ozzieeagle

Ditto mate Ditto, We've been through this 4 times now. We ended up not going were people wouldn't move their things. Because they are the ones that are the most critical and least understanding. If a youngster comes to our place these days, we will always move the valuables, and give them things to play with.

It's pretty hard to relax with a 2-4 year old around anyway, so it's almost not worth the effort of visiting when they are that age, It's best that you be visited.


Having said that, the OP, could keep the visits mostly outside maybe, in the garden or entertaining area.

Keith&Lol

Sorry Buzzy forgot to answer your question, would agree with most and move anything you do not want broken, we have a small catch on the top of the door and we use this to stop them going in our bedroom when they have their friends over, so we put everything in there and then put them back when thev'e gone.

You have to have some privacy and a safe haven Lol x

MrsDagboy

I can understand the suicidal thing, even without being pregnant again . Can't even imagine having another baby now .

Dont know how old Frasers kids are, but I dont think they go to school yet, I agree that school is a godsend, even if only that it gives the mother a break from the problem! Ours still have problems at school, but we try to work with the school to sort them out as early as possible as presenting a united front helps alot when its behavioural.

We're very lucky that they really love school as they crave knowledge, so it keeps them occupied, them learning to read was the biggest bonus to us that I think has happened.

fraser

They're four and two and we've been with them without a break since August 3rd

willmore

I dont know how much sending katie to nursery school has really helped. We thought that perhaps the socialization with other kids and activities would keep her occupied and interested. Instead she has been even more defiant - walked out of the classroom twice declaring that she's heading for the beach. She is really bored with the work and therefore is acting out because of it. She's the type of kid with a very short attention span who needs to be kept challenged or all hell breaks out ! It is working out that she is helping the other kids in the class with different projects, which is ok.

We have been called to the school more times than I can count this past term. We are hoping that she will settle down a bit more this term.

Keith&Lol

My first parents evening was an eye opener as I thought the teacher was talking about a different Shaun and when I pulled her up she was quite insistent she was talking about the right child, how clever he was and how helpful and polite, I nearly burst into tears I was so relieved, I actually thought I would never be out the headmistresses office. That was 6 yrs ago, my son is 11 and the baby is now 9 Lol x

ozzieeagle

Imagine our surprise, when our 2nd Daughter was 10, that the bout of flu/virus that the wife thought she had turned out to be our 3rd child at 16 weeks gestation.

We knew exactly what was coming, re disruption etc, than the wife got all clucky again, and insisted that the new one needed a playmate.

Not good for the finances I can tell you.

Moral is, never ever buy an outdoor spa. as it totally stuffs up the "billings method"

Keith&Lol

Or think snuggling up at Christmas when youv'e had a few is harmless Lol x

ozzieeagle

Lol, a big suprise in Santa's sack that day.

Keith&Lol

Lol

MrsDagboy

Our boys have ODD as well as their ADHD, so I know where you are coming from with the defiance thing :scared: . Preschool for our boys was OK for one, but the other one still had problems, alot like your daughter. It was when we first put them on medication, so they improved quite a bit (they nearly got thrown out of daycare the year before ), but there were still behavioural & attention issues. I got called in a few times, once was even for an apology as the teacher had slapped him because he was pinching her really hard on the inside of the leg & wouldnt let go . (I don't have any problem with what the teacher did FWIW)

It was only when they started Year 1 that things did start to improve a lot, partly due to more work that was able to keep them occupied, but also due to the fact that we changed their medication to one that seemed to suit them better.

Their teachers both in Year1 & Year 2 have been really great, in fact one of them (Boy2Trouble1) won the class student of the year award this year, & is lucky enough to have the same teacher again next year. She understand the issues involved & is very attached to him which is nice to see.

Hopefully when your daughter goes into school proper the change in pace & change in educational styles (if there is one, like there is here), will help her settle in a bit better.

Fraser, you need to get them into a daycare or something, even if its only 1 or 2 days a week. If you arent working child care benefit will cover almost all of the cost & it will help Rachel to be able to go out & do groceries etc without the stress of having the boys along or even just relax! Seriously seriously seriously, find somewhere that has a vacancy & book them in, the $10 or so a week its going to cost you is worth more than all the tea in China to a woman who's badly stressed by kids.

Lol, that is a great story about your son, we have teacher/parent meetings usually 2 or 3 times a year (just us I mean, organised with our boys teachers) so we can sit down & properly discuss the issues that come up etc. I bet you were proud of him when she told you how well behaved he was at school .

(Sorry buzzy, we've dragged it slightly off-topic here!)

willmore

[QUOTE=MrsDagboy]Our boys have ODD as well as their ADHD, so I know where you are coming from with the defiance thing :scared: . Preschool for our boys was OK for one, but the other one still had problems, alot like your daughter. It was when we first put them on medication, so they improved quite a bit (they nearly got thrown out of daycare the year before ), but there were still behavioural & attention issues. I got called in a few times, once was even for an apology as the teacher had slapped him because he was pinching her really hard on the inside of the leg & wouldnt let go . (I don't have any problem with what the teacher did FWIW)


I appreciate your comments. As we have one gifted kid (5 year old male), we arent sure if katie has ADD or if she is truly bored and needs to be challenged with more difficult work. She has never hurt a teacher or herself in any way. She is very much like I was growing up. We've talked to so many parents that have kids with the same type of problems in different degrees, and many tell us that she needs to be evaluated to find out - which automatically happens before she enters grade one. One friend of ours whose son was very gifted had been disagnosed with ADD, and put on medication. It wasnt until after he got into grade one when he settled down, that they realized that it was only partially ADD, but more the case that he was truly bored.

banjo

Mrs Dagboy....what you've been saying is dead right! I used to be one of the judgemental ones in the supermarket who would wonder why parents didn't control their children (I never made any comments though)....and of course I always knew my children would NEVER do such things! YEAH RIGHT!

To all those yet to be parents......NEVER EVER judge someone elses badly behaved child it comes back to bite you.

My 3 yr old - well 4 in Feb - is perfect for everyone else except us.... Don't get me wrong, he has a lot of 'good' times, but also some REALLY bad times and this has been going on since he was 2yrs and 1mth. It was like Body Snatchers or something. My sweet little boy just transformed over night. But i kind of think they can't be good all the time so if they're going to be really awful then it's better they do it at home.

Fraser.....lots of sympathy with you being on duty 24/7 since Aug 3rd. That is one aspect of the move we never factored in when we planned to move out here....time off from the children.

MrsDagboy

Willmoore, sorry, I didnt mean to infer that your daughter had ADHD, only that I can understand the problem . We have certainly found that challenging the boys academically has helped as well, as their reading is about 3-4 years above their age average & they (one in particular) are very advanced in maths & science. Not gifted, but certainly well above average in certain things. But take away their medication & they cant even sit still long enough to write their name, that's the difference .

Banjo . I knew from the day they were born :scared: , so I've never known any better - everyone else just brushed it off. Must be hard if its just suddenly a change in behaviour .

fraser

Henry's been trouble since the day he was born as well