When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Mar 31st 2007, 4:57 pm
#1
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Not sure where to begin with this one, as everyone will go through this situation, Parents wishes etc, Everyone will have their own opinion, I'm just typing randomnly to see what thoughts come out.... Right at this second it's pride.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Mar 31st 2007, 5:19 pm
#2
Loving it in SA
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Seaford.....South Australia
Posts: 1,759
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Not sure where to begin with this one, as everyone will go through this situation, Parents wishes etc, Everyone will have their own opinion, I'm just typing randomnly to see what thoughts come out.... Right at this second it's pride.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
I lost my dad to cancer a year ago last November he was 68 and its not a nice thing to go through losing your dad.
He ended up on a morphine driver which administers morphine at reguler intervals to counteract the pain he was in.
We saw him deteriorate over a a few years but the deterioration we saw him go through in the last two weeks of his life was bloody awful and heart wrenching, we could see he was in such pain and discomfort, and we all thought that he should really go.
but my dad was such a strong, proud great loving caring man who never moaned about anything even when he was lying there he never complained.
we never thought of Euthenasia but in a way the amount of morphine that was being put into him in effect made it quicker than it could have been his body couldnt take that much morpihne TBH.
My thoughts are with you my friend at this very hard time i know how hard it is losing your dad.
My dad was my biggest hero above any other person in the whole world.
not sure if that helps you out any but if you wanna talk some more PM me.
Mar 31st 2007, 5:30 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Not alot I can say but it certainly puts things into perspective.
Mandy
Mandy
Mar 31st 2007, 5:31 pm
#4
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
take your dad to visit the local hospice first if this doesnt change his mind and make him realise that he CAN have a dignified death in England then take him to Switzerland.
much love sent
Kim
much love sent
Kim
Mar 31st 2007, 5:33 pm
#5
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 317
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
oh, i`m so sorry darling, my thoughts are with you x
Mar 31st 2007, 5:36 pm
#6
Loving it in SA
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Seaford.....South Australia
Posts: 1,759
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Hospices are a good place to take your father in his last few days.
So much better care and love is shown there than you could ever find on the NHS.
Mar 31st 2007, 5:46 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Some great replies here, thanks, This is great advice, and a avenue we hadn't thought of I'll pass this on to my Brother.
It's the dignity and independence and the ability to control ones destiny,that seems to be the most important thing to my Father at present.
Thanks to everyone, that has replied with heartfelt stories.
Mar 31st 2007, 5:47 pm
#8
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
My dad passed away in a hospice in Macclesfield it was very dignified and they take such good care of the folks in there, in the bed opposite was my old boss from my apprenticeship days he passed away a few days before my dad.
Hospices are a good place to take your father in his last few days.
So much better care and love is shown there than you could ever find on the NHS.
Hospices are a good place to take your father in his last few days.
So much better care and love is shown there than you could ever find on the NHS.
Kim
Mar 31st 2007, 5:54 pm
#9
Loving it in SA
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Seaford.....South Australia
Posts: 1,759
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Mar 31st 2007, 6:15 pm
#10
I'm now an Aussie too!!!
Joined: May 2006
Location: 'Home by the Sea' Elanora
Posts: 5,030
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Not sure where to begin with this one, as everyone will go through this situation, Parents wishes etc, Everyone will have their own opinion, I'm just typing randomnly to see what thoughts come out.... Right at this second it's pride.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Mar 31st 2007, 6:37 pm
#11
Fighting my corner
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 11,948
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Not sure where to begin with this one, as everyone will go through this situation, Parents wishes etc, Everyone will have their own opinion, I'm just typing randomnly to see what thoughts come out.... Right at this second it's pride.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
Just had a mind blowing conversation, with my almost 80 YO father, (turns 80 on the 12th April) a very strong willed, and together man, who has managed to master the internet and computers in the last 12 years. (only put that part in to show how determined and together he is)
Turns out what I suspected was true, he has had prostate cancer for the last 10 years, which has now taken a nasty turn for the worse. He never told me about it until today, but I had kind of guessed. He told me in a matter of fact way, that he also doesnt want his body "phucked" around with, doesnt want any further treatment. (like his prostate removed) He wants to go, upright, proud, with all his faculties, which obviously will get worse if he gets treatment at his age. (I know lots of people will disagree with the "getting worse" scenario that he depicts, however its hardly going to get better is it )
He straight out asked his doctor for Euthanasia, the Doctor of course said we cannot do this, My dad said "stuff you I'm off to Holland then", the Doctor then seeing my Father was serious, told him "It's Switzerland anyway".
My Dad, now wants to take my much younger Brother (10 years difference) and residing in England, and I to Switzerland with him. Talked to my Brother, who knows my Fathers mind as well as I. We are both willing to go.
It's going to be one hell of a year this one.
Doubt If I will talk about this subject anymore, the thing is I'm so willing to go along with his wishes, It's like the ultimate act of love.
It's only just starting to hit me now. I'm fine, just wondered if anyone else had been close to something like this and whether it's a real option.
My father committed suicide when he decided that he couldn't go on any longer. I respected him for it then, and still do.
Mar 31st 2007, 7:30 pm
#12
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Kim
Mar 31st 2007, 7:47 pm
#13
Fighting my corner
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 11,948
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
He was bi-polar ("manic depressive" in the old terminology) and suffering from the onset of acute schizophrenia.
His decision to take his own life came at the end of several extremely difficult years during which he was made redundant as a result of his medical condition, and suffered periods of severe epilepsy as a side-effect of his anti-depressant medication.
He chose to kill himself because the alternative (a slow, inexorable decline into complete mental breakdown) was intolerable.
Mar 31st 2007, 7:52 pm
#14
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
Thanks mate, but to be honest it was more of a relief than anything.
He was bi-polar ("manic depressive" in the old terminology) and suffering from the onset of acute schizophrenia.
His decision to take his own life came at the end of several extremely difficult years during which he was made redundant as a result of his medical condition, and suffered periods of severe epilepsy as a side-effect of his anti-depressant medication.
He chose to kill himself because the alternative (a slow, inexorable decline into complete mental breakdown) was intolerable.
He was bi-polar ("manic depressive" in the old terminology) and suffering from the onset of acute schizophrenia.
His decision to take his own life came at the end of several extremely difficult years during which he was made redundant as a result of his medical condition, and suffered periods of severe epilepsy as a side-effect of his anti-depressant medication.
He chose to kill himself because the alternative (a slow, inexorable decline into complete mental breakdown) was intolerable.
must have been a really tough time for all involved. people with mental health problems always seem to get the thin end of the wedge. you seem to have come to terms with it.
Kim
Mar 31st 2007, 9:13 pm
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 129
Re: When 12,500 miles is at it's furthest.
truly sad ossie
if it means anything to you i would do the same as you and take your dad to switzerland if thats what he wants.
at the very least you will be able to say all the things you ever wanted to say.
most of us never get the chance.
if it means anything to you i would do the same as you and take your dad to switzerland if thats what he wants.
at the very least you will be able to say all the things you ever wanted to say.
most of us never get the chance.