Ok... No matter WHERE you are in the world train travel has it's own set of rules... Written and unwritten...

In perf... Boarders stand back and wait til the disembarkers have left the train... They don't push through the middle of the exiting crowd to bags the seats on the shady side

They also DONT try and reserve seats in front and behind their own two for the gaggle of batches traveling with them, who also barged past people waiting patiently ..... Sorry love, I can accept the fact your friend will be sitting next to you, but you aren't entitled to tell anyone not to sit behind you or in front of you because you want to sit together!

You DONT loudly ask some one who has a seat if they will give it up for your able bodied mate so they can sit near to you.... Sorry... Not giving up my seat on the left on the way home to bake so you can gossip....

You don't ask some one who has been at work all day to give up their seat for a teenager in school uniform who has paid a 50ct fare because they "don't travel well and HAVE to have a forward facing seat" Hate to tell you this but your darling is expected to offer their seat to a full fare paying adult if there are no available seats... ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE STUFFING THEIR FACES WITH MACDONALDS.....

And just because you have overloaded yourself with outsized packages and exhausted yourself overdoing the Christmas shopping you shouldn't ask an elderly gentleman if you can sit down in his seat! FFS!

Then we have the blocking the gangways when the train has seats brigade... And the spraying hairspray in the enclosed space brigade and the yelling at the top of their voices on their mobile phone brigade....


I may be becoming a grumpy old woman, but my journeys home are becoming a bloody nightmare..... We don't have issues like these on the 0547 TO perf... When it's all shift workers, business suits and tradies...

It's when the me me me me me middle-aged women who have had a jolly time being ladies that lunch and shop and expect their privileged lifestyle to continue all the flucking way home that get me


Ok... Rant over..... Til this time tomorrow

A very entetaining read. Thank you.

Very polite on my trains.

The kids don't even bother sitting down unless it's really empty, and then they'll stand up if there's any likelihood of someone else wanting to sit down.

The quiet carriage is quiet.

The kids used to do this on my bus route in Brisbane too.

Melbourne is very different...train or tram, the kids have most of the seats and they aint moving!

The kids on the train home USUALLY can't be faulted... Extremely polite ...it the bloody middle aged women who have no manners

I would relish the middle aged 'lunching' brigade to try that with me, especially at the moment.



Train journeys can be difficult - this is raking up memories.

I have identified a noter group of travellers to be a voided.

Young mums with uncontrolled ankle biters....


It's YOUR FLUCKIN CHILD... NOT MINE.... I do not wish to play with it... Interact with it...or have it put it's sticky paws all over my lovely vintage leather country road handbag...

Please note. A train is not a secure play area for unsupervised children.

They require as much parental control as ANYWHERE you find civilized humans in a confined space...

And allowing your scarcely knee high child to run and weave in-between elderly people who are negotiating the journey up stairs and down stairs between platforms may WELL result in it being damaged...as well as the elderly traveller.... You're the parent... Take responsibility for it...


I have child slobber on my work trousers

Reminds me of the time I was on a plane to Cyprus and the woman behind me let her kid run up and down the aisle of the plane and I was curled up on the aisle seat and the kid kept tugging my hair.

I asked the mother to control her kid but it fell on deaf ears. However the cabin crew were not quite so polite and 'told' her, rather than asked and they didnt do it nicely either.

As you say, their kid, their responsibility.

Himself's train journey home tonight was quite interesting. There was a group of late teens, a couple of them drinking those ready made Jack and cokes. Two of the others declared 'lets go get a smoke' and wandered off to the toilet.

Next thing, a fully hi-vized 'tradie' walks down the carriage towards them, pulls up his vest, shows his badge and gives them on the spot $400 fines each for drinking alcohol on the train.

Another fully hi-vized 'tradie' appeared from the direction of the toilets, escorting the would-be smokers - $250 fines each. Apparently plain clothes police rather than transport police too.

So.. if there's a sudden influx of tradies in your carriage, hide your booze and fags

Love it.

Do they sort out the ankle biters too? Now THEY need locking up

Ye have toilets on your trains.

You don't have them on yours?

They're disgusting places, but yes, there's definitely toilets on all the trains on our line, at least.

Not on Transperth we dont, but you are right, toilets on trains are usually disgusting.

No. Our trains are just inner city type trains. You'll see when you guys come visit.