemes, low pay/ morale in the civil service including teaching coupled with a decline in the manufacturing base and record property prices driven by our house obsessed boom and bust market.

2. I am a Brit who will moan that foreigners in my country don't speak English then expect when we go on holiday abroad for the locals to speak such.

3. I am a Brit who will moan that foreigners are taking over but we practically own Majorca et al and the hottest programmes on TV are 'a property abroad' et al - we are pricing out 1st time buyers in Britanny, France

4. I am a Brit who supports a football (soccer) team with 'foreign' imports as they are more likely to be technically gifted (not really but we tend to get the finished product so don't bother with youth development).