its friday and here is my wee joke

A scotsman is working at a sewerage.its a warm day,so he takes off his jacket and drapes it over a handrail-where it slips off onto a vast tank of poo!
he is just about to dive in when his wee mate shouts ''Its nae guid tae do that,the jackets ruined'' he replies'' Aye, ah ken,but ma sandwiches are in the pocket

well people its friday and Im gonna be on the veeno hell Im a jock

Hi Kate,

One good turn deserves another, so:

David Beckham goes into a shop and picks up a thermos flask and says, 'what's this for'?
'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold' says the shopkeeper.
Beckham thinks this is good and buys it.
So at the next training session Beckham gets his flask out and one of his
Team mates says, 'what's that?’
'It's a thermos flask' says Beckham; 'it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'.
'What have you got in it then?' says his mate
'Two cups of coffee and a choc ice' says Becks.

Enjoy the Vino!

Simon

A Scotland football fan out walking his dog in a Glasgow street,comes across an old bottle from which a genie appears,offering the man a wish.the fan asks if his dog could win crufts national dog show,the genie looks at the flea bitten limping dog and replies ''Im not a miracle worker,think of another wish.The fan then asks can you make Scotland beat England 3-0? The genie Immediately says,let me have another look at your dog

Very good.

And just to show that the old ones' are the best:

I say, I say, I say
What's worn under a Scotsmans Kilt?
Nothing - it's all in perfect working order.

Thank you, thank you.

Simon

I had a peek under the scotsmans kilt one time it was big and hairy or was that the sporn

You are just a mucky puppy

nah I did look but I was only 4 and ma ma nearly took my head off