3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I've been spending much too long on these forums than is probably good for me! I've been doing a lot of reading in the "going to Canada" as well as the "coming back to the UK" forums and it seems that things don't always go as expected/hoped for.

So that got me thinking. We're heading to BC at the end of June (providing the house sale doesn't fall through again) and are really looking forward to it. My question is, once jobs and a place to live is sorted, what can we do that will make us feel at home in Canada?

What are the three things that we can do which will make us feel settled?

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

personally I found volunteering, kids in hockey and English friends to get drunk with did it for me!:thumbup:

Good luck with the house sale and hope it all works out for you :thumbsup:

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Hi

We found when our shipped goods arrived it helped make the house feel more like home.

I would have to say I dont feel settled yet......not wanting to sound negative but finding the job is the first thing which will make me feel settled (in my opinion). I did mean to say "the job". I know I wont feel settled till my income exceed my outgoings so we dont rely on our savings....that I associate with the UK.

Cheers

JB

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

1) Stop comparing everything to "home"

2) Get stuck in with your local community and embrace your new life

3) Don't surround yourself with nothing but ex-pats. They may help you more comfortable in the short term but IMVHO, the newbies that struggle to settle are invariably those that don't live outside little britain. By all means have friends that are ex-pats but don't only have ex-pats as friends.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

^^^
What he said!

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Some good advice here on this thread. To add to it I would say do things as a family and don't fret to much about trying to make friends either expat or Canadian. Friends will come along as the journey unfolds. Enjoy yourselves and your new country. Lots will be different than the UK some things better some worse just don't take it all to seriously.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

After being here for 8 years nearly, i can pass on the following which helped me.

Really intergrate yourself into your new town. Go out and see new things, getting to know your surroundings is a great adventure for the whole family.

Volunteering is good, you do get to know new people which helps.

Im airing on the side of caution when it comes to suggesting going to British expat meetups, as they tend to be the same bunch of people every month complaining about how Canada isnt England and how they miss Marmite and Suet pudding, However.....I have one British freind that i met on this very website and we are inseperable. he is more like family to me. He lived in the same county as me so really gets when im down and how im feeling. The rest of my freind are Canadians of all different backgrounds and I think thats important. sometimes when im feeling down and low about Canada and getting peeved with its ways i only have to look at my very patriotic Canuck mates for some inspiration.

If you get homesick then let is come, dont try and avoid it, it will only catch up with you eventually. homesickness sucks big time! and you will find your own way of dealing with it. I generally shut the curtains make a Yorkshire tea, get a over priced pack of hobnobs from the British Store and chuck on some British Telly DVD's and have a good cry. If its really bad i book a trip home and get my Essex fix. When my homesickness was at its worst i used to say "thats it im going home" but i always told myself if i still felt the same way in 3/6 months id go. and so far i never have. A project is a good distraction.

Finding a job that you like is really important too, remember we are at work more than were at home, so you gotta love your job, or at least tolerate it.

And finally remember why you came, the passion you had for wanting to be here and that your living the dream!

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Thanks everyone - really good tips so far! It's so easy to read the extremes on these forums - both positive and negative. These kinds of tips are great and I'm so grateful to everyone. Keep them coming!

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I agree to the above, but definately immerse yourself in the Canadian way of life, you dont need English friends to get drunk with! The Canadians know how to have fun for sure! Volunteering is HUGE out here. Get stuck in with that and you will soon make friends.
I also joined a ladies soccer team and its the most fun I have ever had! Never played before but had the confidence to try it out here!
Good luck!!!

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

:thumbup: I agree with the above. Canada is not England and never will be. Once you can get past that, you'll be fine ;)

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

1) Once there, remind yourself mentally/constantly that you are there to stay and not just visiting/on holiday, so view each new local discovery, stores, government offices, fuel stations, schools etc. with a permanent aspect rather than a temporary one.
2) Join local sports, social groups, drinking clubs (whatever fits your fitness lifestyle ;) )
3) Ditto! On the suggestion of not surrounding yourself with ex-pats. It's not like you have language barrier to overcome.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

1. Job your happy with
2. House and school sorted ( where applicable )
3. Routine
4. Never meet ex-pats.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I would not go as far as to never meet expats. More than half of my friends here are expats. They are work mates as well so I do see them most days. We all arrived about the same time so have discovered nova scotia together and it has been a good laugh hearing each others adventures. Like everything in life it is a balance after all everything in moderation is what the doctor ordered.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

FF - which bit of Van are you heading to

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We're going to be a little outside - probably Fort Langley or Walnut Grove ...

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

ok - I teach out in Abbotsford - I like Fort Langley :)

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Those 3 things are SO true!!
I have been here 21 years now and only have a couple of Brit friends.
Surround yourself with your new culture, and definately do NOT keep going on about or comparing things to "home" it never will be the same, or why would you move to canada anyways??
The people i avoid most are the ones that say ":I'm going back 'ome next week for me holidays" and they have lived here for like 35+ years!!

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

You mean drive a truck and go to Tim Hortons?

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Surely thats only in Rural Canada. In urban Canada shouldn't it be "Get a transit pass and go work at Tim Hortons"?

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Get access to UK TV. It's only one thing, but all the others require effort and I for one simply can't be arsed making an effort.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Fort Langley is nice. I always go to wendels bookshop for lunch when I'm there; haven't been for a while though.

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Dunno, I can count on one hand how many times I have been to a Tim Hortons.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I would say...

Try to

1. get into Hockey - support your local team
2. Volunteer for something
3. Attend some networking events or meetup groups to mix with local people
4. if you do mix with expats - make sure they are positive Pro-Canada loving it ones and not ones that are negative and may bring you down
5. Go camping, snowboarding, walking - enjoy what you didnt have before

As a side point i have found Canadians to be very impressed when i tell them truthfully that there is only one sport and thats hockey and i love it... if i didnt have a job - this would be the phrase that would win in an interview...

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Ive done none of that....

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Booze helps the most.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

hi ff although ive not moved out to Canada yet ive 2 kids that live there, the eldest has been there 10 years now and going on what he says i agree with what others have posted . We are hopefully moving to Ontario sept /Oct have have been asking him questions just like this 1. What part of north Essex are you from, its just that we live in brightlingsea and my wife heard through a friend at work that someone else from the town is going Canadian too. Anyway good luck to you and yours with the move :thumbsup:

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I think this is a BIG thing. Don't be shy ..... you have just done an enormously brave thing in emigrating, and it's very empowering, so to turn up and announce yourself at your neighbourhood "whatever" club is small-fry in comparison! ... whether it's joining a group with an interest you already have, or trying something you'd never even heard of back in the day! :thumbsup:

It's also a good opportunity to start a new interest with your other half, so you learn and laugh together, and then you can make friends together as well.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I absolutely agree with British Vixen 21..............I went 6 months before I started feeling homesick....Quite good going I think!! But, dont let yourself believe that you will never get homesick. It will happen - maybe only for something silly but, let it happen, I also believe in having that whole day to let it out and wake up the next day feeling refreshed and start loving the day again.

For me, I love the fact that our local store has REAL UK Baked Beans, Scott's Porridge and Chocolate digestives......Little tastes of home.

Find yourself something for you whether its joining a gym/class/volunteer group......Somewhere you can get to know people and share who you are. You will start to meet people and feel 'comfortable' with them again. I really miss having a chat, cuppa and get togethers with friends who know me for me, without effort.....I am getting there again with a few friends here.

It all takes time and you must remember that...I think that helps! Oh and remember winter can be a downer.......Summer is always round the corner!!

Hope you find some bits on this thread to make it all easier when it happens!! x

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

yeah agreed then you wont miss the UK much cus Canadain TV is crap.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Great advice. Regarding your first and third points, I have worked with ex-pats who constantly say things like "In the UK, we do it this way....". Not surprisingly, these people usually end up moving back to the UK.

I think your second point is similar to something that I was going to suggest. I think it's important to have a positive attitude - a determination to make the best of things. Everyone has ups and downs in life. Setbacks don't define us as people - how we react to them defines us.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

2econded-wit exception of:The Littlest Hobo

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

I'm not there yet but tend to think of it like this. If you emigrated to, say, Thailand, Singapore....somewhere like that, you wouldn't question that you were in a different country with a completely different culture. Okay, so Canada is an English speaking country but it's not England and can't, therefore, be compared. Just a thought.....

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Isn't it due to it not being England that means you can compare it to England? You can't compare England to England :confused:

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Cant argue with that logic:)


Perhaps "shouldn't be compared" would be better. Although you are going to anyway whether its a good idea or not.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Eh? I'm a bit confused by that but what I mean is just because we speak the same language, it isn't the same country.....

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Yeah, I get it now :o

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Fwiw, I knew what you meant.

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

1, when I look at the 3 bedroom fetched house that I could never afford in uk
2, nice new car to drive around in because we both earn double to uk wages
3, seeing the kids happy at school with lots of friends

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

How long have you been here?

Re: 3 things to feel settled quickly ...
 

Phew.....ta! :)