Batfink

Hi

We have been in this process for about 2 years now and are awaiting either a refusal or med requests. My problem is that now my husband is gettting cold feet about the whole thing. I suppose it's only natural seeing as emmigrating is now becoming more of a reality and i guess that he is feeling the weight of responsibility, but how do i get him to regain some of the hope and excitement that he had before? He tells me that he still fully intends to go to canada should we have the opportunity but now all he sees is what we would be giving up and how all the money that we have saved could be spent on extending our house etc. I want to take some of the worry away - he worries about far too much anyway - he's a worry wart!!!

H E L P

PaulCall

what about the possibility of a quick holiday in canada,just to revitalise the idea in his head,or failing that just hit him with a frying pan till he agrees
good luck with what you choose to do.....if you dont at least give it a shot,you may regret it

Batfink

This is my thought exactly!!! I do like the idea of hitting him over the head with the frying pan though!!!!! We would love to go for a Recce - but unfortunately lack of cash prevents us from doing so (hubby would have heart failure if i said i wanted to spend what cash we'd saved on a holiday!!!!)

Still, i will continue to 'big up' Canada (although will have to tread carefully - it's got to the point where he's refusing to discuss it anymore and has left all the research to me!!!!)

Ho hum - maybe i should divorce him, get a WP and marry a nice hunky Canadian!

PaulCall

it would be a shame to throw the chance all away......especially when you have your heart set on it.....good luck in your quest

Batfink

Thank you

simon876

Hold on there Batfink!

Don't give up

I can't tell you how many times we have been around this discussion in the last 18 months. We still catch ourselves thinking about what we have, and 'how much hassle' we will buy ourselves by emigrating.
In the end, we come back to the original reasons that motivated us to apply.

We also think about what our 14 year-old son said before we applied. He took two days to think about it - we weren't going to submit our papers without his buy-in (and that of our 11 year-old daughter). He eventually said, "We could sit on our hands and do nothing and wonder what might have been. Let's do it."

Maybe get another recce trip in, or find something to channel your energies into for the time being - for that's all it is: The time being.

Waiting seems endless, then suddenly it's full steam ahead. Believe me, its really hard at times to stay positive but that's what we have to do.

CHC will do their thing when they're ready. There's not much we can do about that. Worrying about it is like riding a rocking horse - it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.

Let's be honest, emigrating IS scary and exciting at the same time. It's not just about stepping out of our comfort zone - it's a huge jump.

But ...

1. We've moved house before.
2. We've changed jobs before (and recently).
3. We know the language.
4. We've got education, skills and experience (otherwise they wouldn't be considering our application)
5. We've got good looks, intelligence & modesty (OK, I lied about the last two)
6. We've got each other and our kids - and that's another reason to go

Canada anyone?

Simon & Laura

Batfink

Thanks Simon,

I'm going to make him sit down and read this thread - either that or get hit with said frying pan!!!

It's difficult when one of you is really excited about everything (i.e me!!) and the other is more apprehensive. We used to balance each other out but he seems to have been gripped by the the old collywobbles and doesn't know how to let it go!!!! I'm not saying i don't ever get the collywobbles but i'm very much of the opinion that if you don't try you'll always regret it! Maybe i've got more of the 'adventure' gene in me than he has in him (is there a tablet you can take for that...?)

kate white

frying pan ehwoman you might just kill him I have been down that road and as people said YOU need him to get in to canada my OH has thought about chucking it in but still when it comes to it he doesntlast week I had given up on it all but there I am back in looking things up and people have been so helpfull it make you feel why the hell should we give up.yeah its hard going but if you manage to get there it will be worth it good luck and hold off for now with the frying pan

Batfink

Hi Kate,

Thanks for your reply - i do remember your thread a couple of weeks ago - re: bumping off the old man - but as you said i need him to get into Canada! Thanks for reminding me - i could've been in all sorts of trouble!

Glad to hear your still sane (relatively!) after going throught the same sort of thing - there may still be hope for me yet!

Thank god it's Friday and i can get drunk tonite (in peace too as hubby's on nights - yippee!!)

Bring on the hangover

shadowplay

Batfink, I think your husband has butterflies. Probably seen an article in a magazine or something like that. Quite natural to encounter that and emotions can run amok. Just sit him down and tell about the advantages and postives.

When I became a little depressed through lack of news, and could not make it back to Canada she bought me a present and it really worked. The DVD was called "Over Canada" and features over an hour of fantastic shots of the provinces from the air set to music. It inspires you and makes you know that you are doing the right thing. Zoom Airlines uses this DVD to show to its customers when they leave the UK.

It is available from Amazon etc but it's a wonderful souvenir for all who have a love for Canada. I think it was priced at £15 UK pounds which is a bargain if cures the blues. Some posters who read this forum may know what I am talking about. I'm sure your husband will be persuaded to keep pursuing the dream. Take care eh?

Batfink

Thanks Shadowplay - am definately going to look into the DVD - in fact am of to amazon right now - let's just hope the boss doesn't catch me on the internet (again!!!)

Member123

Poor Batfink - at the minute you just need to tell him you will leave him if he doesnt catch himself on
Have you any footage on a videocamera or anything from a previous trip. My OH and me, when preparing for our reccie now in two weeks, sat down the other night to sort out our video camera tapes etc. We ended up sitiing for two hours solid watching the footage of our holiday we had in Ontario three years ago. By the end of it we just looked at each other and had big smiles on our faces with excitement. So many times throughout the video we had said to each other, wouldnt it be great to live in that house, this area etc -and now we are going to be, only in Saskatchewan!!!
I was the one getting cold feet, because of family pressure(long story) and it has restored my faith in moving.
Good luck.

Batfink

Thank alvic,

Unfortunately our trip was before the vast introduction of video camera (back in '98) when we both in the Army. However, i have taken Shadowplay's advice and just ordered a DVD from Amazon (couldn't find the one he mentioned), but found one called Destination Canada. I think it may be geared up more towards tourists - but nevertheless, will hopefully do the trick.

Failing that perhaps he needs to go to Canada on his own for a month or so when (if) we finally get the visas. Maybe if he's got no pressure to find employment and he hasn't got screaming kids and a wife (possibly screaming -depending on the situation!) following him around he may relax a little. We can join him after he's found his feet (we are not selling our house so it should be ok). Let's just hope he doesn't fall in love with a beautiful canadian lady whilst he's there (although from the look of other threads - maybe the dress sense will put him off!!!)

Anyway - here's to waiting for our new DVD! will let you all know what it's like
Thanks for the support everyone

dexdaw

Why not just complete the process and buy yourself some thinking time.
We've got our meds next week and are also having second thoughts. However, having come this far we still plan on landing (subject to meds obviously) and then coming back to the UK. We've then got 3 years to make our minds up. (using the 2 years in 5 to retain residency).

scottandsara

Just remind him of the famous Wayne Gretzky quote "You miss 100% of the shots you never take. "

That should get him thinking

Scott