I've just seen the Day After Tomorrow - is life in Canada really like that?

Excuse me, but I've just had a brandy and babycham, so I'm a bit excited.

Does everyone get supplied with canoes when they land in Canada, or do you have to buy them? What about dog sleds? My little yorkie Puddles is keen, but I'm not sure how well she would get on with those rough sled dogs.

What's it like having no sunlight for six months a year? Don't the whale blubber candles make your house smell a bit?

I'm building myself an igloo from polystyrene blocks in my back garden in preparation for moving to Canada - my local fishmonger is going to try to get me some whalemeat so that I can adapt to the diet.

I've learned the Monty Python Lumberjack song (in both English & French) - do you think this will guarantee me a job?

How do you get a job as a mountie? I'm not really sure the red uniform will go with my eyes, but I'm willing to give it a try.

I've tried to get a English-Inuktitut dictionary in WH Smith, but it's bit difficult - do you know if you can get one at Amazon?

PM me if you can be of any help.

Yuk Yuks might hire you, check them out at:

http://www.yukyuks.com/

Just be sure to maintain that British stiff upper lip during your interview.

I think the Asylum may have a position for you too!

http://www.camh.net/

Or Canadian tyre.

IKEA sells cheap easy to assemble Igloos so don't worry.

There's been a mad whale scare here recently so I would try and get some good sealmeat (preferably non-farmed) if I was you.

Hope this helps.

Good Luck!

thanks for giving me a giggle after the dour scot's gloomy postings!!!

Morw

Stop calling me gloomy, or I'll go back into retirement