Deciding to go home..
 

I guess i'm just writing this to get it off my chest and see what everyone else has felt since leaving home.

I am originally from just outside glasgow, scotland.

I moved to vancouver, canada, a year after going to my brothers wedding here. He married a lovely canadian lady and they are settled here.

When i came here, i was so excited, so much hope, so much to look forward to.

After nearly 3 years here i have decided to leave. The last year of me being here i've felt so disconnected with here and there is one main reason, i find it so hard to meet people.

Almost impossible actually, to the point i'm unbearably bored.

In this time i have been lucky enough to meet an amazing canadian man, but in all honesty he's like one of the only people that i feel gets me here.

People are extremely stand offish, do not get the scottish sense of humour one bit.

I went home for 4 weeks for a holiday and after that ive decided to move back. I'm a little disheartened at the same time, i did think this would be a permanent move.

I guess when you immigrate, people think it will be all fun and rainbows but i have to say these past 18 months i've been up and down like a yoyo. Im really outgoing, chatty and ive never had problems meeting people. I just find it so hard here.

Now i've booked my flights to go back i am wishing these next 5 months to go in as fast as possible! I can't wait to be back in friendly glasgow, the working class city where people laugh and don't take themselves too seriously!

I guess i'm just writing this as a warning to people coming on their own to Vancouver. I can't speak for all of canada, but be assured that everyone here knows how hard it is to make friends, and it's well known for being a cold city.

If you're a kind of person who loves banter and making solid friendships, be aware it is hard here and takes alot of work.

All i have to say now is i'm exhausted in the attempts of hoping it will get better, but unfortunately it didn't.

Can't wait to get back to scotland :-)

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

Good luck with the move back! Sounds like Scotland is a much better fit for you.

3 years is a decent enough shot. You won't regret your experience in Van and no one can say you didn't try.

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

Flights for two?

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

A bit too general, your experience may not reflect those of others. I came alone and managed just fine. Made enough friends, traveled a lot, and Vancouver is not cold, the warmest city in Canada!

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

So has my brother, all down to personal experience! Not saying it's everyone's experience, just sharing mine ;)

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

Yes, Vancouver and the surrounding area is known to be unfriendly.

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

It is, by whom?

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

I'm due to go back to Vancouver in spring to be with my husband and I feel the same, although I was only in vancouver for 8 months, i too find some people unfriendly and they don't get the British sense of humour, there is no mixture of ethnicity. I find vancouver dull, depressing and boring, I'm not an outdoors sporty person in the slightest, apart from being fortunate to drive across the boarder into the states there is nothing I find exciting about vancouver.
On the other hand I've only been to Toronto twice (2 week trips) and I can say happily I enjoyed both trips very much and have tried to persuade my husband to look into moving there but he won't budge (the snow scares him), I love the hustle of downtown Toronto, reminds me so much of the UK and me personally I find the people there more friendly and there is a mixture of different ethnicities and cultures, more vibrant. Unfortunately my husband won't consider moving the the UK, I can only but keep trying to see if he will give Toronto a chance (thought he would jump at the idea seeing he's a maple leaf and blue jays fan)!

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

Aviator, you seem to get rather defensive. No one is saying that you have to think the same, but i have spoken to a good few people, especially outsiders who have found vancouver to be cold and unfriendly. It's great you don't feel the same, so i don't see why this post concerns you.

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

Thanks james!

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

I have to agree with you in many ways. I live in Vancouver and went to Toronto for the first time in September. What a blast! I loved it! But it's too flat (landscape) for my husband and we have teenagers who we have already moved once from the UK ... Mind you, I might not be writing this if I had visited in the depths of winter!

S

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

I find vancouver an amazing place to visit, tons to do. I have enjoyed the outdoor things I have done since being here, but one thing ruins that when you're doing it solo alot of the time.

I agree that cultures don't mix here, i find it very bizarre and cleeqy. I am not originally from Glasgow and when i moved near there, worked and socialised i found people just gelled more and had genuine interest in hanging out after work.

People are always too busy here, and working alot as it's so expensive.

I feel for you that the man ain't budging, you got to be happy too. I've learned that from sacrificing another year of my life trying to like vancouver for the sake of my boyfriend. Luckily he is very understanding and open to trying Scotland. He's seen how disconnected this city has made me. I hope you can work out a compromise x

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

A genralisation such asA personal opinion and maybe that of some acquaintances, but not all, or the majority perhaps of the population. Some folks coming here will fit in very well, I know of many expats who are settled just fine. It takes years to feel like home, for us 3 years and we were settling in, 10 years before we really felt like we belonged.

Balancing opinions help folks see that there are different experiences. As you posted a 'warning' one would think that was the point of the thread.

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

It does you're right but when you're saying stuff like 'your experience is too generalized' as if it's wrong.
And yes it is a warning to people who come on their OWN, based on what you have said, sounds like you came with someone. So no you don't know what it feels like to relocate to vancouver solo.

Re: Deciding to go home..
 

I agree with the three year thing for me too (before it started feeling anything like "home").

The problem for many expats is that they start to not feel "at home" anywhere. For me this is true now. So when I go back to the UK, I feel a bit out of place even though I miss it a lot at different points. Here, I feel unsettled at times and (as Aviator says) not quite like I belong.

Someone told me this is a recognised phenomenon in many who emigrate. It's called (something like) the third space (or place) or similar. I should research it I guess.

S