Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Nov 16th 2013, 5:40 am
#31
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 50
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Apparently it takes two years to settle into a new place. Yes. Two. Years.
I thought I wouldn't have any problems moving to Canada, because I had already left my 'home' once to move to the UK and spent over 7 years there prior to coming to Canada, I did go through the worse homesickness phase ever. I thought it would be my bf who would suffer (he did, and still does, but much less than I had anticipated), it was me who got depressed, packed her bags and was ready to return to Europe. Fortunately, he helped me get through it and I stayed. Now I'm pregnant and looking forward to new things in my life, but homesickness still gets to me. I still sob uncontrollably under the shower at least once every two weeks because of how much I miss my friends and family, but I've learned now that it's normal. And it takes time. A lot of time.
I would tell you to try to go out there and meet people, make friends as that's what everyone told me. But that isn't easy. I've been here almost a year and still haven't made any friends. But...joining some groups does help. Basically, getting out and about, finding things to fill your time, doing things that will take your mind off of thinking about 'back home'. Good luck!
I thought I wouldn't have any problems moving to Canada, because I had already left my 'home' once to move to the UK and spent over 7 years there prior to coming to Canada, I did go through the worse homesickness phase ever. I thought it would be my bf who would suffer (he did, and still does, but much less than I had anticipated), it was me who got depressed, packed her bags and was ready to return to Europe. Fortunately, he helped me get through it and I stayed. Now I'm pregnant and looking forward to new things in my life, but homesickness still gets to me. I still sob uncontrollably under the shower at least once every two weeks because of how much I miss my friends and family, but I've learned now that it's normal. And it takes time. A lot of time.
I would tell you to try to go out there and meet people, make friends as that's what everyone told me. But that isn't easy. I've been here almost a year and still haven't made any friends. But...joining some groups does help. Basically, getting out and about, finding things to fill your time, doing things that will take your mind off of thinking about 'back home'. Good luck!
Where abouts are you in Vancouver?? If you'd ever like to chat in person feel free to meet up with me,
Nov 16th 2013, 7:02 am
#32
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 3
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
I totally agree with what others have said, but thought I'd add a few bits of advice based on my own experiences.
Things I found useful - join a beginner class of something (cooking, music, sport, languages, art/craft) as when you turn up, not only you but the whole class will be new, not knowing anyone - even those born and bred in the city. I found it really hard finding new friends among established groups, but when I started a college course I met a whole bunch of Canadian friends who, in this context, were in the same boat as me. I was no longer the 'new immigrant' but just another classmate (who just got a bit more ribbing for her funny accent and terminology than the others - but still one of the gang!). Fast forward 20 years and some of those people are still my closest friends, closer than those I left behind in the UK.
Another thing that worked for friends - if you're into sport at all, is join a club. I know expats who joined their local rugby club and found plenty of (usually older) British expats to have a banter with, but also Canadians who are into the game and appreciated the British sense of humour and pub/clubhouse culture.
I have now lived in 3 different countries and my mantra is - 'you've got to stick it out for at least a year'! It does get easier. Skype home every week. Also, having moved back to the UK for a few years I found there is such a thing as reverse homesickness. Far from being back in the old and familiar, the UK felt rather strange and foreign and I missed Canada!! C'est la vie!
Best of luck to you, I hope everything works out.
Things I found useful - join a beginner class of something (cooking, music, sport, languages, art/craft) as when you turn up, not only you but the whole class will be new, not knowing anyone - even those born and bred in the city. I found it really hard finding new friends among established groups, but when I started a college course I met a whole bunch of Canadian friends who, in this context, were in the same boat as me. I was no longer the 'new immigrant' but just another classmate (who just got a bit more ribbing for her funny accent and terminology than the others - but still one of the gang!). Fast forward 20 years and some of those people are still my closest friends, closer than those I left behind in the UK.
Another thing that worked for friends - if you're into sport at all, is join a club. I know expats who joined their local rugby club and found plenty of (usually older) British expats to have a banter with, but also Canadians who are into the game and appreciated the British sense of humour and pub/clubhouse culture.
I have now lived in 3 different countries and my mantra is - 'you've got to stick it out for at least a year'! It does get easier. Skype home every week. Also, having moved back to the UK for a few years I found there is such a thing as reverse homesickness. Far from being back in the old and familiar, the UK felt rather strange and foreign and I missed Canada!! C'est la vie!
Best of luck to you, I hope everything works out.
