Hi all those BC residents and in Particular those of you in Van and on VI,

I have heard a 'nasty' rumour that in prep for the 2010 winter olympics all the homeless from Van are to be 'exported' to VI. Does anybody know if this is
a) true
b) how the hell are the 'authourities' expecting the homeless to stay
c) have all Civil Liberties in BC been suspended?

Thanks Butch

Not the Island, but the Valley. Bus tickets are being provided to all those who volunteer to try their luck in another community. It's nothing new, it is done all the time. I issue the bus tickets on occasion.

It's not surprising to me. In Victoria during the Commonwealth Games, many homeless people received bus tickets outta town and the city miraculously found money to open a new shelter... away from downtown and the Games' evening festivities and where many homeless people actually hung out.

Not all homeless people abide.

They have all moved to Kelowna.

Rich people are using them as BBQ attendants, cabana boys, and garden attendants.

They are also useful in front impact testing for Albertan pickups, and for arrest resistance training for the local RCMP.

Some local policians are gaining credence by splashing around a few $k to promote interference and interventions by do gooders and harpies.

Meanwhile the local meth market gets ramped up to super size standard.

Rich.

I love your humour Rich. You are being funny arent you??? If not can you send me a few of the larger ones (I need to test the claims that my SUV is stronger than a truck)

Regrettably I can't oblige sir.

Handling of, contracting, making commercial gain from, or exporting of the homeless has been officially embargoed by the NDP. Only the neo-Cons of the valley will touch 'em for monetary gain (and I don't mean physically touch em, they wont be more more than ten yards distant if at all possible and only if heading in opposite direction).

Word has it, there'll be a mass cull organized soon if it carries on as-is. That will also return all the missing Wal-Mart carts back to the stores so the poor, working poor and the grubby shuffling underclass can shop once again in comfort. Wal-Mart has been complaining that sales of crap are down 5% due to a lack of carts. It has gotten so bad that the poor are taken to attacking the homeless for posession of Wal-Mart carts. Unfortunately after these tussles, no one is sure which is the homeless persons own artifacts and which is the recently-purchased Wal-Mart crap.

So, there are only so many cabana boys, garden tenders and BBQ attendants required even in the burgeoning economy that is K-Town. Old folks are surprisingly agile these days, I am told some can even tend their own BBQ's, and even the homeless cost a few bucks to maintain in their shabby condition.

If the embargo is ceased I'll be in touch soonest. Will you be paying shipping charges, if not I'll send them by Canadian Pacific, providing there isn't another spillage of toxic chemicals reported.

Rich.

[yup I been drinking beers again]



Rich.

I am more than willing to pay for next day delivery by UPS

Then I may rustle a few up for you if the embargo is lifted.
Would you like old-skool beardy weather-beaten tramps, yoof meth heads or scatterbrained psychiatric cases (age, miscellaneous) wearing bird cages on their heads ?

Today I spotted the perfect specimen, a young meth head wearing a wizard-cape like hoodie with a pom pom atop the head. He would have made a great BBQ attendant if you could keep him still long enough. Temazepam may help that one.

We'll await news of the embargo.

Rich.

A random selection would be fine. But I am quite interested in PomPom heads.

I'll bear that in mind for your order, last time I saw him he was waving his [invisible to me] magic wand at the crosswalk light in between weaving to and fro across it, teasing Albertans with his funky strutting.

Remarkably he looked like a young Bez from Happy Mondays, without the maracas. The walk as well, that was off pat, maybe a distant relative ?

He would work good in a HM tribute band ? I may negotiate a commission on this deal.

Rich.

Is that the guy who stands by the toilets at the farmers market?
You can see him every Saturday jumping up and down, arms by his sides, palms out looking upwards!
Sorry but I saw him first! The BBQ would look great if only the f****r would stand still long enough to clean it!

Homeless people in Denver get there because the authorities in California give them bus tickets. The Colorado authorities deal with them by issuing tickets to Detroit. Now, if we get the Michigan authorities to issue tickets to BC and the BC authorities tickets to California we can, atastroke!, solve the homeless problem (home will be a bus) and dramatically improve public transit in the west. Another example of a spin off from the Olympics benefitting the common man.

Nah he just be a local preacher man struck by the might of the Lord.

Rich.

Send them to France!

Only kidding!

Chomp

Have another piece of celery.
You Xenophobic\homophobic\misogynist\racist\vancouveri st.