Madmac

One day at a time. It's how I'm coping....oh and plenty of drink helps.

Best wishes.

andrewrob

....or not. Dont want to sound pessimistric, but of course for some people its not home and never will be. i've been here eight years and though i quite like certain aspects of life here i cant ever imagine staying here for the rest of my days...thats just too depressing to imagine.

Liana

IMO the best way to think about either staying here or leaving is to focus on the reason you decided to come here initially. There are many people posting here that are desperate to get here and there are many posters who support them. Missing family does not go away- home sickness is akin to grieving- we gradually start to cope with it. Whatever we came for if the situation is like that in the UK and we want to return then go down that route. We can always return if it ultimately isn't the right decision.

Garfielduk

Get out there and explore and make some good new friends, I'm sure some on here will welcome you into their homes if they are in your area. Also from what I know Born and bred Canadians are very welcoming. Don't come back to (Y)uk yet, it will get better when you get over the initial shock !

Madmac

Difficult to do that when you know no-one. Joining a club is okay if you are the outgoing type but not everyone is like that.

Canadians are friendly, just as friendly as the nice folk in Britain. They smile, they are polite but they are just as distant to strangers as we are and rightly so. So many people on here seem to think Canadians are big cuddly, naive folk who talk to anyone and invite you over for a meal on the first meeting. They are just like us, in fact just like folk anywhere - wary at first and concerned with their own affairs, family and close friends.

It takes hard work and a fair dose of self-confidence to walk up to complete strangers, in a foreign land, be it on the street or at the gym/pub/etc and just strike up a conversation. I find it incredibly difficult. So will most others.

Shock disappears within days - that's not what bothers immigrants in the long run. IMO it's the boredom, isolation and difficulty in finding decent work that hits hardest. From seven weeks ago until now I can say that has got better in lots of ways. However, we still don't have jobs - don't even have an interview yet, still only speak to a couple we met before we came and we do go out to pubs, the hockey and have joined a gym.

There's nothing flippant about settling into Canadian life and feeling fed-up. My best wishes to all who try it and fortunately I still have a marriage even after all the stress.

Garfielduk

I know a lot of people are not so outgoing, especially British people so if that's the case how about this idea, write an invitation on your pc to your neighbours and drop it through their doors inviting them all round to either a BBQ or if the weathers not too good to a welcoming party, that shouldn't be too difficult, I would surely try it if it means getting to know a few people

Cowtown

Canadian translation ... Cougars Nite ...

Madmac

Yup. Try everything. Just be realistic about the outcome.

In the street we've ended up in, the people always say hi when passing. I've spoken to one guy across the road for about 15 mins and we have brief shouted conversations across the road when we see each other.

However, this is the same level of interaction we had back in Scotland. So my conclusion is that it will either happen or it won't.

C'est la vie.

Cowtown

No thrown bottles or knives during such interaction = good

More thrown bottles or knives during such interaction = bad

Sounds like a positive outcome ....

raine66

Here here absolutely true couldn't have put it better myself.

I'm not the out going type at all, and sometimes find it really hard to speak to people, don't get me wrong if they're chatty then i am too, but if they sit there and don't say a word then I just clam up.

I have arranged to meet Sam on Wednesday so hopefully we will find a new friend in each other, in fact I'm sure we will. The house that we have just bought is only five minutes away from each other so I'm sure we will have many weekends at each others houses.

I think we obviously need to get out there and find new friends, it just finding the confidence to do it, and sometimes that in it's self overwhelms us.


Raine

Grah

Make sure you start inviting each others neighbours around to these get togethers. Isolatiing yourselves to each other isn't any fun either.

Other than making the trip across the road to hold a proper conversation even just saying "fancy a Timmies" Will help break the ice so much quicker than waiting for them to invite you in to their lives.

So here's a quick question for everyone.


How many of you when in England noticed someone new in your street, road workplace and went upto them and said. "Hi, fancy going for a drink to meet some people?" or words to that effect?

None - well start doing for others what you expect others to do for you.

Madmac

As an only child I don't actually feel the need to go and talk to others and this is hard when you really need to 'put' yourself upon others in a new country.

At least I will always have the 'voices in my head' to keep me company.

Raine - I hope you and Sam have fun. Best wishes.

raine66

Madmac,

I come from a family of five, four girls and one boy I'm the youngest of us all, you would think from such a big family I would feel more confident but I don't, everyone else spoke for my as a kid, so why did I need to speak.

Also OH is an only child so he has never had this whole family thing so he loves it when we all get together,

Sam and I have spoken on the phone so I think we will get on just fine. Well I hope anyway SAM.

Raine

britishvixen21

I know I havent been in touch with the wedding and that, but it sounds like you need a good old essex girls night out, email me were going out this weekend with Celine, and well get p*** drunk, make fools of ourslelves and then find somewhere that does a kebab and eat it on the way home with our shoes in our hands!!!
Anyone else who wants to tag along and cheer sam up pm me.

TheVickers

they do donar kebabs at the St. Jacobs market on a thursday! although that might be a little far to go! I would die for a parmo though!

Jo x