vikgrif

Hi all. Am Canadian.... having left Canada and living in uk for 23 yrs, now want to return to Canada with British husband and daughter. Anyone out there with same experience? how have you found the return. Has it been easy/hard? Better/worse? Having spent most of my adult life in the uk, fear going back to Canada in my 40's maybe difficult..finding work, starting over, etc. as aware I will have to support the family until husband will be able to work....Looking to head to BC. Thanks

el_richo

Depends where you lived in the UK and what you did for a living i guess.

My wife had a tough time adjusting from life in London to life in Vancouver. After 10 years in the UK she changed, and Vancouver changed. She was more British than Canadian in many respects so the transition was a tough one for her. On the plus side, she finds many Canadians she works with are used to being a big fish in a very little pond so she's finding her work and fast track through the company quite easy.

She finds work easy and much less stressful. Access to family & friends is great (one of the big things keeping her here). The mentality, naivety, hypocrisy, travel costs, limiting access to Europe, fashion, and other stuff, can drive her bonkers sometimes.

That said, we enjoy our life in Canada as much as we enjoyed it in the UK. It's just different.

I think she'd not have to think too much about returning to live in the UK, occasionally.

MillieF

I am the British spouse! My husband is a bit scared of returning, and like El_Ricoh's wife, my husband does find some aspects of life in his country, and fellow countrymen trying at times. That being said, everywhere can be bloody trying in spades. He left 25 years ago, with one wife, and is coming back with another! - we have visited regularly though. He will, ultimately be retiring there too one day, and that is stressful. My husband is scared that I'll hate it, and the thing that makes me feel worse is I feel I have to be much more super positive about everything Canadian, in order to make him feel better. If we encounter one iffy situation there, he takes the whole responsibility on his shoulders, which is plain daft, but nicely touching. I long ago gave up being responsible for the goodies and baddies in the Brit community. Marrying anybody from a different country or culture can be challenging, and the differences can be delightful and fun when the times are good, but can certainly exacerbate the problems when you are going through a rocky patch. We are packing up and moving next summer - if we are still together in 18 months, we'll count it a success story! At present we are nervously optimistic.

p.s. maybe I should have just written - Marrying anybody can be a great big challenge! how true.

Oink

He and the child will hate it. The cultural differences are too much and will alienate them, plus at your age unless you're highly qualified and specialised I think it'll be difficult to get a decent job.

DandNHill

You always know exactly what to say Oink!!! I wonder whether on the basis of your kind words they will change their plans?

Editha

I'm the British spouse. My husband is from Victoria BC, and spent 30 years in the UK before we came to Edmonton in 06.

I hate it here. I'd probably enjoy it more if we were in BC. I try to spend as much time as possible in Europe and as little time as possible in Canada. That's the only way it is bearable.

Another two and a half years and we'll be retiring back to the UK -- thank God.

el_richo

Aaaah but what if it came true?

Cdnshaz

Not sure what the others are on about, but I lived in Uk for 10 yrs and returned last year with my british husband. Yes things change, but that is any country, it's just whether you can adjust and how you kept ties with your family and friends and how often you visited home. Don't expect things to be the same, they won't be, time goes on without us here. There are times I wanted to sell up here this year and go back to UK, but that was due to my family getting on my last nerve. I miss parts of the UK, I do not miss bumper to bumper traffic, having to pay for parking all the time, high gas prices and lower wages (at least for me) I had no real friends in UK and only my inlaws whom I rarely seen. So was left for the most part on my own, so work and going to the gym was all I really had. Am I glad to be home, some days no but most days yes.
My husband had retired from UK police so we came back here, he is now working full time as we cannot live on his pension, I cannot find full time employment at my age no one wants me, so I babysit my grand daughters (I am under 50 yrs)

Everyone's story is different, but if they hate it that much they can leave the same way they got here and go home, Canada doesn't force people to stay if they are unhappy...my husband on the other hand loves it here and does not want to go back to UK...and all his family are there, inc his kids....
You have to give it time, things will be different, living will be different, driving is different, food, bills, banks....but at very least give it a chance...

DandNHill

Hmmm, that would suggest that Oink talks sense! That'll be the day

Joolschweetie

Again, I'm the brit and he's the Canadian and he's found it a little tricky to reintegrate, even though he didn't love the UK. He has returned to the same company in Canada he left 5 years ago but is struggling with it. Working in sales he finds that all the networking he did before leaving is no longer useful and he doesn't know many people anymore, consequently his colleagues are getting all the sales. I think he expected to fit right back in as a Canadian, but it hasn't happened that way. Plus he gets mocked horribly for his hybrid accent. Lol.

Having said that, time goes on and people adjust I guess. I'm hoping that very soon he'll stop telling anyone who'll listen that "in the UK, you can buy cheap booze in supermarkets - we have this store called Tescos..." That seemed to be the UK's only saving grace for him

Steve_

They've got to want to do it, basically. Had an experience with it in the US with someone I knew. People have unrealistic views of how exciting and interesting it's going to be and then they're stuck in a foreign country with only one person they know.

If you've visited regularly and they know what they're in for, then I think you should be okay but if they think it's going to be some exciting adventure, I think you need give them a dose of reality first. Lower the expectations a bit.

Steve_

I don't think BC is that much of a shock if you're British. I mean I'm not saying they're the same by any means but on the very rare occasions I miss British-ishness I go to BC, it's cheaper. Kelowna is overcast just like Britain is most of the time and the architecture in Victoria and Vancouver is very British-like. I've even seen a few old RHD cars on Vancouver Island.

But then I hate soccer. But there is an MLS team in Vancouver. Plus I don't drink much, but in the lower mainland you can go to the US easily enough.

el_richo

Really? I must have missed it

Do you mean the 30 storey office/apartment buildings, or the wooden houses in the suburban sub-divisions?

MillieF

What a lovely sounding man, he should shout it from the rooftops and the Canadians might cotton on! He could help me compile the not too exhaustive list of why I will miss France - the wine, the wine, the supermarkets and the food...oh and I forgot... the wine!

Joolschweetie

Why do you think we live in Hamilton ...nothing to do with my OH and mostly to do with Niagara's wine region on our doorstep! Lol.
We just pop over to a winery and get a few jugs of plonk for tesco-type prices...*sigh* mmm, wine.

I think in this instance, the wine smiley is definitely called for