Can anyone give us much needed advice???

Briefly we emmigrated to the Gold Coast, Australia in 2004, to join family members after 2 brief holidays.

Although extremely homesick, we soldiered on, buying our own house which we felt would help us settle. Sadly we had to return to the UK in 2006 for a funeral. The UK, at that time, didn't seem any different, we loved catching up with people and places and eating lots. At that time we DID NOT want to return to Australia, but due to committments we had to.

The UK, for us, never went away and eventually in 2010 we made the move back, convincing ourselves this was the right thing to do and had no doubts whatsoever.

So here we are, 6 months back in the UK (Suffolk) staying with friends. We decided to get Christmas out of the way, arriving back late October, then start our job/house hunting.

Still job-less, still house-less - MY GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE???

The UK has changed so much, my wife is still looking for Dolcis and Ravels, when did they go? Absolutely nothing here, even re-visiting old haunts, isn't remotely how we loved and remembered it.

So to this present day, Monday the 4th April, we have sold our car, booked flights for the 11th, removals AGAIN tomorrow - we haven't even unpacked them, only arriving January. We are in TURMOIL to say the least. My job is still waiting for me back in Aus, but is going back the RIGHT THING TO DO???

I have to briefly say there were lots of issues Downunder, especially for my wife, which is one of the main reasons for returning to so called home.

We are running out of time, having googled and found this site, we know we are not alone, do most Brits return just for friends and family, which isn't the case for us and we have no children. Lots there are happy and would never come back, lots there are sad and would.

How desperate are we for help and advice ... well this morning we were both picking coloured straws from a plastic bag - pink for Aus, yellow for the UK, which really didn't help.

SERIOUSLY, PLEASE, PLEASE CAN ANYONE ADVISE US - it's a living nightmare inside our heads right now.

Have a cup of tea

Well, if you have no kids and your family isnt really a magnet and you have a job in Aus which you dont in UK, I'd say it was a no brainer at this economic time. I'd be the last person to suggest returning to live in Aus if it didnt work for you last time because I loathe it here (being trapped here does that to you) but if your opportunities here are better then take them. It doesnt have to be forever, you might be able to pack up and return when things arent quite so hard in UK as they are at the moment. It's a shame really because economically there has never been a better time to move back to UK and you probably wont see that again for a long time.

Good luck.

(Personally I'd be snapping up something in rural Suffolk and you would never budge me but I dont need a job and that is probably the clincher!!!)

No one can say if its the right thing to do - but wherever you live, you have to commit to it fully, even if you tell yourself that its only for the next 2 years, or whatever time period you can live with.

If you try to live your life hankering over something somewhere else, it leads to misery for all. I know that's easier said than done!

As Quoll says, if you have a job waiting for you in Australia and you're struggling to find work in the UK, then it makes sense to head back to Australia. But only you (or perhaps your wife) can know if the offer of employment is enough to make up for whatever issues she had with Australia the first time round.

Hi Tod,

You poor things - being in such a dilemma. Don't know if it helps but I read once years ago in a newspaper about migrating to Australia, that about half of British migrants return to the UK, then out of those, 50% return to Australia for a second go, and the second time they settle down happily with no regrets. Therefore that means approx 75% do make a go of it. You and your wife may be in the the category that makes it the second time round. Good luck!

Chill out! It's not a life and death situation is it? It's only living in one country or another.
I suspect you have rose coloured specs on about the England you left... things move on and change.
What issues did your wife have in Aus that made you want to return?

oh you poor thing! hope it all gets better.

I personally dont think you've given it long enough, you gave aus longer to settle into, why not do the same with the u.k

But I thought Canberra was great?????

What were ythe issues that made your wife so unhappy she wanted to return to the UK? How will you address those issues second time round as they surely will still be there?
Good luck with your move, hopefully it is second time lucky but as others have said, it still need not be forever.

a) Consider yourselves fortunate to have a free choice of 2 countries that you can live in and one where there is a job. And be able to afford to bounce between them.

b) Pick one and commit to it, either one, doesn't make a blind bit of difference.

You really are very lucky having choices, so many people dont...

Cant advise you what to do... I know that inspite of the issues and the home sickness we are happier here... We were happy (also in suffolk), but we have kids who are living the australian dream... A home, jobs and each other... There isnt an alternative for us...

cant imagine being back there with the job situationand e current economic climate....

Good luck with whatever you guys decide to do....

How long do you hang on without work though? Especially when you know you have a job here.

Yup, best of a bad lot!

Sorry, I can't help you much with your decision other than for you to each write pros and cons lists. Hopefully they'll help you decide. Personally the job would sway it for me.

I think the hardest thing about becoming an expat is many find themselves forever disjointed from their homeland and they never quite feel at home in their adopted country either.

Sometimes I think I must live in the best place in Australia.