Re: Too far from the UK
 

Now the kidneys are not working properly, so the docs have restricted him to 750 ml of fluid per day. They say his sodium is very low, but they don't think he will ever regain his full faculties. He is depressed, frustrated and aggressive. My poor sister has had to leave the last two times, and is now herself on anti depressants. My mum thinks it is a deliberate ploy by the hospital to kill him.

Still no biopsy results.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

:( I do sympathise Caroline, must be very hard to deal with, even if you were there it would be hard. No idea what to suggest but you know we're all here to listen to you having a rant or whatever.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

It must be so tough for you Caroline.As you know we are going through similar with my Dad.He is now in a hospice and has had some very tough days.My sister nearly rang me on Sunday to tell me to come home.It was his birthday on Tuesday and I got to speak to him.He sounded ok and as the evening went on his mood improved.They put him on new tablets.My head is all over the place as is the rest of the family.I so hope you get some answers and positive news soon.Lots of us have, and are going through what you are so confide anytime.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

So sorry to hear what you are all going through. With regards to going back for visits maybe you need to ask yourself if I can only afford to make one trip when should it be? It's probably one of the harder decisions to ever make but but by not making it you have in effect left only one choice.

In 5 years time will you feel better for being there at this time, helping your family and having a bit of time together with your Dad or do you feel it's more important to remember him as he was last time you saw him, be there to sort things after he passes and support your sister then? No-one has the crystal ball to know for sure but make the best choices you can with the information you have now. And it's YOUR choice not any us on here,your sister's, the neighbour's or the woman at the corner store's to make and none of us have the right to say which is right or wrong for YOU.

Wishing your family all the peace they can have in the circumstances

Re: Too far from the UK
 

Thanks everyone for the support and advice, and my heartfelt sympathies to all who face or have faced this situation.

Trouble is, if I go back now, he is not going to really recognise me, and he is so paranoid and confused that my sister has had to leave on the last three occasions, and she says it is getting really hard to go and see him as he gets so aggressive.

Think the decision has been made for me.:thumbdown:

Re: Too far from the UK
 

Update.....the hospital want to kick dad out. They say the dementia is permanent. His sodium levels are low again, having got better, so he is back on the restricted fluids. He is also refusing to eat or drink unless forced, and is now incontinent (bladder). I almost wish that he would go with a heart attack, as we always thought he would: he and my sister are suffering so much. Now she has to try to find the funds and a place that will give him the care he needs, and get some form of guardianship so she can sell his car and his things.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

the docs say they think the cancer has spread to the meninges in dad's brain. He has become increasingly violent- turned the fire extinguishers on people and smashed their computer. The have given him less than a year, and maybe as little as 6 weeks if it is a form of meningitis. They can't scan him to check whether it is cancer cells, tumour or the meningeal inflammation as they would have to sedate him so heavily he might not survive. However, they also have to reasses him again, so he is in the hospital for a bit longer.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

Thats so tough.I really dont know what else to say to you.:(

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Is it wrong to wish that it was the thing that would kill him quickly? The slow decline from dementia is horrid for my sister and brother to watch. I'm sheltered here on the other side of the world. Both my sister and I were hoping that they would scan him, and if he died it would be a mercy, but then, it is wishing someone dead, which is not a nice thing to do.
How is your dad irish? Thinking of you and sending virtual (((hugs)))

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So sorry for the people who have so much sorrow on this tread, I honestly feel for you.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

Thank you.

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Caroline,I dont think wishing your Dad dead in his case a bad thing.You are wishing for his suffering to be over.That I understand.I recently said to mine that I would hope for one more Christmas for my father.Then I realised that I wasnt really thinking about him.What would be the point if his quality of life was so poor for him.Hes ok for the moment.He is still in the hospice.Will know more on Wednesday when he has his scan.:fingerscrossed:Mum has been in hospital for two weeks as she has fluid on her lungs.I am waiting for someone to ring me and tell me the dog is at the vets.:ohmy:

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Hope that you get good news.
The doctor's surgery has rung and wants to see me today, Sunday, despite me having an appointment for Monday. Wonder what was in my blood tests- or do they just want to charge me sunday rates??:blink::fingerscrossed:

Re: Too far from the UK
 

No, in those circumstances it isn't. When my dad was in a hospice with inoperable cancer he was put on morphine to manage the pain, the doctor did say that many people didn't like that as it could shorten life, but their thought was that a slightly shorter life without pain was better that a longer one with. He was well looked after and at least died peacefully.

Re: Too far from the UK
 

Well, I did go to the docs, and then straight to hospital. My white cell count was dangerously low and they were worried I was about to expire. I'm not dead yet, and back home today, with white cells up a bit.

Still feel pretty rough, but that is all the stress. Got to see the neurologist and my GP and have more tests- referral to a haematologist to see why my blood is misbehaving.

Could do without all this really. Anyone got a nice big stone I can crawl under????