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Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by iaink
(Post 9905844)
He was asked and agreed, if I read that earlier post correctly....
Originally Posted by Karen-47
(Post 9904933)
The problem I have is that we are at the end of the process now, basically just waiting for our PR Visas and my sons's father has decided to change his mind and withdraw his consent for me to take him to Canada. .
And in my opinion Canada a good place and I can see its benefits, but if it was me ( in the child’s shoes) they’d never be good enough to justify losing a parent..no matter how hard you try to spin it |
Re: Canada or the UK?
:frown:
Originally Posted by MikeUK
(Post 9905836)
But removing the child from its father isn't fair either..
IMHO having a child puts constraints on what you can do going forward, and bugger the parents wishes and dreams, knowing who both your parents are is going to be important to the child, regards of how good or bad the other parent think it will be… Not every parent puts their child first and that is a sad fact of life these days. I think the OP is probably feeling pretty p'd off with her ex's behaviour having given consent and now at the last minute changing his mind and messing up their plans for a new life. :frown: |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by helcat12
(Post 9905858)
Also true, but the father AGREED to this move. He wasn't having anything unfair done to him because he agreed to it!
Split parents often find it impossible to even be civil to one another ….. ….snip…………… What the reality is in this case we don't know but there certainly is a difference in opinion between what the mother and father want for the child. Mum wants Canada, Dad wants UK. Up to the judge... Canada v's the UK puts a huge geographic physical wedge in place One that makes any possibility of the child having any chance of a relationship with the other parent pretty slim, even when the child gets old enough to make their own decision, travel across the Atlantic isn’t easy and it isn’t cheap.. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by MikeUK
(Post 9905891)
He agreed... once... now he doesn't.....But regardless of the parents opinions
Canada v's the UK puts a huge geographic physical wedge in place One that makes any possibility of the child having any chance of a relationship with the other parent pretty slim, even when the child gets old enough to make their own decision, travel across the Atlantic isn’t easy and it isn’t cheap.. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by snowcandy
(Post 9905875)
:frown:
In an ideal world no....but as we don't know or wish to know the sensitive background to this case we can only make assumptions and put forward our points of view based on our own experience. Not every parent puts their child first and that is a sad fact of life these days. I think the OP is probably feeling pretty p'd off with her ex's behaviour having given consent and now at the last minute changing his mind and messing up their plans for a new life. :frown: And let’s be honest if the background is sensitive, then pushing this around an internet forum is hardly wise, as its the home of many opposing opinions.. And she might be p’d off with his change of mind, but maybe he changed for the right reasons, in which case she’s not really entitled to be p’d off IMHO, as moving a child that far away from the other parent s hardly the right thing to do in the first place |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by MikeUK
(Post 9905891)
He agreed... once... now he doesn't.....But regardless of the parents opinions
Canada v's the UK puts a huge geographic physical wedge in place One that makes any possibility of the child having any chance of a relationship with the other parent pretty slim, even when the child gets old enough to make their own decision, travel across the Atlantic isn’t easy and it isn’t cheap.. I have no idea what would make any parent agree to that if they wanted a relationship with their child, but the reality is that a significant number of parents choose not to have any relationship with their offspring. He may be one of those fathers and you may be defending rights he doesn't care to exercise or he might have just made a mistake and genuinely just thought it was never going to happen when he agreed to it initially. Either way, the courts will have to decide now as the parents have obviously reached a position in which they cannot work it out for themselves. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Try this for an option, is his dad prepared to have the child? She should go anyway to canada and perhaps the son will follow, especially once the boy knows that his dad prevented him going wih his mum. Get him on the PR and land him, let time settle the issue and he has until he is 21 to decide.
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Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by helcat12
(Post 9905906)
or he might have just made a mistake and genuinely just thought it was never going to happen when he agreed to it initially.
Either way, the courts will have to decide now as the parents have obviously reached a position in which they cannot work it out for themselves. It’s often a shock when you total underestimate the other player and find you made a promise you can't bring yourself to honor.. Even so why would you think moving continent in these circumstances could be in anyway better for the child? I don’t see the benefits of Canada offsetting the loss of a parent |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Arent the last few posts bordering on what I said previously
Note we never learnt the age of the child concerned so should a child get a say in these proceedings? Unfortunately parents will use children as pawns in divorce/custody type proceedings and we are only hearing the OP's side of the story. Yes if he initially agreed to the move then withdrew his consent then why was it withdrawn. Obviously the OP will make a decision and we may never know what will happen. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian
(Post 9905923)
Arent the last few posts bordering on what I said previously
Note we never learnt the age of the child concerned so should a child get a say in these proceedings? Unfortunately parents will use children as pawns in divorce/custody type proceedings and we are only hearing the OP's side of the story. Yes if he initially agreed to the move then withdrew his consent then why was it withdrawn. Obviously the OP will make a decision and we may never know what will happen. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 9905931)
An award for the most blatantly tautological post of the year, so far. :rofl:
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Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by MikeUK
(Post 9905919)
I don’t see the benefits of Canada offsetting the loss of a parent
As I said a lot of speculation here without all the facts to hand. I say let the courts be the judge the pros and cons. |
Re: Canada or the UK?
I wonder, given our experiences and some hastily complied data, that there might be some extra cash to be made as a consultant to either party on the merits or folly of emigrating to Canada. Could be a nice little earner.
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Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by iaink
(Post 9905941)
My wife would have quite gladly have grown up 3000 miles from her abusive father. Sadly she didnt have that opportunity.
As I said a lot of speculation here without all the facts to hand. I say let the courts be the judge the pros and cons. So we get to play, defense, prosecution, judge and jury with the facts provided knowing that in the long run a proficient judge with all the facts will make in all probability the right decision anyway |
Re: Canada or the UK?
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 9905947)
I wonder, given our experiences and some hastily complied data, that there might be some extra cash to be made as a consultant to either party on the merits or folly of emigrating to Canada. Could be a nice little earner.
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