NBJW

I'm sure people have asked this question many times before ,but I would like to hear people's experience and thoughts.

Here goes....

I have a positive lmo which my boss wants me to start asap. My wife and two children will be staying here until our house sells. I am excited ,but...Leaving the children for maybe upto 3 months is going to be HARD!.

I know its the right thing to do if we want to move.

Has anybody else who has any advice to give PLEASE tell me.

Nigel.

christmasoompa

I guess that I have ask the obvious question - why can your wife and children not go with you? Any particular reason why they have to stay?

Personally I couldn't leave my children for 3 months, and I know my hubby couldn't either, but ours are only 1 and 3 so I guess it might also depend on how old yours are?

Bit more info and I might be able to give you a vaguely useful opinion!!

Judy in Calgary

It is a very tough thing to do, but there are several members of this forum who have done it.

My husband and I also have done this type of thing in the past, when his employer has needed him at the new location right away, but I've stayed behind to let our kids finish the school term and also sort out the sale of our house and the shipping of our goods to the new destination.

I have never been the one who has gone ahead to the new location. I dare say that's challenging too in its own way. But I can say that being the one who stays behind is tough. But sometimes moving over at different times is the only feasible way to do it.
x

bazzz

But leaving the wife isn't? What have you got in mind for your 3-month stint in Canada, you dirty dog?

NBJW

Thanks for your replies!

The reason my wife is staying is that are house is up for sale and she dosent want to rent it out. We have another property for rent and she dosent want two!

Also we need the monies from the house to buy in Canada. We are going to give it 6 weeks then reduce, then 6 weeks then reduce and see what happens. My new boss is putting me up in a house and charging me $450 per month which includes..phone, cable tv, internet , heat & electric, washer & dryer.

My kids are 9 (boy) and girl (3), which I have just started to get close to the young one. I'm gonna miss them whatever.

My wife sees it as I go out and try it a while and see if its want I want, then when the house sells they all come out. Who knows I might not take to it!

NBJW

I am a plumber and the wage is slightly better than here. My boss is willing to train me the canadian way and dosent mind if it takes 6 months for me to take the plumbing exams. Also he wants to branch into the gas installation and maintenance, which I am qualified to do. Also I have family where I am going to live, so I could probably spend time there. I envisage its going to get lonely at nights!

If I dont go soon, my employer is going to have to hire someone,then we we are ready to go maybe he wont have a job for me? Then I wont be able to go at all. I would have to go through this all again...applying for jobs...going out there, you know all the usual stuff!

So any help or advice......Ultimatley I have to decide,but I dont want to sit there when I am older and wonder if .....?

clairemarie70

hi, we were in a simular dilemma, my OH got his LMO and within 2 weeks he left the uk...my house has been on the market since oct07....we decided that being apart for six weeks was way long enough to be away from the kids and i could still be in the uk if we hadnt decided to just leave the house to the estate agents and i joined my OH end of jan08..i wouldnt be happy that my OH left me with the kids and selling the house and all the stress that goes with that...i found it stressful enough selling everything in the house plus sorting out flights etc.

MrsDV

Hi,

My two kids (6 and 8) and I have been living in Scotland for the past year while my husband's been overseas, mostly Canada. I won't bore you with the reasons why but it wasn't what we would have chosen to do and, even when we did accept that was what was going to happen, we didn't think it would be for so long.

So, in the past year, my husband's been back 3 times and we've visited Calgary once. It has been really hard at times (on all of us) but we've survived and we'll all be together again later this month . We've spoken at least once a day on the phone and texted loads. I actually think, in some ways it's made us stronger as a family.

It's not easy, but nor is it the end of the world and three months will fly past.

Good luck.

MrsDV

achanginglife

My OH moved over before us (me and our 4 year old), because his new empoyer needed him to start. We were waiting for our house to sell, which in the end took, 4 months.

Good things about going on ahead, you can get a lot of the sorting out done before they arrive, look at areas to live, get a vehicle, make life a lot easier when your family gets there.
Staying behind is also hard because your wife is going to have to deal with hassling estate agents, packing up the house and organising the move.

I can't advise because for everyone its different but here are some questions to ask yourself...
Which is more important to you, starting you new life in Canada as quickly as possible or spending the next 3 months with your family?
What will you gain by going right now?
What will you gain by waiting to move all together?
Is it missing your family for a while or moving to the unknown on your own you fear the most?

How much do you want to go? Whatever the circumstances when you leave there will be dilemma's.
What happens if you sell your house and then decide its not for you? are you happy to move on in the UK?

Please let us know what you decide..
Good luck Louise

daft batty

There's one advantage to you coming out ahead. You will be able to help your wife settle in as you will know something about the city and area already so she will feel less battered by the newness of not knowing where to shop etc.

It will be school holidays soon, could your wife and kids come out for a few weeks while the house is on the market?

Biiiiink

Isn't your permit for a year - is it renewable? Have you got a PR app in? Is it worth the struggle/separation/house selling problems for only a year's guaranteed admission?

The Hampsons

Maybe you could use the wonders of something like SKYPE to keep in touch with the family back in the UK. I know it's not the same, but with webcams, they'll be able to see you as well as hear you. It may help soften the blow of being away from them.

NBJW

Thanks Hampsons.....

I was instructing my wife how to use it last night, funny you should mention!
I have booked my "one way single ticket" WOW that sounds scary!,last night.
My boss is going to pick me up from the airport, which is great because I have luggage, tools, GOLF CLUBS!, don't go anywhere without those!.


Cheers,

Nigel.

Jingsamichty

Good luck Nigel. The time will fly past, I promise.

Where are you headed?

daft batty

When do you arrive?? Give us a ring when you are here.