gigglegirl1979

I know this is a decision we have to make ourselves, but we're soo indecisive and need advice from experienced people.

I am a Canadian and my husband is British. For a long time, we wanted to move back to Canada and applied for PR for him. We got it - it finally arrived!

BUT he also had a job interview over the phone yesterday and might potentially be offered a good position with the 'City' in his field... however...

I have just got a promotion here in the UK and am a teacher and There's NO WORK for teachers in Canada... so now we're not sure.

We both have good salaries here and a lovely home on the ISle of Wight... I missed my family for a long time, but now I just don't know...

Thing is - I have NO friends here. not one outside of work. My life in CAnada was so social and I really miss that.

I know... I know... WE have to make the decision, but we're interested in your thoughts...

dgagitw

Some random observations. No idea what your husband does, but if it's something that he can do in the City (assume City of London), odds are he can do it in Toronto too, albeit for a bit less money. For you though, what's more valuable to you, your work or your social life? (no implied correct answer there btw!).

From what I understand, it's not entirely impossible to break into teaching in Canada, it just takes some persistance. There are a number of british teachers at my son's school for example, so it can be done.

christmasoompa

Hi, and welcome to BE.

If your husband has a good job offer in the UK, then why not stay put for a while and see how things pan out? Now he's got his PR you can always change your mind at a later date if you do decide Canada is the place for you.

That's what I'd do anyway if you are happy and settled and don't want the worry of both of you trying to find work in Canada (particularly with you as a teacher). The friends issue may be sorted by a move to a new area or joining a club or two maybe?

Good luck, whatever you decide.

gigglegirl1979

Sorry - I wasn't clear. He and I both have good jobs here in the UK, but he had a job interview yesterday for 'The city' in Canada... a small Northern Community where I grew up...

The thought of going back makes me feel sick and the thought of staying makes me feel sick...

LOL

christmasoompa

Ah, I thought you meant 'The City' i.e. financial district of London!

In which case, I have no idea what I'd do in your situation, I thought you'd both be looking for work in Canada. Sorry, not much help I know.

iaink

If you move here then you will both have to start building those social ties again... the friends you miss were probably the result of shared experiences growing up or in college, those sorts of bonds are hard to replace, and it may be hard to pick up where you left as water has flowed under the bridge since then and peoples lives move on regardless.

I guess my point is, it sounds like you have a decent life. The danger of relocating is that you will both be in the same boat then regarding social connection, back at square one, and unfortunately, one or other of you is always going to be away from family, no matter which side of the atlantic you end up. Its hard, but thats the hand you were dealt.

MarylandNed

FWIW, I think you have to want to move MORE than you want to stay. If that's not the case, why move?

Almost Canadian

At this time of year, I would prefer Sandown beach over anything Canada has to offer. But then, I am a Caulkhead

el_richo

Is that pronounced the way i hope it is?

<Ramble>

To the OP. History shouldn't be a guage of the future when it comes to your life. Remember your past with fondness but whatever you do, don't try to regain or replicate the life you had because it most likely doesn't exist anymore. Whether that's due to changes in circumstance, environment, friends, or as is probably the most common change, yourself.

Where would you prefer to live with little to no social life, just you and your other half? Where you are now, or back in Canada? Is the answer the same for you both or is it different? If the same, go with that. If different, no matter where you move you may have the emotional issues you face now.

My (Canadian) wife and I had a great life in the UK. We had a nice social life and were close enough to my family. We decided on a change of scenery, to test the waters of living together in Canada. She transfered work to Canada as did i, both doing very similar things. We now have a nice social life and are close enough to her family.

What changed?

• Literally the scenery.

Are we happy?

• We always were, and we still very much are.

What worked for us?

• We didn't come chasing something. We didn't run from anything. We made the most of everything we had in the UK and we continue to do the same in Canada.

Will you find what you're looking for?

• Who knows until you try. The problem is, if you try and it doesn't work, it's a finacially, emotionally, and time consuming exercise.

It seems many people on here try to force a "better" life by moving, and that often seems to not work. I'm a big believer in a life changing decision has to FEEL right. There's a huge difference in it feeling right and being forced to feel right.

Good luck

</Ramble>

Animal

iaink

Aye, hes on fire today isnt he

feelbritish

Wow jobs are hard to come by on the Isle of Wight so you are lucky . What a place to be! I think you now have 5 years before you have to come back why not come over for a holiday in summer (to compare) and join some groups and activities where you are to make friends. When I first moved to England I invited the neighbours around for Christmas drinks and snacks and introduced both neighbours on either side of me to each other! No one had ever done that before and it was successful. Why not throw open a Canadian Day July 1st BBQ and invite everyone you know!

christmasoompa

No time restraints from a visa point of view, but not sure if you're referring to something else?

el_richo

Since she's Canadian and her other half is now PR, there is no time limit. They can stay in the UK for 30yrs if they want and still be able to come over as PR and wife

Edit: Just see Oompas reply :-D

Atlantic Xpat

To echo others....

What you had in a social circle before you moved away from Canada likely doesn`t exist in the same form anymore. People move on. People move away. Things change.

My wife is Canadian. One of the reasons she wanted to move back from the UK was for family. Well the family grew up, seperated, one died, two moved away etc etc. So what she left in 2000 wasn`t what she came back to in 2005 let alone what she has in 2012.

So don`t focus on what you had focus on what you have or can have.

Teaching jobs are difficult if not impossible to come by. My wife is a teacher. Canadian trained and qualified. It took her 6 years to break into permanent, tenured teaching.

With two good jobs in the UK & living in a nice place, I`d tend to focus my efforts on making friends locally, enjoying life and maybe visiting Canada in my long (er than you`ll get in Canada) holidays.

Best of British & Canadian luck in whatever you go for.

AX