MikeUK

It’s just that people change their minds when reality get close…
And in my opinion Canada a good place and I can see its benefits, but if it was me ( in the child’s shoes) they’d never be good enough to justify losing a parent..no matter how hard you try to spin it

snowcandy

In an ideal world no....but as we don't know or wish to know the sensitive background to this case we can only make assumptions and put forward our points of view based on our own experience.

Not every parent puts their child first and that is a sad fact of life these days. I think the OP is probably feeling pretty p'd off with her ex's behaviour having given consent and now at the last minute changing his mind and messing up their plans for a new life.

MikeUK

He agreed... once... now he doesn't.....But regardless of the parents opinions

Canada v's the UK puts a huge geographic physical wedge in place
One that makes any possibility of the child having any chance of a relationship with the other parent pretty slim, even when the child gets old enough to make their own decision, travel across the Atlantic isn’t easy and it isn’t cheap..

Oink

Often that's the mother's intention for moving away. They want to set up another family without being reminded of the previous relationship.

MikeUK

is he messing up their plans for a new life or messing up his ex-wife plans for a new life... ?

And let’s be honest if the background is sensitive, then pushing this around an internet forum is hardly wise, as its the home of many opposing opinions..

And she might be p’d off with his change of mind, but maybe he changed for the right reasons, in which case she’s not really entitled to be p’d off IMHO, as moving a child that far away from the other parent s hardly the right thing to do in the first place

helcat12

The opportunities for a child having a relationship with their parent is entirely dictated by the parent and this father agreed to a situation involving everything you have just stated and more.

I have no idea what would make any parent agree to that if they wanted a relationship with their child, but the reality is that a significant number of parents choose not to have any relationship with their offspring.


He may be one of those fathers and you may be defending rights he doesn't care to exercise or he might have just made a mistake and genuinely just thought it was never going to happen when he agreed to it initially.

Either way, the courts will have to decide now as the parents have obviously reached a position in which they cannot work it out for themselves.

fletcher m

Try this for an option, is his dad prepared to have the child? She should go anyway to canada and perhaps the son will follow, especially once the boy knows that his dad prevented him going wih his mum. Get him on the PR and land him, let time settle the issue and he has until he is 21 to decide.

MikeUK

It’s often a shock when you total underestimate the other player and find you made a promise you can't bring yourself to honor..

Even so why would you think moving continent in these circumstances could be in anyway better for the child?
I don’t see the benefits of Canada offsetting the loss of a parent

Former Lancastrian

Arent the last few posts bordering on what I said previously

Note we never learnt the age of the child concerned so should a child get a say in these proceedings?
Unfortunately parents will use children as pawns in divorce/custody type proceedings and we are only hearing the OP's side of the story.
Yes if he initially agreed to the move then withdrew his consent then why was it withdrawn.
Obviously the OP will make a decision and we may never know what will happen.

Oink

An award for the most blatantly tautological post of the year, so far.

fletcher m

You what? I think i need to look at a forum based on trucks and Ammo. I might be able to follow that.

iaink

My wife would have quite gladly have grown up 3000 miles from her abusive father. Sadly she didnt have that opportunity.

As I said a lot of speculation here without all the facts to hand. I say let the courts be the judge the pros and cons.

Oink

I wonder, given our experiences and some hastily complied data, that there might be some extra cash to be made as a consultant to either party on the merits or folly of emigrating to Canada. Could be a nice little earner.

MikeUK

Yep….. but this was raised in an internet forum.. not a court


So we get to play, defense, prosecution, judge and jury with the facts provided
knowing that in the long run a proficient judge with all the facts will make in all probability the right decision anyway

Former Lancastrian

Conflict of interest for me unfortunately