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Always on the outside looking in feeling

Always on the outside looking in feeling

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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 11:02 am
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Default Always on the outside looking in feeling

Read an interesting article this morning on the BBC website about migrants to Oz (yes I know this is the Canada thread) about this feeling of even if you've been settled for years in your new country you can always feel a bit detached – on the outside looking in on something you can't fully understand.

Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 11:39 am
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by bigblue
Read an interesting article this morning on the BBC website about migrants to Oz (yes I know this is the Canada thread) about this feeling of even if you've been settled for years in your new country you can always feel a bit detached – on the outside looking in on something you can't fully understand.

Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
No such feelings from Ajax.

Next!
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:22 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

I feel like I belong but since I don't have any family or history in Canada I know I will always feel British and I am happy with that because that's part of my identity
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:34 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by bigblue
Read an interesting article this morning on the BBC website about migrants to Oz (yes I know this is the Canada thread) about this feeling of even if you've been settled for years in your new country you can always feel a bit detached – on the outside looking in on something you can't fully understand.

Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
Can you please post the link as I can't find the article? I returned here 9 months ago after 29 years in Australia.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:43 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

That feeling isn't just for people moving to another country. I had that same feeling when I moved from London to a small village in Bedfordshire. Most of us adapt and settle in to a new stage of life.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:44 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by bigblue
Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
There's no need to "deal with it". I'm abroad. Of course I don't feel as if I belong.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by Cookie
I feel like I belong but since I don't have any family or history in Canada I know I will always feel British and I am happy with that because that's part of my identity
Pretty much the same for me. No family or previous history either, however was pretty long in the tooth when I moved over here. This may explain why I think of myself as a 'Scots Canadian'...but happy to be here in Canada and have now accepted it as 'home'.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by bigblue
Read an interesting article this morning on the BBC website about migrants to Oz (yes I know this is the Canada thread) about this feeling of even if you've been settled for years in your new country you can always feel a bit detached – on the outside looking in on something you can't fully understand.

Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
It’s not a bad feeling, just the side effect of most of the Cradle friends and colleagues growing up with different TV shows, different school culture, they’re informative years and “home” was sufficiently different to mine that we can’t relate to all things all the time and something’s will always need an explanation, but each year I need a little less explaining.
To put into context snow was a half day novelty for most of my childhood and more than three consecutive days was amazing, days that were over 25c well you had to drive south for that or get on a plane, now I have both every year guaranteed
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:24 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by Cookie
I feel like I belong but since I don't have any family or history in Canada I know I will always feel British and I am happy with that because that's part of my identity
Well put.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:28 pm
  #10  
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

"You can take the boy of of Essex but you will never take Essex out of the boy"...funnily enough i felt the same when id lived in a different part of the UK so not really a Cananda thing...ill never be an 'insert nationality here' Canadian.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:29 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by Beedubya
Can you please post the link as I can't find the article? I returned here 9 months ago after 29 years in Australia.

Here you go

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15799571
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 1:30 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by bigblue
Read an interesting article this morning on the BBC website about migrants to Oz (yes I know this is the Canada thread) about this feeling of even if you've been settled for years in your new country you can always feel a bit detached – on the outside looking in on something you can't fully understand.

Like to hear from any Brits in Canada that have this feeling of never really belonging and how do you deal with it?
You can't really "belong" to somewhere you aren't from.

I'm from Brighton. Technically I belong there but it doesn't feel like it when I go there. I know my way around but I'm not part of it any more. I didn't belong when I lived in France, Epsom or various bits of London.

I don't think any of my close neighbours are from Gatineau. At least three are not even Canadian-born and quite a few are Ontarians. It doesn't seem to make the slightest difference to anyone.

What I have noticed over the last few years is that when I'm not here I wish I was. Sure, there are things I don't understand. It would be the same if I moved to Glasgow or Birmingham.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 2:56 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by dbd33
There's no need to "deal with it". I'm abroad. Of course I don't feel as if I belong.
Pretty much this. I don't really feel the need to feel like I belong.
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 3:05 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Thanks for all the replies so far.

Feel quite reassured as we're about to move to BC.

I guess I don't feel like I belong where I am now and that's why I explored moving away in the first place. The England I knew and loved has disappeared anyway.

I suppose what I was getting at is it too strange or too big a move to last
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Old Nov 23rd 2011, 3:06 pm
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Default Re: Always on the outside looking in feeling

Originally Posted by Alan2005
Pretty much this. I don't really feel the need to feel like I belong.
Never felt the need to belong. I moved 3 times in my life and if had to choose one it would be the most recent, here in Ottawa where I have lived for the past 48 years. The place I was born in and lived for 22 years is just a memory and I expect some place I would not feel at home in or even recognise.
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