British Expats - Too far from the UK

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British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)

- The Barbie (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/)

- - Too far from the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/too-far-uk-727792/)

carolinephillips

Aug 8th 2011 10:14 am

Re: Too far from the UK

:rofl:

It is more like a lot of effort for what comes out eventually as a slightly rusty squeak.

Jensanco

Aug 8th 2011 10:16 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9545735)

:rofl:

It is more like a lot of effort for what comes out eventually as a slightly rusty squeak.

awwww

Jensanco

Aug 8th 2011 10:17 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jensanco (Post 9545740)

awwww

Was this her in her prime?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhOAY...eature=related

PLease do not watch if you disike bad language

carolinephillips

Aug 8th 2011 10:21 am

Re: Too far from the UK

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

(I don't like bad language, but that is just so funny!!!)

Jensanco

Aug 8th 2011 10:38 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9545745)

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

(I don't like bad language, but that is just so funny!!!)

your laughing so i've done mme job an off to bed xxxx

Dorothy

Aug 8th 2011 4:33 pm

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9545660)

Thanks again for the kind thoughts - I'm sorry that I've dragged up so many painful memories for you all.

. My sister will not hear of him going into a nursing home, so I'll have to work gently on that respite thought.

As Jen said, don't be sorry. The people on here were a great help when my dad was dying. Just to be able to write out what you're feeling helps a lot.

Respite doesn't need to be overnight or out of his home. The nurses can come in for an hour or two so your sister can have a shower or go shopping or just have a nap! Your dad doesn't have to go into a nursing home for your family to have help. When my dad was getting to be too much for my mom to care for they were very opposed to any help. But we (my brother, the GP and I) asked her to just speak to the nurses to see what they could offer. They could always say no if they don't want it right now but at least they would know what's available when/if the time comes.

moneypenny20

Aug 8th 2011 4:36 pm

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9545660)

Thanks again for the kind thoughts - I'm sorry that I've dragged up so many painful memories for you all.

Mum is the other side of the county to dad, and doesn't even use the phone we got her, so I only ever write to her. She has offered to look after my dad when it gets too much for Jane, but she is not really up to it either. My sister will not hear of him going into a nursing home, so I'll have to work gently on that respite thought. My brother has offered to do up mum's house so it is more suitable for him. Mum has nursed him (despite being divorced) before when he had all his heart problems- we honestly thought he'd die 20 years ago of a heart attack, so he has had extra time. Mum also cared for her partner when he became terminally ill with a brain tumour- collapsed on my wedding day would you believe, and died 3 months later at her home. However she is now not very healthy herself, is 23 years older, and has an aging incontinent cat, so her house is more like a hovel!

Dad tends to be awake late morning to mid afternoon, but due to the time difference, I'm asleep!

There's only nine hours difference at the moment, if you're an early to bed person, you'd only have to stay up till 10 at the latest, if you let your sister know you were going to ring at that time, she could be there and help both of you with the call.

As others have said, there's little you could do if you were there so honestly try not to beat yourself up about it too much especially if he's being snotty with those who are there. If he's anything like my dad was, he's probably peed off that people are rushing around on his behalf so a nice friendly, non 'helping hand' chat about general rubbish may be just what he needs.

carolinephillips

Aug 9th 2011 10:44 am

Re: Too far from the UK

I go to bed at 8:30, as I find it physically impossible to stay awake- often I'm asleep on the sofa by 7pm. Not sure I can actually manage 10pm. (It's the sheer physical exhaustion of getting through the day with MS.)

moneypenny20

Aug 9th 2011 11:24 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9548883)

Sorry forgot the MS there. :(

irishbloo

Aug 9th 2011 11:57 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 9548883)

Caroline,email the nurses for updates.Explain your situation.They will be very understanding Im sure.As you know my Dad is going through similar but with throat cancer.Try and stay positive,I know its hard.The problem we had recently with Dad is that he couldnt eat.He went down to seven stone while I was there in July.He got readmitted to hospital.Last night we were celebrating as he has put a stone on.My sister went out at 9.30 last night to check him and he was bickering with my mother.:thumbsup:Back to normal.
Dont me too hard on yourself.Get plenty of rest when you can.:fingerscrossed:

irishbloo

Aug 9th 2011 12:02 pm

Re: Too far from the UK

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 9546351)

Good advice Dorothy.Sometimes the fear of going in to a nursing home is that the patient may never come back out.Eventually after much persuasion my Dad allowed a nurse to come and see him weekly.The only thing we had to make sure is that my mother didnt bombard her with all her aches and pains.:D

koalakim

Aug 9th 2011 1:05 pm

Re: Too far from the UK

Hi there

Just wanted to say sorry to hear about your family and their health.

I would say if help is offered, whatever it maybe be by social services and the hospitals please encourage them to take some of it. They can't do it all on their own and letting go is tough but sometimes you can do more harm than good in trying to care for another when you have health problems yourself. Just having someone in for a couple of hours whilst your sister and Mum can have a break and some quiet time will help so much.

Shame your Mum has problems with the phone as just a chat can help so much but then again a letter is nice and it only takes a few days to reach the UK these days. I'm sure that they will understand that you can't help them physically but I'm sure they know you would if you could.

I hope they all get on okay, bit of a shock thinking it's a torn muscle and turns out to be that.

Good luck.

Tina7

Aug 9th 2011 10:03 pm

Re: Too far from the UK

I'm sorry to hear of this. Hope things improve.

Kapri

Aug 10th 2011 5:50 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Caroline, I just wanted to say sorry for your news. It's hard to watch a parent go through cancer and must be ten times worse if you are so far away.

(((hugs)))

carolinephillips

Aug 10th 2011 9:20 am

Re: Too far from the UK

Thanks again all you lovely people.

At the moment, because the diagnosis is so new, no nurses or treatment (palliative radiotherapy or hormones) are actually in place.

Dad sees the urologist on Friday, so things may start moving then. It depends what he says about his prostate.

Mum and dad are divorced, as neither of them could stand each other when together, but since the divorce (33 years ago) get on a lot better. My mum is very hard going , and is basically like a child. No grey areas or compromise. And whatever illness you have she has always had a worse one. Not sure she can top dad's though.

I love her, but couldn't live with her again.

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