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Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Old Feb 12th 2011, 7:37 pm
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Default Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

My hubbie has already gone... friends, family, and colleagues all want to arrange leaving parties/drinks etc... but I just don't want to.

I just want to go, don't think anyone (apart from family) will really miss me anyway, I think they just feel like they HAVE to offer to do something.

What do I say??

I leave for Toronto on the 24th Feb, and working right up until 10pm on the 23rd - I don't have the time to celebrate/commiserate!
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 7:40 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Originally Posted by Flyingscottie View Post
My hubbie has already gone... friends, family, and colleagues all want to arrange leaving parties/drinks etc... but I just don't want to.

I just want to go, don't think anyone (apart from family) will really miss me anyway, I think they just feel like they HAVE to offer to do something.

What do I say??

I leave for Toronto on the 24th Feb, and working right up until 10pm on the 23rd - I don't have the time to celebrate/commiserate!
Just say NO thanks
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

just go, it is what we intend to do in July, telling everyone we are going now and will just disappear
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 9:13 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Hubby and I were just talking about this!

We also just want to leave quietly, with as little fuss as possible. We will of course do all our goodbyes, but on a one to one basis with our nearest and dearest - could not cope with the whole party thing! Come the time though, I'm not sure if our family and friends will see things the same way!

So far we have only told our closest family that we are planning to immigrate this summer, plan is to visit the extended clan just before we leave so they won't have time to get anything organised... hopefully!

I think you are probably underestimating how much people will miss you, but just tell them it isn't really your thing and they hear you!!

Best of Luck!!!!

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Old Feb 12th 2011, 9:23 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

We went out for a "last supper" with parents and brothers. I remember feeling a little snappy, especially when MIL got a bit weepy. I expect it was the stress, and I didn't want her to make a scene and make hubby and boys feel bad for leaving her.
I was coming out here with the family but returning without them after a week anyway to finish stuff up, so it didn't quite feel like "good-bye from me" anyway.

We'd previously had a pub party with friends, and I suddenly found myself a little emotional at that one!

These things are best once they are over and done with, but if you really don't want to go through it can you not explain to some reasonable person?

When I did actually finally leave for good, the joy at the prospect of being reunited with hubby and boys outweighed the sadness of leaving, so again my feelings were diluted somewhat!
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 9:32 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Originally Posted by Flyingscottie View Post
My hubbie has already gone... friends, family, and colleagues all want to arrange leaving parties/drinks etc... but I just don't want to.

I just want to go, don't think anyone (apart from family) will really miss me anyway, I think they just feel like they HAVE to offer to do something.

What do I say??

I leave for Toronto on the 24th Feb, and working right up until 10pm on the 23rd - I don't have the time to celebrate/commiserate!

Personally I think they're being extremely selfish and insensitive to go to the trouble and expense of arranging parties for you. Whatever next? Will they offer to give you lift to the airport? Some people eh?
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 9:34 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

I hear you - we had a number of parties arranged for us, none of which I wanted to attend, the stress is so high anyway it is just exhausting dealing with all the goodbye's.

By the last one, I skipped out after half an hour and went to bed!

Unfortunately, it seems if you say no to the arrangements, people are hell bent on "surprising" you with a farewell anyway

Keep your chin up!
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Old Feb 12th 2011, 9:41 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Rather than a leaving party in the traditional sense, we had an open house. It was about three or four days before we moved over and we just told people that they were free to drop in any time that day to say cheerio if they wished. We didn't lay on masses of food and copious amounts of alcohol. Instead, we had some hot dogs and homemade soups on the go (borrowed a few slow cookers) so people could have a snack if they wished. It worked out really well; lots of nice little chats over a cup of tea, that sort of thing.
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 12:41 am
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Yep I was exactly the same, the goodbyes were exhausting, and people forget that they do one goodbye and you do 100!

Have a glass of wine, I am sure it will be fine! I kept reminding myself, at least people care and want to see us off, if no one gave a rats arse then we would have been more upset I'm sure!
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 1:58 am
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Originally Posted by Flyingscottie View Post
I leave for Toronto on the 24th Feb, and working right up until 10pm on the 23rd - I don't have the time to celebrate/commiserate! What do I say??
"Think about" informal drinks arrangement in your last week and then your leaving plans get "brought forward" to the 24th () so you're too rushed to do it.

Obviously this only works if they don't already know you're going that day.

Alternatively, tell those you don't want to party with that you have engagements with various close family/friends (already finding it hard to accommodate those?) and you can't fit anymore in what with packing, paperwork etc that is associated with moving to another country.
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 2:43 am
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

There's nothing to top the silent flounce.
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 3:06 am
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Argue with everyone so they are glad to see the back of you.
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 2:30 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

Fortunately for us we lived 150 miles from family (now 3500 - that should be enough to deter them ) so there were no family send off.

We had a couple of drinks at our local with some neighbours and left in the morning

Jules just pointed out that my work place took me out in central London (where I worked) and got me slightly tipsy

Last edited by Dave+Jules; Feb 13th 2011 at 2:36 pm.
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Old Feb 13th 2011, 5:08 pm
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

We had a farewell party about 2 weeks before we were due to go. That way it was over and done with and it wasn't too emotional as we were still in UK for 2 weeks after that. We then had a couple of low key meals with family just before we left. I think its more for the people you are leaving behind than for you. I was quite surprised how emotional some people were - you have to remember that you are heading off for some exciting times and have lots to look forward to, those staying in the UK don't have that luxury. At the end of the day, do what you think is best. If its any comfort, the move over here is much easier than you think. Good luck.
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Old Feb 14th 2011, 6:29 am
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Default Re: Am I the only one who wants to sneak out?

we lived a couple of hundred miles from family, so they were dealt with well in advance, but once permits were in place we packed and moved in 2 weeks, so ended up phoning folks on the way to the airport saying we were finally off - they all knew we had been planning for ages!
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