He can whisk you up to the top of the CN tower, and you can look down through that see-through glass, very scary :scared:

You took your time replying, how is the long weekend going so far?



[QUOTE=ukjo]

Long and boring!!! I can't beleive that we are here in the 21st century and the stores in Nova Scotia don't open on a Sunday or a holiday. I know that people need to spend time with their families but come on!!!!! Took the kids to the ebach this afternoon after them pleading to go. They dipped a toe in each (equals 3 toes) and screamed and ran back up the beach. That was it basically!!!! Going to the Uk in 11 weeks, so will be doing plenty of Sunday shopping to make up for it!!!

I know, we live in a 24hr world now, and some big cities still don't see the need to open for longer on weekends, what 's up with that? I miss london too, talk about a 24hr city, you can get what you want, even at 2-4 in the morning.

Lucky you, wish I was going too, am jealous now Should I give you a list of what to bring back for me?

I'm taking 6 suitcases with us and no doubt they will be filled to the brim with stuff. Also got the kids Christmas presents from their father to bring back with us so no doubt that will be a couple of cases!!!

Just out of curiosity (and if you don't feel like it, don't answer it) and no offence meant, but is your ex-husband so generous, or is he trying to buy his kids back to his side?

He may be an idiot but there's a lot of water gone under the bridge now. He still pays maintenance (although he can stop that at anytime but so far so good) I don't think he would dare try to buy them as phone calls are dying off now anyway and hasn't sent them an email since June. Tells you a lot about him really

As for the amount of suitcases, there's also his mother, his sister, her family and his brother and family so I'm sure you can see there will be plenty of stuff to bring back. Oh and add to that my parents, my brother and my cousins giving the kids presents.

That was a frank reply. Thanks.
Let's hope he forgets the fact that he pays maintenance...

Well in some ways it would be nice but thats me being selfish. If he doesnt pay then it will mean that he doesnt give a toss about his kids. If that happens then no matter what i think, they would most likely be devastated and I wouldnt want to see that happen to them.

As it is, today is Friday which is when they normally talk to him. We called him 2 weeks ago, he didn't call last week when he was supposed to so now I am left wondering what the hell to do this week. Do I call him as it is our week or do we wait to see if he makes up for his missed call last week? At the moment the kids havent even mentioned him and the other day my 8 year old daughter reaslised he hadnt called and told me she wasnt going to call him. What can I do??

Call as it is your week to do so, and you might get your answer as to why he didn't call last time, might be a genuine reason after all, or it could be bol**cks.

As we know, you can walk out at 2 o clock in the morning and still get a £5 card for £3:50 ( planet-talk ), from the local corner store.

Have you sat down and had a really touchy/feely talk with your kids about their dad? Do they really not care or is that just a front to hide the pain from you...because of everything you're going through (kids are very perspective as I'm sure you know).If the kids are at a age where they can understand and make that sort of decision - then I would go with it

Personally, as a female I wouldn't call the son of a ***** (I wouldn't give him the satisfaction) - but I would keep track of all the problems should there be any problems later on. But before I did any of that I would have made sure I had a very serious talk with the kids.....about what was going on.

I would also try darn hard to make sure that the maintenance payments were court ordered (if possible) so the ***** can't get out of his responsibilities - remember he's half responsible for the well-being of those kids....even if it 's only by maintenance - the guy doesn't deserve someone like you and the kids.....you're better off without him!!!!

Strong views I know......bu women always seem to get the raw end of the divorce deal and are the only ones that are really concerned about the welfare of the kids!!!!

There could be a whole new thread starting here, but anyway, there is an inch of truth in that, but some might argue this, till the cows come home. At the same time, there have been many cases where the woman has taken the guy to the cleaners. A few, Ivana Trump, Paul Gascoigne ( some of the kids not his ), et al

Yes I know this could be a whole new thread but I do know of a lot of other parents, whether male or female, in the same boat as I was when I came here. I know because I'm in touch with a lot of them through this site.

Firstly I have sat down with both the kids to ask them about their father. They are 8 and 6 and he left the family home when they were 2 and 4 so it is coming upto 4 years ago now. The youngest asked me a few months ago "Did dad used to live with us????", that's how much he remembers. As for the elder one she was a daddy's girl but now she's not bothered by him there or not. When they all talk (which I will add that when it is our turn to call I have to remind the kids and then keep bugging them to pick up the phone) it is rarely over 20 minutes for the both of them. He has a cheap phone company that I put him in touch with so it's not as though he is paying a fortune to call.

Secondly, fortunately the maintenance was drawn up in a court order when we first split up all those years ago. It is maintained in Canada after I went to a lawyer here to get it all drawn up. He agreed for the kids to come here with me as long as he unlimited contact by phone, letters and email to them and that we went back to the uk twice a year. We also offered to pay for his flight over once a year and offered for him to stay here with us using the basement as his own personal apartment. Believe it or not, this was the first and only offer we gave him. Even my lawyer in the Uk had to sit down when I told her what we were offering but I still stand by the fact that I wasn't going to give him or the courts the chance to knock us back. I sold up, he had his money from the sale of the house and we came here. Been here 8 months and already the contact is slowing up.

I don't think the kids are covering up anything to prevent me from the truth. We are all very close and I know they would tell me how they are feeling if they were remotely upset. Their schooling and personalities have come on ten fold since we arrived here so I know they aren't hurting inside.

Thirdly, I would just like to say (sorry willmore for this) that I don't think women always get the raw end of the deal atall in a divorce. Yes there are some bar stewards out there and he left me with nothing. He cleared out our account right down to the pennies so I couldn't pay any bills. I continued to work 30 hours a week, kids in childcare and after school club and never once asked my parents for money. I got my mortgage no problem once I explained the situation and got myself straight within 4 months. I continued to work for 3 years until I came here but fortunately was in a career which I loved and continue to do so. My ex is pig sick as he left me and laughed at me saying I would never amount to anything and never keep the house. I kept it, the kids never wanted for anything and had 7 trips to Canada within 3 years of him leaving. Now whose laughing???lol

Sorry to go off the topic of conversation but there are a lot of single mums and dads who come on here and I wanted to let them all know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

You know, your message brought tears to my eyes as I read it. You're one strong woman and you and the kids have done very well for yourselves. I'm very pleased and proud that you were able to be so successful despite everything that has happened to you......sometimes we get things thrown at us to make us stronger.

I hope you didn't take offense at what I said - I was just throwing out ideas to you as I work as a volunteer in a woman's transition house in Victoria and have seen mostly really terrible situations.

Congratulations to you again - hold your head up high and be proud!!!!! I only wish y ou continued success. You really have "your head together"!!!! I'm sure that when other women read your message it will give them the strength to continue in with their lives!!!!

Ukjo, I admire you for what you have been able to achieve. I don't think I could have reached the same if I was in a situation like yours. And I hope your succes will continue.

Thanks guys for saying that. It's comments like that that make it all worth while. I've always had the thought that no matter how s****y things are at any given time, there are always people in a far worse situation and I have nothing to complain about. I am here, the kids are here having a better life, I have the most fantastic husband, they have a great step dad and their "father" is missing it all. Oh well, life is s*** sometimes isn't it!!!!lol