Hi all,

Can anyone give me any idea how long it took them to get over feeling really homesick?? I have been in Ontario now for 6 months and for the most part I am glad I made the move, but I am having the hardest time getting over missing friends and family, and silly things like Marks and Spencer, the pub with my friends, certain foods etc etc. I know it all sounds really trivial, but I am desperately homesick and feeling so lonely. I went back to College when I got here as I worked in IT and didn't enjoy it, so I'm retraining as a medical secretary, but although I am enjoying being at school again, I am not making friends as such because everyone is a lot younger than me (I'm 31) and while they are very sweet, I don't have a lot in common with them.

Some people have said that they never experienced feeling this crap when they arrived and others said it took them three years to stop wanting to go home.

I think my husband (who is canadian) is starting to despair of me! And while I don't necessarily want to rush back, I would love some tips or ideas or suggestions - anything really!!!

Sorry for whining!

Oh Trish that is a shame. I moved to Ontario in December with my daughter and our animals. My husband had to return to the UK at the end of December but is coming over for a holiday next week.

I haven't had ANY pangs whatsoever of missing anything about England. I have a tonne of friends here though and we had owned our property for a year before I eventually moved here permanently so I already knew a lot of people.

Where abouts in Ontario are you? I would be happy to help you out if you fancy a change of scenery. We have a lovely farm up in the Norhtumberland Hills with horses and dogs and cats!!! If you need companionship or just a phone number to call someone when you are feeling down, I am more than willing to help you settle in a bit.

Take a look at the Australian Forum and do a search for homesickness. The threads on there are quite numerous and lots of people respond to them, giving support and encouragement, then have a look at the Moving back to the UK forum and see if you feel as bad as some of the people on there and then come back here, by which time, people will have said nice things...

I've moved lots in the UK and have come to the conclusion, it takes about 2 years to settle (if you don't have kids or a dog). You feel bad because you can remember what your old pattern of life was like and your new one isn't as extensive yet. Once your network of friends and things like a good hairdresser/dentist/doctor are in place, you'll start to feel better. I still get a bit homesick but also want to come back to Edinburgh when I've been home for more than a few days. I know I will be the same when I next move.

One comment from a lot of the threads is that women take longer to settle and that it might be due to them being closer to family & friends back home (a generalisation...) so get your thinking head on and try to get a network of friends or contact the old network for some support.

hi all my name is karon i am getting married to a canadian guy next year i am trying to find out if i will i become a canadiancitizenship after we r married if so can some one tell me which papers i need i hope someone can help me ty . yours sincerely karonjean

Try starting a "New thread" But No, you dont get citizenship, you dont even get permanent resident status automatically. What you are looking for is information about spousal sponsorship and PR application.

Look here for it.
www.cic.gc.ca

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/sponsor/familymembers.html

After at least three years as a PR if you meet certain requirements and pass the test then you can be a citizen.

In my opinion, I think for most people, homesickness never does go completely away. I think most people learn how to deal with it better over time though and the bouts of homesickness get easier and easier to cope with.

I think your particular situation though -- being in a new country now for six months -- you are right when it seems to hit people the hardest. When I first came to the UK (from Canada) I was fine for a few months, then wham at 5 months I was ready to jump on the next jet. I even packed a suitcase!

Thankfully I had some friends who had gone through similar experiences to talk to. The one thing that helps me the most is just realising that homesickness is a normal reaction to living in a new country and that that first bout is usually the worse bout. I've never felt as awful as my first bout of homesickness - not even close.

Pragmatic things I do if I'm feeling down is close all the curtains and pretend I'm in Canada - watch a Canadian film, listen to the CBC, call Canadian friends, etc. or I go out and explore - try to learn about or see something new or I just crawl under my duvet and bawl until I fall asleep. Talking (or doing this forum stuff) with others helps a lot too.

I can't think of anything else at the moment!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trish1

Hi all,

Can anyone give me any idea how long it took them to get over feeling really homesick?? I have been in Ontario now for 6 months and for the most part I am glad I made the move, but I am having the hardest time getting over missing friends and family, and silly things like Marks and Spencer, the pub with my friends, certain foods etc etc. I know it all sounds really trivial, but I am desperately homesick and feeling so lonely. I went back to College when I got here as I worked in IT and didn't enjoy it, so I'm retraining as a medical secretary, but although I am enjoying being at school again, I am not making friends as such because everyone is a lot younger than me (I'm 31) and while they are very sweet, I don't have a lot in common with them.

Some people have said that they never experienced feeling this crap when they arrived and others said it took them three years to stop wanting to go home.

I think my husband (who is canadian) is starting to despair of me! And while I don't necessarily want to rush back, I would love some tips or ideas or suggestions - anything really!!!

Sorry for whining!

Hi Trish

I did it the other way round and moved to the UK. I used to get homesick about every 6 months. It doesn't last long (it's longer in the winter when the weather is at its most depressing). You get over it and the feeling comes back again 6 months later. With time the period of homesickness is shorter and they get more spaced out. Then once in a while it's a smell, taste, sound that give you a strong homesickness feeling but only for a few seconds or minutes.

Don't despair, you'll get over it.

Best of luck

Marie-Claude

I would suggest that you have to work at it and find ways of diminishing the nostalgia. Expand your network by joining professional, volunteer, recreational, sports organizations or clubs etc. Have a pastime where you network and meet people.

Initially this is a distraction so that you don't have time to feel homesick
but eventually helps you establish a new lifestyle.

umm.... The best cure for homesickness is probably to go back home, and see the difference. I know that trying to make friends in Canada is a must and trying to find someone who has the same common interests as you is hard. Even though Canadians are english speaking, there is something different, I sort of liken it to some german friends we have, they are nice friendly, but there is something missing.

Maybe invite your friends from the Uk over and have a blast, you never know they may want to emigrate.

Sorry I can't offer more help.
Keep smiling
regards
frankieforehead

Personally I think the whole issue of homesickness affects everyone differently. We moved here in September (I'm married to a Canadian) and I felt homesick within a month of arriving and I felt it bad! It's now been six months and I'm finding that those feelings are easing somewhat. I also find it's easy to start them off by dwelling too much on the things that I miss. Mind you, on the other hand I listen to UK radio online, watch BBC Canada and BBC World and I often find that it gives me all that I need of my old home. For me things are definitely improving and I don't feel the urge so much to catch the next flight home!

The first thing is not to panic - its normal! Feelings of homesickness are completely valid. The problem with these feelings is that they tend to magnify other things. For example M&S is probably not really that important to you - but your homesickness has focused you on it! Tell us exactly what you miss about it (by PM if you want) and we will do our best to give you a Canadian equivalent. The same goes for most other things - ask and we will tell you what to buy to replace what you miss. Given time you will not be so focused on your UK brands.

Your friends - now thats hard to replace but email goes a long way to help with that. Consider getting a decent long distance phone package and call back to the UK when you need to.

Stay calm. Tell hubby what it is you are missing.

Mrs G

Thank you all for your support and kind words.
It is a very difficult thing to describe, this homesickness. You are all right that is it not things like M&S that I REALLY miss, I'm just hung up on them, I mostly feel like I left my life behind. I feel like I have nothing familiar here and no history, there is nothing I can take for granted. Maybe these things will come with time, I just am worried about feeling this way while waiting for them!!
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better today, the snow is falling and its beautiful outside - that's one thing I don't miss, the weather in the UK!!

Thanks for letting me let off some steam...

I felt/feel like this sometimes. We have been in Canada for 11 months now. I wanted to go back to my old life and friends/familiarity after about 3 days! At 6 months, we seriously considered (about to book flights) going back to our old life, but when push came to shove, we decided that we at least wanted to give it longer here for the experience of it all if nothing else.

The desire to rush back to the UK diminished after about 6 months and the homesick feeling started to disappear more at about 8 months when we began to make friends who we could really talk to and have a laugh with. We are now beginning to feel less like newbies and are becoming more part of things.

I agree with others when they say that homesickness affects everyone differently and that it can take a couple of years to begin to feel like you belong.

At the start, we disliked most things about Canada, but now we are beginning to appreciate the differences and notice alot more good things about the place. Our reasons for moving here are beginning to be realised at last - the main thing that has changed though is our feelings which has just been a case of giving it time and building friendships with others.

Hang in there!

Chris

well, i dont think i should be posting my views on this forum, for fear of influencing you so early in your sojourn, as i have already been through all that which you are going through now, and yes, as some are saying here, the feeling doesnt go away! i met a lady at work who has been here 25 yrs, and when the subject about homesickness came up, she had tears in her eyes while she was talking about her first few years here! we just came to the conclusion that canada is not for us, and we're heading back very soon. to cut it to the bone, try to fit in as best you can, but also try and think ahead and see if you would like to be here for the rest of your days. remember, life is short and it aint no good to nobody to go wasting precious time if you're not happy in a place, is it? chin up.....

We've all been there and done that ... some of us have let off a lot of steam in the past.

How you react to emigrating is very personal ... it's very rare to find someone who's been through the process without some homesickness or culture shock at some point.

It's good that Tiaribbon hasn't missed the UK since she moved here with her daughter and animals, but earlier on life she had a different experience:
I'm not picking on Tia, I'm just illustrating how past experience can affect how you'll react to what you're going through now ... homesickness is a very personal thing and depends a lot on circumstance.

The most important thing is to remember that most of us have been through it already and survived ... we're into year four in Canada and survived homesickness, doubts about the decision, culture shock, etc, etc.

If you don't want to open your heart to the forum in, the old hands are PM'able ... we may be cranky, but we mean well

And always remember that M&S did try to set up shop in Canada and failed abysmally, so they can't be that great

Hang in there, it gets smoother