Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Great point Glas. I mean't to put this in my initial post but somehow wandered off the subject.

Yes it did affect me the first time. I left the UK and all my family and friends behind when I moved to the USA at 18 years old, so I have experienced Culture Shock. As I have been through it before, it will be interesting to see whether I get it this time around. I doubt it though, as so much of my life is exactly the same as it was in the UK. I have a lot of friends over here and I have all my animals. I am used to being alone so this doesn't bother me. I moved to a beautiful area where people are incredibly friendly and I know a lot of people in the town. Even at the supermarket, I bump into people I know so it really is home-from-home for me.

Before I moved into our house in Canada, we were living in a rented cottage after the sale of our UK property, and I really disliked this cottage so when I got over here, it was like a breath of fresh air to be back in my own house.

I think the knowledge I have gained throughout life abroad has helped me a lot, but also my good friends over here have made the transition so easy. If you don't know anyone in your new home, it could be a very lonely existence.

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

This is my second go at living in Canada, and to be honest this time I am finding it is a breeze. the First time however I felt massively homesick so much so that we went home. Big Mistake!!!!

this time I do try to avoid looking at BBC news websites etc but I still love to listen to Steve Wright!!!

It does take time to get used to live in a different place though as everything is new and you ahev to get used to the feeling of not knowing how to do anything!!! I think that is why we are finding it easier this time around as it all isn't so foreign.

HTH

Sonia

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

What is kind of strange for me is that I moved to the UK from Ireland when I was 18 years old and I couldn't get enough of it!! I loved it from Day 1. In hindsight thought, I think a lot of it was because I was away from my parents for the first time and it was my first real freedom. However, I lived there for 13 years happily enough and then I met my husband who is canadian (he was doing some travelling). We lived together for 4 years and he had always made it clear that he was going home and I was free to come with him. Well, there was no choice to be made, I had to go or lose him. I had no real qualms about going and I wasn't really worried about homesickness or fitting in etc. I thought it would be much the same as it was when I moved to the UK for the first time. How wrong I am!!!
Its so different, but then, I guess I am too.
I feel a bit like there is no 'spirit' here, no real passion for life. Everyone seems to be busy doing stuff all the time, but if I see one more TV advert for the biggest free TV, the biggest home appliance, the best car, the fastest boat - I think I will scream!! Its a big deal here to have lots of toys. But these things don't make a life do they? Please correct me if you have experienced otherwise.
Some of my unhappiness stems from where we live too. No offence to anyone from Hamilton, but I HATE it here!!!!
We came to Hamilton because that is where my husbands mother lived and we were staying with her at first (we never intended to settle here), then coincidentally, my husband got a good job here so we bought a nice house on the outskirts of the city. But who are we kidding, its still Hamilton and we have to go into the city to do anything, so not only am I missing everything I've ever known and loved, I feel like I am stuck where I swore I would never stay in the first place! Yikes. God, I am really on a roll here...!!
Chances are that once I finish with college in April, I will end up working here too and then how do you justify quitting two jobs to go somewhere else? On top of which, his family is all here and they wouldn't be happy about him moving off again. You must all think I am such a whiner. But I'm stuck in such a horrible limbo and I'm so unhappy at the moment.
Perhaps I should say something nice about it here?! We have a nice three bedroomed house that we can afford on one salary and where would we do that in the UK? We have the use of a family cottage in the country and its beautiful there, I am looking forward to summer for that reason. The people are really nice, but I sometimes think they are a little like Stepford clones, there's not a lot going on underneath! I'm so mean.

Anyhow, I'll stop complaining now and let you all set me straight!!

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Oh Trish....no one can 'set you straight'. Those are your feelings and you are certainly entitled to them. I'm sorry you are feeling as you are.

Have you spoken with your husband about how you are feeling? What does he say on the subject? I mean if you are truly unhappy where you are...as a couple you should be able to discuss other alternatives...but something you've said has me a tad bit worried...perhaps it's nothing...but you said and I quote "We lived together for 4 years and he had always made it clear that he was going home and I was free to come with him. Well, there was no choice to be made, I had to go or lose him." Now if it is not the case, please forgive me...but this sounds about domineering and controlling to me. Perhaps you need to be a bit more forceful in what your wants and needs are.

Just my opinion...I do hope things work out for you.

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

eww, you are right, it doesn't sound very good and that's not the way it was at all. In the beginning, I didn't pay too much attention to it but as our relationship progressed, it seemed a very natural thing to do. We visited Canada together many times before I made the decision to go, so its not as if I was dragged here, quite the opposite in fact. I had to wait almost two years for my visa so I had plenty of time to think about what I was doing.
I really should point out that I was happy to come here. There are things about the UK that I was cheesed off with (traffic, cost, population, crime, the weather to name a few) and to have the things we both wanted ( a somewhat slower pace of life, a house!!, more space, convenience and lots of things besides) so I guess I really should stop dwelling on what I miss and remember what annoyed me about it in the first place eh?!
This is a many-layered problem and I guess there will be no easy solution. Going back to the UK would be a big problem too, so I'm not keen to rush off back. I know I have to give it more than six months!!

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Hi Sonia,

A little off topic, but what was it like in Halifax??

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Hi Trish,

I am usually in the Immigration forum as we are still living in Europe at the time, but your thread on homesickness somehow caught my attention. I have moved alot and sometimes I got it, sometimes I didn´t.

In a way I feel homesickness is also a good thing because it ensures to me that I continue to carry my history and the love for my origins with me, something I do not want to loose, despite the decission I have made that my future lies elsewhere.

Sorry about getting philosophical, if this does not help you much.

For us what was really important was to build our life around things we love. We have 2 great kids (first one born in Canada, which created more of a bond to the country than I would have thought) and there is nothing like hugging your little one when you´re feeling depressed. When we lived in the US we embarked in the thrilling adventure of buying and restoring a historic house. That kept us increadibly busy and brought us the respect and friendship of the neighbourhood. Broke our heart when we had to sell and move to grumpy old Switzerland

By the sounds of it you are not homesick to go back. You sound as if you are unhappy with some of the circumstances of your life.
I have all the confidence in the world, that a daring person like you, who left everything behind to start a new life on another continent can work out the comparatively "minor details" to get your life back into track. You probably have got to change a few things and move on with your life.

I will pass on the advice I got from someone on this forum when I was feeling down with the long wait for PR.

"Go take your Hubby out for a nice dinner and talk about the changes the 2 of you need and want to make." (I suggest making a reservation in the revolving restaurant on the CN Tower :beer: . At least in 2000 it wasnt that expensive when you take into account that you get the elevator ride for free. And you will get a bit of big city feeling)

Good Luck and BTW I would trade Hamilton for Switzerland any time :D :D

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

I don't think you need to be set straight. I think your points are valid. One thing you wrote really caught my eye --

I think your own personal happiness is more than enough to quit a job if you're unhappy. Life is just too short to be stuck somewhere doing something that makes you feel like you've already died.

That said, probably a lot of the negative stuff you're feeling is homesickness but some of it sounds perfectly legitimate. It might take a while to figure out which is which and what emotions are really trying to tell you something that you should listen to.

Homesickness can feel so legitmate - if that makes sense. I mean it nearly made me jump on a plane when I first experienced it but now I can see it more for what it is. But still, chances are you might continue to feel like crap because you genuinely are not content with your situation.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say here :o ... I guess it's just that it can be very difficult to know whether your discontent could be 'cured' with a move back to the UK or a move to a part of Canada that might be more appropriate for you (and your needs and wants) or something or someplace entirely different.

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Hi Maple leaf, Speaking of the devil........ :D :D

You posted essencially the same thing the exact same time I did, was it hacking or voodoo :scared: :scared:

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Glad to hear things are not as they appeared in your post :)

I agree with MHHP (don't tell him ;) ) that it sounds like you are more unhappy with some of your personal circumstances as opposed to necessarily missing the UK.

Have that great heart to heart and I wish you all the luck!!

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Know how you feel Trish. I get teared up over M&S and frequently give out to my husband about how crap the radio is here and how much it costs for a decent UK newspaper 3 days out of date! Spending Christmas entirely with my in-laws didn't help either, especially since we don't even speak the same language!

I too came here of my own accord, having lived here before but somehow this time is v. different. My advice is to do some volunteer work and join a group activity that vaguely interests you. I volunteer at the local YMCA and they give a free membership if you do more than about 3 hours per week. Alternatively find someone local to meet up with and have a good moan about it. This works for me! Try meetup.com or similar.

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

PS i forgot to add...that i am on my way out the door to go shopping and get lost.....LOL....... :eek:
This weekend i am having driving lessons...loooook out Canada~~~~~~hahahaaaa :scared: :D

Re: How long to get over homesickness...??
 

I heard that!!!!! :cool:




And too Maple leaf:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrr

You are causing me great pain or rather homesickness (to get back to the topic of the thread), but just wait my day will come!

BTW: how are you progressing on replacing that "mate" withe an ",eh?" :D

And to Trish,

You see, you got some great buddies on here, just watch out that you dont get addicted to this forum or you will end up like us sorry figures. :scared:

BTW: The 360 Revolving Restaurant is rotating around its own axis, not revolving which meens spinning around something else (like the moon around the earth, scary thought for a restaurant)

Here is the phone no. to make reservations :D

Have fun!!!

Address: CN Tower, 301 Front Street West (Downtown); Tel: (416) 362 5411; E-mail: [email protected]