clairemarie70

i was wondering if anyone else felt the way i do...we have lived here for nearly 2 years now..i work fulltime and hate my job..i could change jobs but my hourly rate will be hard to match...we live extremely rural its so nice having no neighbours but on the other hand we never see anyone round us..the house we bought needs quite a lot of working mainly cosmetic but when we left th UK we were not going to buy a house that needed reno's and that has happened anyway..as this was the cheapest house on the market at the time that had less then 5 acres...i dont get to speak to family unless i call them...the mozzies this year drove me insane im not sure that i can put up with that again...i walked into playschool for the first time taking my son there..and it felt like i had two heads noone spoke to me either..made me feel really uncomfortable...in the small town we live everyone is either related in some way or are best friends..this doesnt make for easy living...on a personal level my relationship with my OH is not going good and we have planned to marry next year in Vegas...im really not sure if we just need to move from this area and im not sure what it is i need to do to sort out how im feeling but if anyone else feels like this..how did u sort out your feelings. im not looking for sympathy just want anyone elses input.

Cookie

Working a job you hate no matter where you live in the world would affect you. Wouldn't you rather earn a little less and be happy?

Also, living extremely rural is not for everyone, as is living in a home that needs lots of renos when you work fulltime.

I am a people person and like to get involved in the community and socialise with friends so although I live on a few acres, it's on the edge of town with the bonus of all the local amenities and community events on my doorstep. That's very important for the kids too.

Look at this this way, do want want to be in the same position this time next year - if not, then you and your family will have to make the changes because no-one else can.

Good luck

deenailz

i know what you mean , we live in a town where we know about 4 people ! no ones talks to you and to be honest most of em are up their own ass so we are moving , and hoping we get somewhere a bit friendlier , lol

clairemarie70

yes i would take a pay cut if i found a job i was happier doing but all the jobs that are paid less would mean i would need to work in a gas station or convience store and i did that when we first got here..i used to work in the local hospital in the UK not trained but a healthcare worker..here u have to be trained and i am not the sort of person that can clean an old man up after they have crapped them selves a old peoples home is far from going to make me happy...my kids do complain about having no friends to play with but i just tell them that for the quite life then thats how it is.

emmae

Can't say the same situation but similar feelings I think in terms of feeling like everything was getting on top of me a few years ago here in the UK.

We bought an old barn for conversion which exchanged 4 months before first son was due to be born. The house had had the first fix done ie internal walls, wiring, plumbing pipework etc. We got it 'liveable' 1 month before my first son was born. I hated my job so welcomed the maternity leave. However, 7 weeks after my son was born, my mum died at age 53 and my world came tumbling down.

I threw myself into caring for my son for the first year, and then 'took on' the rest of the work on the house. I had to formulate a plan, remembering the dream and set myself some serious goals as I was in a dark place at times. My husband and I pulled together and over the years have built and developed a fabulous house and life (including self employment). We are now selling the house to make our new life in Canada! We are in the sale process here now so going through stress but again have a plan and goal in mind and are keeping our feet moving to get there.

I have seen a lot of good advice on here in the past about remembering what your dream was in moving, and what your plans were so I would try and re-focus on that. Do you have any ideas in mind to strive for with the house, with the 5 acres etc etc? Maybe, you could get some support through friends, coach or professional support? It worked for me. No doubt there will be hard times to come for us too but I think I have now found my way of working my way/dreaming my way and making it reality, through things.

I hope you find your way.

Emma xxx

dinger24

Firstly you dont want sympathy, but I cant help myself so you have mine. It sounds like you have had a bit of a rough time and you sound like you are not in a place you are going to enjoy a year later either.
You and your OH need to sit down with a wee bottle or two, three or ten either way get relaxed and chat it all out, do not just spring it on him plan it!
Have the kids tucked up, or beat up what ever it is just get you and the OH with no interruptions and distractions.
List your top five dislikes of where you are and what you do!
OH does the same (I know this is alien to you girls but its in secret!)
Compare lists - perfect you have the same lists (that will never happen with anyone) You should have 3 the same or very similar.
Take each point and discuss it
You will either come to a better arrangement with the problem or a new answer to solve it.
The end result can vary from OH has 20,000 DIY tasks to complete before the kids get up! To you require a new house in a new area! Only people that can do this is you and OH, but you need to be happy with what you have or it will just fester and fester until boiling point! It is not a good idea to just sit it out!
Finally Vegas Whoop Whoop! went there for a family friends anniversary and we had a fantastic time! We do not gamble but we still had a fantastic time. Oh and Elvis stays there, along with his 20 brothers, I could see the family resemblance!

beckybev

I really feel for you. I lived in France for 9 years and when I moved back to the UK I thought I'd settle back in really quickly. It didn't turn out that way. The locals were really wary of us and no one really made an effort to speak to us. At the local playgroup, I was ignored and talked about behind my back. It took a couple of years for us to make friends in a different community. It seems that the first community didn't take kindly to strangers... I was English!!! Making a change will definitely make a difference, seeing friendly faces and having local amenities will make life much more enjoyable. Just having a chat with people that know what you're going through helps. I hope that reading these messages puts a smile on your face.

Almost Canadian

What did you expect?

Stop whining and do something

clairemarie70

im far from whining..i thought this was a discussion forum..and immigrating is far from a bunch of roses..u didnt need to look at my post and your answer really wasnt necessary..everyone is entitled to there opinion but comments like that are just heartless..thanks for everyone elses comments and will continue to read anything further

snoopster

how marvellously supportive!

Kaye.

Those comments are not helpful

What province do you live in clairemarie70?

clairemarie70

saskatchewan..southeast

dinger24

Yep
You stick up for yourself clairemarie!
I lived in Germany for 10 years and this is the first time I have been in this part of the UK (my home town) for over 20 years
I know only my sister and my wifes family but we really only see them once a week as we are not that close now. We do occasionally go out for a night with her sister and husband but maybe once a month. Other than that we are on our own!
We hate it here it isnt what we want!
So we can understand where you are coming from.
We are hoping that it all works out for you.

live to ski

although it is a really tough time to be going through, take it as an opportunity for you, OH and with input from the kids to discuss what you really want out of where you live. This experience may help you to realise what is important to you all and hence you might be more likely to end up somewhere that does suit you.

so many people go through life living in the same place just because they don't know any better or have the initiative to change things. my family in the UK do. they all compete for who has the biggest house, nicest car etc. and then when events like weddings come along all hell brakes loose because their lives are so empty and pointless the rest of the time that they have no persepctive. But because that is always what they have know, they don't know any different.

if possible maybe try to stand back from your very current situation and look at your life as objectively as possible.

Alan2005

He does have a point though (however indelicately put). If you decide to live in the middle of nowhere you should accept the things that go with that. If it's not what you thought it would be, then consider your options and do something about it.