Caimas

I think it was the 'moving to mars' that inflamed TT perhaps? I have to say it it sounded a little provocative and if it was directed at me, can understand some sort of reaction. However, as I am not 'involved' in this thread and can be a little more objective, I do agree with various poster's comments with regards to leaving family. It sounds to me that those already in Canada are suggesting those of us still in the U.K to be realistic. They have successfully stayed in Canada but no doubt experienced the down sides of emigration.

For anyone considering moving country, please don't under estimate the strength of feeling you will no doubt experience if you are close to extended family/friends. Emigration is one of those life experiences that no matter how much you anticipate being prepared for it emotionally; it can knock you for six - and then some!!! In my experience, women in particular have been more prone to people/home sickness than their male counterparts. (Please note the my experience bit!)

The people I know who have migrated successfully have been able to forge a different way of keeping family close to their hearts & 'hardened' their hearts to the distance. I would definitely recommend thinking very long & hard though, if you are close to siblings etc. and they play an active part in your day-to-day lives in the U.K.

blackcomb1

That applies to me too, I don't miss the UK at all, here is far far better in so many ways, of course you have to be broad minded to appreciate it fully.

blackcomb1

On the contrary, that comment about mars would not have offended me in the least, I see it for how it was, it is not offensive it was straight to the point.

I think it is more to do with personality how that got taken, the wrong way.

I also agree, if you can't make up your mind and family means so much and you can't see how a simple aeroplane flight and email, phone contact still keeps you very much in touch, then maybe you best stay in the U.K. If you take things badly as you have on here it won't go down well over here anyway, sorry to have to point that one out.

Try not to take things on here the wrong way when others are trying to help and advise, maybe try looking at responses positively first rather than negatively in the first instance, as helpful advice may be given in the above way just to make it more clear of how it is. Otherwise, it can give us Brits a bad name. Canadians, we are not all like that I hope you realize, as in, too sensitive. I would say try to be more respectful, and if you feel offended, maybe send a pm rather than react publicly. The rules of this forum may be a good place to start and reminder.

And I hasten to add, being well traveled and broad minded as a result, as traveling does that for you, I have no regrets what so ever and made friends here easily, the sports life is phenomenal and all very outdoors orientated so if you are into that you are in heaven over here. I have no desire ever in the future to ever move back to the UK, moving here was the sure best thing I ever did. My friends and family too see it as a bonus and a place to visit for a holiday, if anything it has expanded their outlook not narrowed or restricted it. They've loved their visits here. The longer you live here the more you tend to like it too. Important to remember though when you move to another Country or visit, you are fitting in with their culture, norms, ways and rules legally speaking, so try to respect and remember that. I know it is double standards when we look at our own country and how we seem to be treated 2nd at times to other visitors in ours. But if you fail to understand that you will find yourself having a sure hard time fitting in. It is easy really..

Be nice.

Great people, great culture, great outdoors life, the Canadians have it right.

Novocastrian

Nor to me. Just to provide a little perspective, these days with cheap phone calls (or even cheaper Skype), t'interwebby and (relatively) affordable transatlantic flights you are definitely not moving to Mars.

By contrast, when we first left the UK to live in California (1977) a three minute phone call to the UK cost $13, or 0.1% of my annual salary at the time. We wrote letters (remember them?) to family and friends.

thesidds

I have no desire to get into this personal c**p!
Just wanted to say that I too feel very very frightened about leaving family and friends behind. My parents see us and our boys at least twice a week, however my folks are away a lot so we are farley used to longish periods of seperation. I feel incredibly guilty leaving my sister behind, she is recently devorced and could probably do with my support, rather than me being totally wrapped up in our immigration plans
But as previous poster have said communication is incredible these days When i lived in New Jersy when I was 19 it was airmail letters and tape recordings.
Who knows wether I'll cope I just know that if I don't give it a go I'll always wonder "what if", plus for me it's all about the kids and thier future

Flogger

Hi Blackwasname and welcome to BE
How are you ?How you getting on? Whats your story? When did you move over?
Oh so much to tell so little time..

Great 3rd post BTW,Quite right.

blackcomb1

Heh!

"Thank you Flogger", for your welcome, that was very nice of you.

How I came to move here:

I moved here on a work permit after a solid 4 yrs of decision making before I made up my mind, yes I did think it through, I also visited Ontario staying with friends (now a 2nd family to me) after helping her via a work bully website on giving her the tools of how to deal with it, and it got dealt with effectively, I'd just finished my dissertation on that subject so felt obliged to help her. Anyway that is what came of that. I also looked at a job there who wanted me to relocate to work with them at Kingston University town, however, my friends could see how sporty I am and told me Vancouver is for me, so Vancouver was where I went for my next holiday and to sit an exam in conjunction with my job, ski Whistler and enjoy a lodge up there for a week.

I had such a great time and my friend was quite right, Vancouver was for me. I then made up my mind about 2 more years later (4 yrs in total to make up my mind), and here I am with not one regret.

I went back to the UK last month for a month to visit friends and family, I soon got bored after having caught up with them all, and could not readjust having got used to the great friendly and sporty life over here, it is so friendly too, I could not wait to get back to Canada.

I am happy to say, I made 100% the right decision and have absolutely no regrets. I do miss my friends in Ottawa though. Also it is the same flight time to Ontario from the UK, as it is from Ontario to Vancouver (just to make others who don't yet know that in the UK aware). I also like the road trips, I went on one last Spring to the West Coast, Oregon Seaside town where I made more friends, onto Smith Rock in Bend for 2 days rock climbing where I made another friend (I did climb with him for 11 hrs per day), and on to Idaho heading to Banff, Canmore, Lake Louise, Jasper, Kamloops and back to Vancouver.

My first year here was exciting but also the hardest as the contract and offer I had involved no leave for a year and working shifts 2 days 2 nights and 5 days off, I got tired quite fast near the end of that first year, burned out by the time I could have leave and sadly that was when my family visited me too, so they were full of energy and I wanted to lie in bed as I was ill with flu, though I am sure I would not have been had my body not run down and as a result my immunity with it. I have not looked back since I left that job 1.5 yrs after I began working there. Life is better in that respect now, but the bonus was I got my permanent residence after 8 months of moving here.

I love visiting the US and all it has to offer, but the food is no where near as good as Canada, so I always look forward to getting back here again for a good meal
ha ha.

By the way Jasper and Banff get my vote as the next and best places to live outside of Vancouver.

I have not yet visited Nelson mind, and I have heard great things about Nelson and alot of my friends, Canadians love that as their favourite place, so visiting Nelson is a must for me.

Kaye.

For all the lovely people who actually read my thread and gave me advice, thank you.

It's sad that people cannot come on here and ask experienced ex pats for a bit of help without an argument breaking out.

To the person who suggested that I slow down and wait until we have done our recce trip, thanks.. I will do just that.
Also to the person who suggested limiting "family time" to see how I cope, thanks to you too... after our recce trip I will spend a month away from my family and see how I get on with just one or two phone calls a week.

Thank you to Iaink for intervening and stopping the argument in it's tracks.

I'm just going to relax and enjoy my "Canada research", and stop panicking when for all I know we might go on the recce trip and decide Canada just isn't for us.

Thanks again

burton bunch

Hi Kaye

I think that most of us felt like this at sometime or other.

I am an only one so it was doubly hard I think for me and my mom - lots of initial arguments etc which soon died down etc but difficult all the same.

It is hard I wont deny but what I will say is that your relationship with friends and family takes on a different level of closeness and although you will always miss them in a way their strength of backing your decision to do something different with your life eases that "loss".

Get the recce donw - see if there are any expats in any of the areas you will be visiting or passing through and sit and chat face to face with those people and then see how you feel. Chances are you will have been bitten by the bug to come and try it for yourself.

Gaynor

Kaye.

Thank you Gaynor for your sensible advice.

My family are being a bit funny about it all, my younger brother is angry, my sister says she would do it if she had the chance, my older brother says he wouldn't ever visit as doesn't like flying for long periods, my dad refuses to comment, and my mum has gone through different phases from saying we're being selfish to wondering what Canada has to offer that Britain doesn't.

We don't really get on with my husbands parents, so not bothered about leaving them behind... worst nightmare in fact is that they say they're coming too

Nearer to the time of our recce trip I'll try to arrange some meet ups with other ex pats, thanks again for the advice.
Kaye

p.s - does this mean I am now allowed to reply to other peoples threads, or am I still too "new" and may be classed as a troll

burton bunch

Kaye

You can reply all you want

I also posted something when I had been here a year about how I had found it all and then today I posted a more update thread - just on the blue link so that you can read it . I hope that it wil give you an insight to how things were for me and how they have developed up to date.

Think you have to be able to take the rough with the smooth in life and hopefully this post will be a down to earth read for you.

All the very best

gay
x

Piff Poff

It seems really argumentative on here at the moment. Hopefully you'll be able to see the wood through the trees though

dboy

Well said. About 3 years ago i went through a rough patch - got divorced etc - Out of misguided nostalgia and loneliness i head back to Blighty for an extended visit, toying with the idea of moving back. After a couple of nights at the pub, getting caught up on corrie and a fish supper - i realized England (manchester) had nothing left for me. I missed Vancouver terribly and could n't wait to get back (weird).

After 16 years in Vancouver I can safely say it was the best move for me. It truly is a remarkable place, despite what people say about the rain. Lifestyle here is light years beyond the UK.

Moving is a huge undertaking frought with ups and downs. However, you have to weather the storm. I've read posts on here where people head back after only a few months - too bad - upset about the weather and no friends. The reality is if you miss your mum, have no job and no friends - of course it will suck anywhere will.

Good luck

dboy

[QUOTE=blackcomb1;7227141]Heh!

I also like the road trips, I went on one last Spring to the West Coast, Oregon Seaside town where I made more friends


Hi, are you referring to Seaside Oregon? I was there last summer on a roddie. What an odd little place. Reminded me of a british seaside town with the amusement arcades and the prom.

We drove from Vancouver down to Eugene (my OH sister leaves there). Cannon beach was great. We were going to drive all the way to San Fran but ended up hanging in Eugene for a week. I forget the names of half the places we stopped at.

It truly is a great place.

jericho

My wife was in exactly the same boat (we arrived in August). She used to see her sisters & mum everyday. We have 2 young girls and always had family & friends round.
My wife is coping fine. Yes, we both miss family etc, but we skype them at least once a week, wifeys mum n sis have already been over, plan to come back again in July, and you soon get used to not having them on your doorstep.

We came to Canada because we thought it would be a nice place for our girls to grow up- there was both the pull and push effect- we definitely didnt want them to grow up in Manchester. Family or no family, that wasnt going to change. You have to decide why you want to leave Scotland, because that's pretty important when it comes to missing family. If you're happy where you are, you're always gonna miss it. One of the nice things about seeing family less frequent is that it makes those occasions mean more. For instance, next time we have family, we'll be making a big effort to do stuff like camping, going to the mountains, seeing the local attractions/festivals etc... ie/ stuff we probably wouldnt have done back home.

Like you say, everyone misses friends and family so it really depends on why you want to leave....