mandymoochops

I have borrowed (OK blatantly stolen) this posting from Ray in The Lounge section of the forum - sorry Ray - but thought it was good and thought I would let you guys see it in case you don't venture there.

Apparently its being re-written but this one is excellent!



1. Look and learn for a week before your first posting

2. For your first posting a introduction of yourself is most welcome
and appreciated..be pleasant and un-critical ... People do not respond
to the unknown entity.

3. You may think you are smart ..There's lots here smarter than you
accept this. I am not included in that statement

4. For your first 100 or so postings stick to non-contenuous
issues ... allow time to get your feet under the table

5. Postings can sometimes get quite heated.. Do not threaten
anybody..they may well be 3000 miles away and you will look silly
It is permitted to waggle your cursor across their name in a
violent manner.. NEVER EVER bring up a posters partner in any
type of negative way, particularly if they do not post

6. Mickey-taking is here big time.. its just frivolous chat.. Do not
let it get to you ... have fun with it ..

7. We have all ages, religions, sexual orientation and colors here..
accept them all....

8. If you just returned from Disneyland, wait at least three months before informing us that you, your wife and three small children have decided that you just have to move to Flordia and ask for advise on visas.

9. Any thread about immigration, slavery or pool cleaning must include an allegation of racism within 3 pages.

10. If you are conservative, pro-life, or voted for Bush and say so...be ready for the feeding frenzy. You will be ridiculed, gutted, filleted and hung out to dry... of course this may well all change at the speed of light

13. For your viewing pleasure, always have a mega bucket of Popcorn handy
for when the fight starts.

14. Smilies are there for those dummies who can't get words out ...
Keep their use to a minimum .. one a week ..is good ..

15. Avoid calling regular posters "Cliquey Tossers that jump on newbies" until you get to know them.

16. Any thread that starts out talking about politics or religion will end up talking about oral sex or masturbation. accept this

17. No Karma Whoring

18. No attention whoring

19. No ugly people that think they are attractive are allowed in the Lounge. Ugly people that acknowledge their lack of beauty are more than welcome.

20. If your post begins with "I know this has been posted before" don't post it... it has been posted before.

21. We know the food is different and you miss your pickled fizzle farts, and we know the censoring of cuss words in movies on TV is annoying, and we know there are a lot of religous nutters here..

22. The discussing of vaginal and anal discharges is not recommended

23. Mods can be bated to a certain extent, Don't push it.
Do not try this on Admin.

24. We have a photo gallery for your use, Comments will be made
good and bad...live with it.

25. You can have your own blog here, nobody will read it.

26. Premium membership gets rid of all those bleedin Ads ..well worth it

27. Somebody will help you with an avatar ..just ask.

28. If your unsure on anything ASK... We are just like you ..only better

29. Do not post porn in words or pics. Admin will hurt you ..

30. Ok ..this is written tongue in cheek and for fun ...but will keep you in the ballpark... happy and safe .....

bazzz

31. Don't take any notice of rules post by the self-appointed forum police. Do what you like. If it was bad people will let you know or your post will get deleted. Either way, it's no big deal.

bazzz

But while I'm at it:

32. We don't need to know about the bowel movements of your relatives.

mandymoochops

33. Beware of the one with the Keith Chegwin avatar. He may come across the wrong way sometimes but he's a big cuddly pussycat at heart

(waits for Bazzz to change his pic)

bazzz

34. If you're going to argue with someone, don't concentrate on putting together a well-thought out position with evidence to back yourself up. Just say something funny. No-one else really cares what you think anyway.

Novocastrian

35. Threads on block heaters, snow tyres, electric haircurlers, cell phones, lousy hairdressers and postmodernism are particularly unwelcome.

JonboyE

36. In any thread about any topic, if you are the first poster to mention the Nazis you have lost the argument.

37. If you criticize the spelling and/or grammar of another poster it is a very good idea to use a spelling and grammar checker on your own post before you click Submit Reply.

Pretty Flowers

38. The word "Norks" is banned in any and all circumstances

39. The username Krystal McDooDoo is already taken

Novocastrian

40(a) Don't be rude to Judy.
40(b) <reprise> Don't mess with dbd33, you won't win.
40(c) Mess with me all you like. I can take it.
40(d) Norks is a board approved term of endearment

G77

41. Don't refer to DBD33 as "notorious" it'll only encourage him

(oops, just broke rule 40b)

minihaha

# 41 .If your gonna post about people moving to another country and then start using there lingo wich gets right up your nose, you will get flamed....

Novocastrian

See Rule 37.

daft batty

You want someone to mess with you??? Dirty boy

See you at the Yard.....

Steve_P

Unless you can somehow manage to work them all into the same post and make it sound logical.

Novocastrian

That's quite a challenge. I'll have to drink a lot before taking it on.