Heard in a Home Hardware not too far from Snave Manor:
Unwary British Expat: Can I have some turf, please?
Home Hardware Assistant: Pardon me?
U-B-E: Can I have some turf, please. You know, instant lawn.
H-H-E: Sod!
U-B-E: Well excuse me, I was only asking!

LOL, like if you ask for a rubber over there you get strange looks and have to say eraser instead

Yeah but at least you can stand in the middle of a drug store and shout I'VE LOST MY JOHNNY.

Husband sent e-mail to colleagues at work using the phrase............"don't mean to put a spanner in the works, but ............."


Got a lot of ???????????????????'s back !


For all Canadians who don't know, a spanner is a wrench.

So, when did you do that then Butch?

"dying for a fag!" apparently gets mixed reactions too

What about pants, we call them troosers
And also Trunk, we call a boot, but we also wear boots
Fender or bonnet, but we wear bonnets as well
Highway, motorway !!
You sidewalk Us pavement

Throw in a Scotsman and we are all phucked

Throw in a pished Scotsman, now I know we are all phucked !!!!

MMM I think the dialogue between Canadians and me the daft Scots, Glaswegian guy will be very interesting

Eddie

Yeah...........me thinks you may get a few politely blank looks ! All part of the fun though.

If you are anything like my Scottish Uncle you might have to slow speech down a wee bit for the rest of the non-scot population

Slow down, bloomin heck it will need to be a snails pace

Was there last year and in may this year, even slowing right down I still had blank looks,

Just imagine them saying, "WTF is that stupid prick talking about, bloody foreigners" !!!!!!! and I wasn't pished

Eddie

Hi Ralstne.....................was in your, 'soon to be neck of the woods' on Saturday. Expanding quickly .........and nicely too.

Lovely feel to Beaumont. Are you ready ?

Hey R2D2 how you doing?
We are SO not ready! We've been trying to pack so that our shipment of belongings arrives not long after we do. The boat left today and our stuff wasn't on board!! I hate this packing malarcky and I don't even have that much stuff left to bring! I guess its just reality setting in and all but I'm feeling quite stressed. We sold our house a few months ago and have been staying with family (complete with Dog!) which in hindsight has just added to the feeling of unrest etc. The only consolation is that our house over in Beaumont is looking so great now (sorry if I'm boring you with a photo you've already seen), it's not far from complete and I can't stop staring at the photos we get emailed. I'm sure the showhome lady thinks we're mad and complete pests emailing and phoning all the time! You been down to the water playpark with the kiddies yet? I hear its pretty scorching over there right now. Hope your family visit went well and that the goodbyes weren't too harrowing.

If you're building, don't ask for a 'plot' of land

Yes indeedy........thats where we went on Saturday, (along with half the population of Leduc County judging by the amount of people there.) It was so hot and my kids (and the big kid aka the OH) had a ball.

Temps are low 30's and due to be nice all week too. Phew!

House is looking a real beauty. Hope you don't back onto the water park for your sake ! Way too many kids to have a peaceful afternoon out on the deck!

You'll forget all the stress and hassles once youre sitting in that beautiful house and enjoying good old Alberta. ! Keep us all posted .

Debbie

Hi there Ralstne,
Your house is looking really nice, bet you can't wait to see it all finished in the flesh! Won't be long though, the weeks are flying by You will love it once you get here and all that stress will be worth it. Are you bringing your dog with you? What breed is it? We recently rescued our first ever dog, a Jack Russell terrier, he is a so much fun and great company. At the moment he is into gopher hunting!!!

Pauline

when i lived in Canada a friend once asked if my husband had any suspenders her husband could borrow. she could tell by my look that I was well confused. She was after braces.