Going Home
 

Hello! I am quite new to the site and have never posted before but thought our recent experience may help shed some light on a few things if you are thinking about moving to the Calgary area. We visited this area on holiday and loved it so worked really hard for 2 years to set up a job for my husband who is a mechanic and finally moved here a month ago from Scotland.

The place is lovely however we are finding everything so expensive! The cost of food is crazy, especially milk and cheese! Weekly papers provide details of the special offers in all of the local stores but who has time to shop in 5 different stores just to save some pennies!

Childcare is extortionate! We have 2 young kids and so far all of the enquiries we have made show that it is the norm for mum to stay home and look after the kids or for both parents to work all the hours to pay for a private nanny which can be about $2000 a month! Some childcare day homes have really long waiting lists and most pre-schools which would be the equivalent to nursery at home only provide 7 and a half hours care per week for $150-$200 a month.

We were under the impression that the working culture here allowed for a lot of family time however our experience so far shows that it's live to work here not work to live! I am aware that we have only been here a short time however it was apparent really quickly that we were much better off at home and we underestimated the support and childcare we had nearby.

Obviously this is a personal experience and we are fortunate enough to be in the position to go home.

Re: Going Home
 

Appears to be a serious case of homesickness to me. But that's okay, many immigrants suffer from it. I doubt you researched fully and properly the conditions here. Milk and cheese have always been more expensive than the UK. The general consensus from most other members is that it's basically an economic washout between Canada and UK. Good Luck on your return.

Re: Going Home
 

I agree with Plastic: if you've only been here a month and you're still at the comparing stage, it could just be homesickness and I'm sure culture shock. At first we think everything is wonderful about our new country, then the shock sets in and we compare the new place unfavourably to where we've come from. This is a recognized stage of culture shock.

You can go back or persevere and see if you settle. I am not saying those pangs of home sickness ever completely go completely: I find when I am in a negative space I do the comparing thing and of course the UK comes out on top.

Here's what the Government of Canada has to say about culture shock:

https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/livi.../culture-shock

I know they are writing about Canadians going to live abroad but the same applies to immigrants who come to live here.

S

Re: Going Home
 

Forum regulars, please sigh and just look away, you've seen this (my comments) before :)I can only speak from my experience but it's far from a few pennies saved and it really doesn't involve visiting five different stores, or even two, instead of one to make it worth it.

Curious, I just looked at Calgary on line flyers. Some different supermarkets to here, better if anything and I reckon to save 30%-40% by paying attention to the flyers.

We don't have our own transport so we're certainly not interested in going to different supermarkets each week.

The local Shoppers Drug Mart almost routinely has the cheapest bacon, cheese, butter, bread, coffee, pop, confectionery, toiletries and off the shelf meds (if you don't mind buying whatever brand is on offer) milk.

Because we are limited to returning from further afield with shopping, by taxi, we are careful about when and where we shop.

We mostly fit it in with something else someone in the house has to do like medical appointments, cinema trip, other shopping needs, other appointments, eating out, whatever. Only one of us works and she is close to a Superstore. If there's something too good to miss she pops in and gets home 30 minutes later. Just something like that means we don't have to make a trip or we make a different trip.

I'm retired. But if I worked most of the likely centres of employment would offer additional opportunities to get a good deal as well as save us from purely a grocery shopping trip.

When stuff is available at ridiculous prices (99c lb pork chop/hams or half price beef) buy and freeze. If one particular veg, say Broccoli, is half it's normal cost, buy it instead of the Cauli. Next time it's likely the other way round.

When the coffee is $5 off, buy two. You quickly get used to how often the deals come around and you can stock accordingly.

If you planned to get that joint of beef out the freezer for the weekend but somewhere has a Turkey for $10 or chicken is half price, buy it and save the beef for another day.

I have called at two different supermarkets on the same trip. By bike. If it's worth it and do-able within those limits it would be do-able by my own car.

Before we lived here we were in Quebec with the in-laws who did drive. Of the four obvious places to grocery shop, two were in the same mall and the other two were both on the way back home.

Because you have a list you actually spend less time inside the supermarket. You know where stuff is and you know what you're getting. If you are able to call at two it's likely to be half an hour targeted shopping in each rather than 45 minutes in one. That extra 15 minutes can save as much as $40 in every hundred.

It all quickly becomes second nature.

Re: Going Home
 

As others have said it is very normal to go through a homesick stage especially if you are used to having family close by which you relied on for support, childcare for example. Often it is made worse by having the 'grass is always greener' perspective which we have all had to a certain degree. The best thing to do is try and not compare Canada to the UK (I have just come out of this phase after 5 months and am a lot happier). Groceries on the whole are about even when you take into account stuff that is cheaper than the UK. Your slightly lucky in Alberta as you don't have provincial sales tax.

If you can try and stick with it for a little while longer and see if it improves. You husband is working but if you don't mind me asking are you? The reason I ask is my wife was terribly homesick when we lived abroad previously because she had little contact with anyone other than me (read into that what you want), but in moving to Canada she has got a job and been a lot happier (appreciate you have kids and so it may be a struggle).

Also agree with Bristol's comments that the easiest way to save money is to adapt your menus to what is on sale at a particular time. Freezers are a huge advantage.

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We find the cost of living here significantly cheaper than it was for us in the UK.

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Whilst certainly valid, the replies so far don't address the major issue as I see it - the cost of childcare. It is expensive, $800 a month for our 4 year old. So the choice comes down to either one parent works and the other is the childminder, or both work and go through the rigmarole of finding and paying for childcare.
If only the newspapers included flyers from nurseries offering 40% off! 😂

Re: Going Home
 

I remember some years ago, in London, our Nursery was charging us 1000GBP a month for 3 1/2 days a week. It was a nice Nursery with good ratios.

Re: Going Home
 

Child Care Programs & Services | YMCA Calgary
Preschool Care, Daycare - Magical Little Thinkers Preschool - South Calgary, Calgary
Tuition – Pre School, Daycare, Childcare In Calgary | Kids U
Calgary Daycare, Preschool, Childcare, Kindergarten Calgary AB

All the above seem to charge around $1300 a month for full time care...

I believe there's also a subsidy you can apply for. http://www.humanservices.alberta.ca/...ort/15104.html

Re: Going Home
 

Please don't go home just yet. Don't ever let anything defeat you. If you stay longer, tough it out, and then decide as a family to change your mind and go home, that's a decision, not a reaction.

You worked hard to get here, and the reasons that made you leave the UK are still very valid.

I would say that probably more than 80 per cent of us on here would have moved back to where we had come from, during the first month, had we had the chance.

Working practices are different here...lots of them are just talk though. I had a colleague who told me she always worked 60 hours a week. She arrived after me in the morning, left before me, and had long lunches....but in her own heroic story of herself she was sacrificing the time, as she was so much better than the 'rest of 'em!

Bristol is right, if you see it on special, buy it and eat it! One of the odd things we have talked about as a family, is how very seasonal we're eating...we can't get fresh green veggies here until theystart to grow, but they finally are and they will be with us.

Child care costs are extortionate the world over, except for a few mavericks rogue states! Having chilren is an enormously expensive hobby!

Please make this work for a little more than you have so far.

Very best of luck:thumbup:

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:goodpost: as always.

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If I recall, when my son first went into daycare it was about $1650 a month. That was downtown Toronto, in the same building my ex-wife worked in and it was a rather nice daycare. Others in the area were similarly priced though.

His commute in to Toronto was made amusing by an excellent GO CSA, who loved the little guy (C, we think you're great! :) ). However, kids being kids, the commute was not always fun, so we moved him to a Daycare closer to home (YMCA attached to a local elementary school). The cost did drop to around $1200 a month and then as he got older I believe it dropped further to $1080.

He's now in JK, and does have before and after care, again provided by YMCA, and the cost is again lower, looks to be around $480 a month for before and after school care.

I'm sure if you were to go to some unlicensed daycare it'd be cash in hand, and a lot cheaper, but then would you really want to potentially put your child at risk? I know I wouldn't.

I might complain about cheese prices now and then, but these days I don't tend to notice the price differences, ye gods, I think I've gone native :D

When I first came over I had a nice big safety net in that my employer stated I could return home without consequence if I really didn't like it, I'd still have a job to go back to. In addition, I could stay at my parents place while looking for somewhere else to live. This is something the vast majority don't have, so I was lucky.

I decided to really give the place a chance, and had in my mind I'd give it a year, see how I felt. the year came round, I felt pretty good, so gave it another year, and so on. That was back in 2003, and I'm still here, and have no plans to return to the UK, partly due to have a son here, but even before he appeared, I didn't really want to leave, and I do consider this my home now, I've put down some roots, and am planning on putting down more.

If you can stick it out a bit longer, I'd recommend it. In addition, perhaps another province might offer you something different. Rather than moving country, move province.

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Bucks_family thank you for your response and you're right, childcare is the biggest issue for us. We have a 4 year old and a 5month old so would require full-time care for both of them and many places won't take the little one until she is a year old. This doesn't leave many options if I want to remain working as I always have, unless we pay for a private nanny!

Re: Going Home
 

Thank you for your reply plastic. We are not suffering from homesickness and did carry out lots of research prior to coming out here. We have friends and family here who enjoy living here but they are happy to have one parent stay at home with the kids until they attend school. I'm afraid I enjoy working and would like to continue being a working mother however the childcare options are very limited, and expensive.

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Snowy thank you for your reply. As I have replied to plastic, we are not suffering from homesickness, or culture shock. We are making decisions based on the best care available for our 2 young children to also allow us both to work.

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I really wish you well but you seem to have made your mind already. You say that you researched well. Surely part of that would have been costing up childcare before you moved sticks over the ocean? Am I missing something here?:confused:

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Wow, 1 month... that has to be some kind of record doesn't it?

Would working part-time be an option for a few months until the youngest is old enough to be in daycare?

You'll find when they are of school age, it gets cheaper. No day care costs.

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If you have friends and family here, would having an arrangement with one/some of them for childcare (particularly if they are staying at home already with children) be an option?

Have you ascertained that you would be able to get a full time job without difficulty - or, as someone else suggested, would part-time work initially perhaps work?

It seems a shame to give up on what was your dream ..

:)

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I wish you the best, whatever happens, sincerely.

Only you & your family can decide what's best for you & yours, however I will echo OPs on the thread who have said 1 month is a quite (VERY) short time to make a comparison/decision.



is this your first overseas move?

Re: Going Home
 

:goodpost::goodpost:

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This could be changing with the Canada EU trade agreement.

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Childcare spaces are out there in Calgary if you really do your research - the number of kids at our daycare has recently dropped sharply due to a lot of parents who work in oil and gas being laid off. This is happening all over the City from what I've heard. If you were looking for a space this time last year there would have been a waiting list.

Average prices are around the $1,000 mark or more for a licensed daycare, and it does decrease a little bit as the kids get older. Registered dayhomes can be cheaper - I have heard of some that charge less than $1,000 but you need to ask around and get referrals and recommendations.

We currently pay around $450 per month for before and after school care with teacher training days and spring break thrown in for our school aged kid.

Live-in nannies are cheaper than paying for two kids in full time daycare and you might have the added plus of getting a bit of housework done in the bargain. Might be worth looking into this maybe?

We both work full time with two kids. We have no family here. We are very lucky as our employers don't make us feel guilty if we have to leave work to get sick kids - that's very important when looking for an employer for us immigrants - as you mentioned there isn't that support network you might get back home for child care support.

You are right about most daycares not taking kids until they are one year old - if you had worked here and paid into EI, then had a child you would have qualified for EI for a year which would have given you some money to live on until your child was one and you could then enrol them into daycare and go nd work full time.

As an interim until your oldest is one could you maybe find an evening or weekend job if you really want to work? It could give you some of that useful "Canadian work experience" which would stand you in good stead when you are ready to go full time. Maybe you could use the time until your child is one to do some more research, develop some contacts, join some community stuff and build up your network for when you do your job search proper? How confident are you that you could walk straight into a full time job in the field you are looking for - it might take some time to break through anyway. You could even use the time available to take a certificate or qualification in the area you want to work in so you have a Canadian piece of paper which might get you in a job quicker.

Its not easy but you do still have options and it is still quite early on in your adventure. If you can survive on one salary for the next seven months then you could use the time to build up your networks and do some more research on the ground. Good luck!

Re: Going Home
 

Surely you researched childcare costs before you came and weighed the pros and cons in that regard? You say your husband is a mechanic? If you are concerned that his wages are not as much as expected, it gets better as he learns how to do some of the stuff he's not had to do before, my OH is a mechanic and I do remember, him saying how much he had to learn during the first year.

Most regular posters on here know that we have really struggled during the last few years in respect of where we feel we should be, our struggles came much later than others - 5 or 6 years in. There is no way OH could command the equivalent wages in the UK to what he makes here and our cost of living therefore ends up being cheaper, cheese and milk included in that, it takes a while to stop comparing prices. I would say a month is ever so quick to throw in the towel. Best of luck.

Re: Going Home
 

Having cogitated a bit more on the topic, I have to say I'm quite flabbergasted/impressed at the idea of a family with young children moving transatlantic & both parents having full time jobs & need of (not previously arranged) childcare within one month.

When I came over (with young children), I don't think I knew which way was up for a good few months, let alone thought about ft work outside the home ;)

And before anyone gets antsy: in my prior (to Canada) international moves, I was the main breadwinner, & we'd agreed before moving that the other parent would stay home as long as it took to get the whole family settled/daycare sorted.

When I came to Canada, I spent nearly 2 years working on a p-t/freelance basis because childcare options at the time weren't brilliant/affordable/readily available. But we knew that before we came over.

Through happy coincidence/serendipity, I was then fortunate to be involved in the conception & implantation of government subsidised affordable daycare in my province.

I don't think it would have been any better/easier/cheaper in the Uk, then or now. My Dsis in the UK has recently had to delay her return to work after maternity leave because of finding childcare, & she'd been looking/planning for a year. My other Dsis in the UK could not have completed her studies & then worked without free childcare for quite a few years from the various grandparents.

I have young(er) relatives who moved to Calgary from Mtl a couple of years ago: one parent stayed/worked from home with the kids for over a year, before they found a good nanny-share. Again, they knew that would probably be necessary & planned for it.

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But with respect, that was quite some time ago! And you were in one of the priciest parts of the U.K., as evidenced by your nursery costs (ouch!). So I don't think you can assume that will still be the case these days. Most people that have moved recently seem to say it works out the same or Canada is more expensive.

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I compare from time to time, small-town, semi-rural Qc living costs with small town Northern England living costs. It's non-scientific (I swap data with my younger sister ;) ), but the basic COL is similar, with a slight advantage to small town UK.

I do know, anecdotal data from other relatives, that Calgary is expensive, compared to my budget, & compared to Mtl.

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I live in the outskirts of Manchester and childcare for my 2 children including the 15 hours free for my eldest is going to be over £15k per year. I have no family help with childcare here granted so Canadian childcare seems cheap to me!

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Fair play and totally understandable. Of course one could argue that maybe you didn't do enough research and it always takes time to settle (more than a month:lol:), but you probably just needed a reality check to maybe appreciate what you have back in Scotland.




If you can afford it now, there's no point sticking it out as others have said.
I also admire that you have the b.... to do it straight away.

Re: Going Home
 

Blooming 'eck! That's madness, our pre-school was £9 a session. Even the private nursery that my daughter was at is only £50 a day, so would be around £9k a year with the free hours. And I'm in one of the most expensive parts of the UK!

Beginning to think I'm in the wrong business judging from some of the childcare prices in this thread. :lol:

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Let's hope and pray.

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Sorry, has to quote our own post. My husband has forgotten already that we had to pay 1000 GBP per month when we were in UK. We were pleasantly surprised how cheap the childcare was when we moved to Canada. Thought I'll add it here for him. He obviously changed his perception now :)

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I'm shocked that a family would go through all the upheaval of moving to Canada and be thinking of leaving after only 1 month. I'm going to Canada in 5 weeks and I'll be there on a holiday/recce for almost a month!

Surely it would be better to explore the land a bit more, savour the experience and then if the feeling persist return home? Then at least your family will have had an enriching experience for the price of all he upheaval.

Re: Going Home
 

Maybe you chose the wrong City or the wrong Province - what made you choose Calgary?

Childcare is apparently very expensive - mine are grown up and in the UK (but still quite expensive!!) so can't compare.

Generally, cost of living apart from that I find to be slightly less in Canada.

The multiple supermarkets thing is a bit of a pain - you just have to get used to it, but we usually alternate between Save on Foods and Safeway. We avoid Superstore (which we call 'Death by Shopping') because of the bizarre and illogical store layout, unless we want something that the others don't sell.

We find we shop more at producer-owned food stores than we did in the UK, especially for things like proper bacon, decent sausages, some meat, salmon, nice bread etc, although that's partly because there are some really good ones reasonably near us (Hopcott, Bruce's and Lepps, for the info of locals!).

Milk and cheese are a bit pricey, but you get used to that.

For fruit and veg, take advantage of seasonal availability, which is more prevalent here, unless you want to be at the mercy of California and Mexico, for which price fluctuations are much more evident.

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Good for you, sounds like you're making the best decision for you and your family. :thumbup:

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Your first paragraph summed up my thoughts very neatly - I couldn't decide if I was amazed or impressed by the OPs plans either!
We have moved a few times between Scotland and England before coming to Canada nearly 6 years ago, all moves brought about by my OHs job changes, and each time we have taken the decision that I would not work for some time but devote my efforts to our family settling into the new area - exploring the local area, making friends, establishing contacts etc.
I was used to working full time in an interesting career before that, but something had to give and our children were still young enough to require care. It's challenging being in a new place or country, and can be lonely and boring at times so it's the OPs decision as to whether it's worthwhile in the long run to make what seem to be short term sacrifices now. Having said that, making the decision after a month seems fast but only they know the full impact.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

Re: Going Home
 

Thank you for all of your replies and 'insight', I appreciate it and do take on board some of the comments. But geez, I thought the purpose of these forums was to provide people in similar circumstances with support, not to mock or belittle. If my family and I decide to move back to the UK after a day, a week, a month or a year, that's entirely up to us and we will make the decision based on what is right for us.

I wasn't looking for approval from anyone to move home. We know what is good for our family and what will make us happy, if we know something is not right for us why delay the inevitable? I know many of you think it is far too soon, that's your opinion, but again it's our choice.

I have read a number of posts on here by people still in the UK and asking for information on living in the Calgary area so the reason for my initial post was just to make them aware that the cost of living is high.

I appreciate a number of people say they are better off here than in the UK, I find this hard to believe but I suppose that depends on occupation and what part of the UK you came from etc. I have spoken to a number of our neighbours, some Canadian and from other parts of Canada and some other expats, the consensus from them is that Alberta is one of the most expensive provinces to live in, with some of them saying they have travelled to other places for services such as dental care because it is so expensive.

I really admire those who have given up their jobs to look after the kids until school age, which here is obviously much later than in the UK but not everyone has this option. To all the people still in the UK and looking to move here, it is a beautiful country, lovely people and better weather most of the time, but turns out the grass is the same colour!!!

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It's not even an expensive nursery - £40 per day then 10% sibling discount and 15 hours free term time only. It stacks up with 2 kids in full time.

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Ah, two kids - I thought you meant for one! :lol:

It does get cheaper, believe me. Mine are in that lovely 'no childcare needed' phase, before they get expensive again as teenagers.

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I just reread your initial post and your impression about working life allowing for a lot of family time - I too have been surprised by the long hours people work here, often both parents, but my impression is that 'family time' is more appreciated here, and people seem to make every hour outside work count for more than I'm used to seeing in the UK. That's not a criticism of you or I - families around here seem to be very involved in evening activities, even teenagers 😉 then dash away to the cottage most summer weekends, which is often a long drive Friday and Sunday evening. It makes me feel quite weary at times! I'm more than happy just to chill out at home

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Yes I agree with you Twitcher and funnily enough we have made much more of the family time we have here, I can't help thinking though that this is largely to do with the weather being better than at home so more options available in the evenings!

Unfortunately the company my husband works for here has changed management and the new boss believes in working 60 hour weeks so our overall family time is now much less than we had and my husband doesn't want to miss our kids growing up because he's always at work!