Just jokes fella.

Just jokes.



YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER...
If you introduce your wife as "[email protected]"
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you want an 500X CD-ROM for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes (bonus points if you have more than 6 recorded on video tape).
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
If you have never backed-up your hard drive
If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
If you truly believe aliens are living among us
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
If you see a good design and still have to change it
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
If you have more toys than your kids
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you shove up to the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
If you did the sound system for your senior prom
If your checkbook always balances
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:// stands for (bonus points if you actually care)
If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate

Its a fair cop.

Definition of an engineer is a device for converting coffee into waste paper

WHOOOOOOAAAAHH..!!!!!!

I HEARD THAT AND I WAS ON ANOTHER POSTING...!!!!!

Chance would be a fine thing! Although I suppose I oughtn't to even contemplate doing so, given my principled stance on here previously about the pointlessness of SUV ownership for suburban dwellers like myself.

Now a Nano, I could go for one of those...

I'm in marketing, but I have a B Eng and can say yes to a worrying number of those questions. What does that make me - other than confused...

...especially by this one
If you're fiercely intelligent but very fat, does that make you more or less likely to be an engineer than a very skinny stupid person?

Odyssey or Sienna. Test drive both. If you have a big preference, get that one. If you like them equally, look for the best deal.

You are still an engineer, only you have been drawn to the dark side

I had to think about that weight one too... At the risk of sounding like an ...engineer its gotta depend on the units....


Im pretty smart, but my IQ is not quite up in the 200s unlike my weight!...but if we are talking kg then its no problem...and if its stone then everyone is an engineer, even those with arts.....Oh...better not go there


I'll be fetching my coat shall I?

*hahahaha

TAXI!

That list is flawed - as all women judging by the last one would be engineers!

Domestic engineers?


Sorry...I left my hat behind...got it now, so Ill be off

Ummmm.....ok.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost
their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play
here anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

The engineer in me cant help but ruin a good joke by pointing out that 8 out of 10 legally blind people do actually some sight....


Sorry...I left my gloves behind...

Let's assume these guys were the 20%'ers.