Canada or the UK?
Feb 16th 2012, 5:07 am
#32
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Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,023
Re: Canada or the UK?
I am wondering why, if this man was so keen to have regular visiting rights to his son, he would have given consent to this in the first place?
What grounds is he giving for withdrawing his consent now?
Has anything about the arrangements changed?
Surely the courts would take into account that the father originally agreed to the move and take the view that this is just obstructive behaviour on his part to disrupt the plans of his ex?
I am not doubting in any way that a father has a right to block such a move if they want to but to agree until the very last gasp like this and then change his mind now makes me suspect his motives are not purely in the interests of his son or even anything to do with his child and that he could just be acting spitefully.
How much has the father had to do with his child so far?
Has he been reliable and diligent in his care of your son on the visits he has had previously?
Is he financially stable?
Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?
Maybe if he has not been acting in the best interests of the child before by being obstructive in his dealings with you regarding your son, then the court might take that into account.
What grounds is he giving for withdrawing his consent now?
Has anything about the arrangements changed?
Surely the courts would take into account that the father originally agreed to the move and take the view that this is just obstructive behaviour on his part to disrupt the plans of his ex?
I am not doubting in any way that a father has a right to block such a move if they want to but to agree until the very last gasp like this and then change his mind now makes me suspect his motives are not purely in the interests of his son or even anything to do with his child and that he could just be acting spitefully.
How much has the father had to do with his child so far?
Has he been reliable and diligent in his care of your son on the visits he has had previously?
Is he financially stable?
Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?
Maybe if he has not been acting in the best interests of the child before by being obstructive in his dealings with you regarding your son, then the court might take that into account.
"Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?"
Sheesh, when did he stop beating his wife?
Feb 16th 2012, 5:13 am
#33
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Canada or the UK?
I understand that by posting on a public forum a person opens up to public comment matters that might ordinarily be kept private. Nonetheless, there comes a point at which MYOFB is the apposite acronym.
"Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?"
Sheesh, when did he stop beating his wife?
"Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?"
Sheesh, when did he stop beating his wife?
Nor am I asking for an answer on here.
Does a rhetorical question need to be flagged up so obviously, dbd33?
These are just questions that came to my mind and which the OP might consider.
The court might be interested in the wider picture.
Feb 16th 2012, 5:22 am
#34
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: Canada or the UK?
Wouldn't it throw into question the sanity of person wanting to move to Canada from the UK, let alone subject their children to the place? 
Last edited by Oink; Feb 16th 2012 at 5:25 am.
Feb 16th 2012, 5:30 am
#35
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Feb 16th 2012, 5:47 am
#36
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Feb 16th 2012, 5:54 am
#37
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: Canada or the UK?
I'm just saying the court might ask why would you voluntarily leave a stable and relatively wealthy country where you have gained certain amount of cultural capital to a developing country where you don't. It all sounds a bit dodgy to me.
Feb 16th 2012, 6:45 am
#38
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: South of Calgary
Posts: 13,380
Re: Canada or the UK?
I am wondering why, if this man was so keen to have regular visiting rights to his son, he would have given consent to this in the first place?
What grounds is he giving for withdrawing his consent now?
Has anything about the arrangements changed?
Surely the courts would take into account that the father originally agreed to the move and take the view that this is just obstructive behaviour on his part to disrupt the plans of his ex?
I am not doubting in any way that a father has a right to block such a move if they want to but to agree until the very last gasp like this and then change his mind now makes me suspect his motives are not purely in the interests of his son or even anything to do with his child and that he could just be acting spitefully.
How much has the father had to do with his child so far?
Has he been reliable and diligent in his care of your son on the visits he has had previously?
Is he financially stable?
Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?
Maybe if he has not been acting in the best interests of the child before by being obstructive in his dealings with you regarding your son, then the court might take that into account.
What grounds is he giving for withdrawing his consent now?
Has anything about the arrangements changed?
Surely the courts would take into account that the father originally agreed to the move and take the view that this is just obstructive behaviour on his part to disrupt the plans of his ex?
I am not doubting in any way that a father has a right to block such a move if they want to but to agree until the very last gasp like this and then change his mind now makes me suspect his motives are not purely in the interests of his son or even anything to do with his child and that he could just be acting spitefully.
How much has the father had to do with his child so far?
Has he been reliable and diligent in his care of your son on the visits he has had previously?
Is he financially stable?
Has you been able to discuss the welfare of your child with him in an adult and mature way despite being separated or has he been difficult about things before?
Maybe if he has not been acting in the best interests of the child before by being obstructive in his dealings with you regarding your son, then the court might take that into account.
Looking at it from the child's point of view, one generally requires the non access parent to have had very little contact with the child to obtain such an Order. If both parents are involved with the child, it can never be in the child's best interest to lose huge amounts of contact with one parent, simply because of the wishes of the other parent.
In Canada, one has to obtain the other parent's permission to relocate to another Province with a child. They are called "mobility applications". They are generally considered to be one of the most difficult applications with which to achieve success in family law, unless, of course, the other parent has minimal contact with the child.
Last edited by Almost Canadian; Feb 16th 2012 at 6:49 am.
Feb 16th 2012, 7:02 am
#39
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: Canada or the UK?
Maybe the OP agreed to fund the costs of his access and has now withdrawn that offer. Who knows?
Looking at it from the child's point of view, one generally requires the non access parent to have had very little contact with the child to obtain such an Order. If both parents are involved with the child, it can never be in the child's best interest to lose huge amounts of contact with one parent, simply because of the wishes of the other parent.
In Canada, one has to obtain the other parent's permission to relocate to another Province with a child. They are called "mobility applications". They are generally considered to be one of the most difficult applications with which to achieve success in family law, unless, of course, the other parent has minimal contact with the child.
Looking at it from the child's point of view, one generally requires the non access parent to have had very little contact with the child to obtain such an Order. If both parents are involved with the child, it can never be in the child's best interest to lose huge amounts of contact with one parent, simply because of the wishes of the other parent.
In Canada, one has to obtain the other parent's permission to relocate to another Province with a child. They are called "mobility applications". They are generally considered to be one of the most difficult applications with which to achieve success in family law, unless, of course, the other parent has minimal contact with the child.
Feb 16th 2012, 7:08 am
#40
Seasoned Maritimer
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick CA
Posts: 8,309
Feb 16th 2012, 7:23 am
#41
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Canada or the UK?
Not knowing the background (and not asking to!) it isn't possible to know why the OP wanted to do this anyway or how much contact the child has had with the father or extended family.
The idea that everyone has a lovely, supportive extended family is an old fashioned one from my experience and doesn't apply to an awful lot of families these days. Not knowing your grandparents and uncles/aunts is common and not knowing your father is a lot more common, too, sadly.
Even so, I would expect any parent with an ex removing a child to another country to have to make a seriously strong case but here the father agreed to it originally and has only just revoked this now that the PR approval has come through.
That isn't really fair on the mother or the child and I would expect there to be questions about why he has done this.
I understand what el richo said about reality biting, but the father should have considered the implications of his agreement a lot harder before he gave consent.
He didn't have to agree to it - he could have said no from the start.
Feb 16th 2012, 7:29 am
#42
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: Canada or the UK?
IMHO having a child puts constraints on what you can do going forward, and bugger the parents wishes and dreams, knowing who both your parents are is going to be important to the child, regards of how good or bad the other parent think it will be…
Feb 16th 2012, 7:33 am
#43
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Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,771
Re: Canada or the UK?
To the father or the child?
The father was asked once and apparently agreed, if I read that earlier post correctly... And we have no idea what relationship the child has with his father.
There is a lot of conjecture and guesswork in this thread, only the OP knows the circumstances and how much contact there is etc... thats why they have judges to decide these things..., and why the OP was asking in the first place I expect.
The father was asked once and apparently agreed, if I read that earlier post correctly... And we have no idea what relationship the child has with his father.
There is a lot of conjecture and guesswork in this thread, only the OP knows the circumstances and how much contact there is etc... thats why they have judges to decide these things..., and why the OP was asking in the first place I expect.
Last edited by iaink; Feb 16th 2012 at 7:40 am.
Feb 16th 2012, 7:40 am
#44
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Joined: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere between Vancouver & St Johns
Posts: 19,874
Re: Canada or the UK?
He was asked and agreed, if I read that earlier post correctly...
There is a lot of conjecture and guesswork in this thread, only the OP knows the circumstances and how much contact there is etc... thats why they have judges to decide these things..., and why the OP was asking in the first place I expect.
There is a lot of conjecture and guesswork in this thread, only the OP knows the circumstances and how much contact there is etc... thats why they have judges to decide these things..., and why the OP was asking in the first place I expect.
Note we never learnt the age of the child concerned so should a child get a say in these proceedings?
Unfortunately parents will use children as pawns in divorce/custody type proceedings and we are only hearing the OP's side of the story.
Yes if he initially agreed to the move then withdrew his consent then why was it withdrawn.
Obviously the OP will make a decision and we may never know what will happen.
Feb 16th 2012, 7:40 am
#45
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Canada or the UK?
But removing the child from its father isn't fair either..
IMHO having a child puts constraints on what you can do going forward, and bugger the parents wishes and dreams, knowing who both your parents are is going to be important to the child, regards of how good or bad the other parent think it will be…
IMHO having a child puts constraints on what you can do going forward, and bugger the parents wishes and dreams, knowing who both your parents are is going to be important to the child, regards of how good or bad the other parent think it will be…
Split parents often find it impossible to even be civil to one another and that is why the courts have to be involved.
They will make a judgement on the evidence they are presented with and no doubt both the OP and her ex will try to sway them to their own point of view.
IMHO every child has the right to access to both parents as long as their safety and well-being are the prime concern of both parties, but so often split couples end up bickering and using the child as a tool to hurt the other and ignore what this does to the poor child.
Courts are there to protect the child when the parents can't be trusted to cooperate and do what is in the child's best interests and it is never as clear cut as it seems.
What the reality is in this case we don't know but there certainly is a difference in opinion between what the mother and father want for the child.
Mum wants Canada, Dad wants UK.
Up to the judge...
