Toilet humour.
Oct 13th 2006, 8:23 pm
#46
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by snowbunny
Was the "no water" sign in Italian or English, Sam? 
It was in English.
Oct 13th 2006, 8:37 pm
#47
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Oz -> UK -> San Diego
Posts: 9,912
Re: Toilet humour.
Fabulous thread!!!
Oct 13th 2006, 8:48 pm
#48
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
I remember when my cat Gordon ate some tinsel off the tree. Hubby and I were terrified he would get an obstruction and we watched that poor cat every time he shat in his litter tray.
The next day, when he went for a dump, I spotted some shimmering tinsel making a grand entrance from his arse.
Calling hubby, we both proceeded to watch as Gordon gave an 'anal birthing' to a 12 inch piece of tinsel.
And who says that shit doesnt shine!
The next day, when he went for a dump, I spotted some shimmering tinsel making a grand entrance from his arse.
Calling hubby, we both proceeded to watch as Gordon gave an 'anal birthing' to a 12 inch piece of tinsel.
And who says that shit doesnt shine!
Oct 13th 2006, 8:53 pm
#49
Sunny Sydney
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I remember when my cat Gordon ate some tinsel off the tree. Hubby and I were terrified he would get an obstruction and we watched that poor cat every time he shat in his litter tray.
The next day, when he went for a dump, I spotted some shimmering tinsel making a grand entrance from his arse.
Calling hubby, we both proceeded to watch as Gordon gave an 'anal birthing' to a 12 inch piece of tinsel.
And who says that shit doesnt shine!
The next day, when he went for a dump, I spotted some shimmering tinsel making a grand entrance from his arse.
Calling hubby, we both proceeded to watch as Gordon gave an 'anal birthing' to a 12 inch piece of tinsel.
And who says that shit doesnt shine!
Oct 13th 2006, 8:57 pm
#50
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
I think the worst thing Gordon has eaten is about 8 inches of thick rubber band.
I made sure he passed that as well, save hundreds on surgery.
I made sure he passed that as well, save hundreds on surgery.
Oct 13th 2006, 10:10 pm
#51
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Joined: May 2005
Location: Kirkcaldy Fife to Kingsley Perth
Posts: 854
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by BertieB
PMSL - that's a cracker
If i need to go i usually nip into the disabled toilet as there is never a queue waiting outside so its unlikely someone will nip in after you lol
Oct 13th 2006, 10:36 pm
#52
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Joined: May 2004
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 465
Re: Toilet humour.
My most recent embarrassing bowel moment/movement was in 2003 when we were on holiday in Jamaica. I had a dodgy tummy which I'd tried to ignore, and one morning in bed I felt the urge to fart, as you do, only it was rather more solid (for that read runny) and went all over the bedsheets! I was mortifed and had to ask hubby to wake up and get out of bed so I could strip it. I then proceeded to try and wash it off in the bathroom so the maid wouldn't think how disgusting we were. Unfortunately that same morning I had another attack and went running to the loo to offload it, only when I came to flush the loo it just filled up instead of disappearing. The water got higher and higher and eventually overflowed from the bowl all over the bathroom floor. I was even more mortified because the water contained all the remnants of my diarrhoea-ridden dump, the smell was appalling and I had to cover my extreme embarrassment and ask for the on-site plumber to come and unblock it! We then made a hasty exit to the bar and didn't go back till we thought it was safe. When we eventually got back to the cottage the plumber was still there, he'd just shoved a large plunger down the bowl and freed the blockage, he was very nice about it but there was still a mess in the bathroom, which we left for the cleaners to sort out! (Having tried to soak up the worst with the bath towels).
At the time it wasn't very funny, but oh how we laugh about it now ...
Unfortunately that same morning I had another attack and went running to the loo to offload it, only when I came to flush the loo it just filled up instead of disappearing. The water got higher and higher and eventually overflowed from the bowl all over the bathroom floor. I was even more mortified because the water contained all the remnants of my diarrhoea-ridden dump, the smell was appalling and I had to cover my extreme embarrassment and ask for the on-site plumber to come and unblock it! We then made a hasty exit to the bar and didn't go back till we thought it was safe. When we eventually got back to the cottage the plumber was still there, he'd just shoved a large plunger down the bowl and freed the blockage, he was very nice about it but there was still a mess in the bathroom, which we left for the cleaners to sort out! (Having tried to soak up the worst with the bath towels).At the time it wasn't very funny, but oh how we laugh about it now ...
Oct 13th 2006, 10:44 pm
#53
Banned
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,140
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I reckon you could have fit a whole human head up some of their bums.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:05 pm
#54
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by Britishaussie
My most recent embarrassing bowel moment/movement was in 2003 when we were on holiday in Jamaica. I had a dodgy tummy which I'd tried to ignore, and one morning in bed I felt the urge to fart, as you do, only it was rather more solid (for that read runny) and went all over the bedsheets! I was mortifed and had to ask hubby to wake up and get out of bed so I could strip it. I then proceeded to try and wash it off in the bathroom so the maid wouldn't think how disgusting we were. Unfortunately that same morning I had another attack and went running to the loo to offload it, only when I came to flush the loo it just filled up instead of disappearing. The water got higher and higher and eventually overflowed from the bowl all over the bathroom floor. I was even more mortified because the water contained all the remnants of my diarrhoea-ridden dump, the smell was appalling and I had to cover my extreme embarrassment and ask for the on-site plumber to come and unblock it! We then made a hasty exit to the bar and didn't go back till we thought it was safe. When we eventually got back to the cottage the plumber was still there, he'd just shoved a large plunger down the bowl and freed the blockage, he was very nice about it but there was still a mess in the bathroom, which we left for the cleaners to sort out! (Having tried to soak up the worst with the bath towels).
At the time it wasn't very funny, but oh how we laugh about it now ...
Unfortunately that same morning I had another attack and went running to the loo to offload it, only when I came to flush the loo it just filled up instead of disappearing. The water got higher and higher and eventually overflowed from the bowl all over the bathroom floor. I was even more mortified because the water contained all the remnants of my diarrhoea-ridden dump, the smell was appalling and I had to cover my extreme embarrassment and ask for the on-site plumber to come and unblock it! We then made a hasty exit to the bar and didn't go back till we thought it was safe. When we eventually got back to the cottage the plumber was still there, he'd just shoved a large plunger down the bowl and freed the blockage, he was very nice about it but there was still a mess in the bathroom, which we left for the cleaners to sort out! (Having tried to soak up the worst with the bath towels).At the time it wasn't very funny, but oh how we laugh about it now ...
PMSL
I reckon it was the pipes being too narrow and unable to cope with a good decent sized Western Jobby.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:12 pm
#55
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Posts: 982
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
I think the worst thing Gordon has eaten is about 8 inches of thick rubber band.
I made sure he passed that as well, save hundreds on surgery.
I made sure he passed that as well, save hundreds on surgery.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:17 pm
#56
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by flipflop
when my dog nala was a pup, she used to eat her own poo, and when she was having a rather large poo out came a crayon,a sock and a pebble.
That is one habit my little whippet never had thank god.
Good job we dont eat our own poo.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:32 pm
#57
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
God I must tell you.
My builder is here putting in a new kitchen door. He disappeared to the toilet for twenty minutes and has just emerged.
My flat now smells like a bad stomach, he has seriously made the worst smell of faeces I have ever smelt.
Abdel has gone into hiding in the other room and you can even hear the cat saying 'Jesus christ, has a rat crawled up his arse' and is now covering his mouth up with his ginger paw.
Someone please get me the 'bowel police'.
My builder is here putting in a new kitchen door. He disappeared to the toilet for twenty minutes and has just emerged.
My flat now smells like a bad stomach, he has seriously made the worst smell of faeces I have ever smelt.
Abdel has gone into hiding in the other room and you can even hear the cat saying 'Jesus christ, has a rat crawled up his arse' and is now covering his mouth up with his ginger paw.
Someone please get me the 'bowel police'.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:41 pm
#58
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,635
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by flipflop
when my dog nala was a pup, she used to eat her own poo, and when she was having a rather large poo out came a crayon,a sock and a pebble.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:45 pm
#59
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by sassycat
My pup eats the cat shit out of the tray - always know when he's had a nibble - his shit has litter in it
Im going to vomit right now.
If you could smell my toilet now, you would be sick. Im sure my builder has E Coli of the bowel, this cannot be normal.
Oct 13th 2006, 11:48 pm
#60
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,635
Re: Toilet humour.
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Im going to vomit right now.
If you could smell my toilet now, you would be sick. Im sure my builder has E Coli of the bowel, this cannot be normal.
If you could smell my toilet now, you would be sick. Im sure my builder has E Coli of the bowel, this cannot be normal.
