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-   -   and suddenly...second thoughts ! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/suddenly-second-thoughts-647009/)

wanderingwombat Jan 8th 2010 12:32 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by WillBlack (Post 8213996)

Townsville is so luvelly in winter.

You should see it at this time of year...:ohmy:
:rofl::rofl:
WW

Broad Shoulders Jan 8th 2010 1:14 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 
It's just human nature really, isn't it? Once you have kids and responsibilities you become more cautious about decisions in your life. Much like when you get a new job, you spend the whole interview period doing your hardest to get the job, then they offer it to you and suddenly you have fear of the unknown. I am lucky, as I came over here with no responsibilities or kids and so the move for me was simple and really exciting, but I know now that when I get offered new jobs I get that same fear as you as I have a lot riding on my shoulders. If you've planned this well and have good contingency plans then there shouldn't really be too much to worry about

Pollyana Jan 8th 2010 1:28 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by wanderingwombat (Post 8230586)
Townsville is so luvelly in winter.

You should see it at this time of year...:ohmy:
:rofl::rofl:
WW

A leetle damp maybe?:blink:

paulry Jan 8th 2010 1:56 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by tawkins1 (Post 8228294)
It is soooooooo normal to feel like this. The things you hate dont seem too bad at the moment cos you know that you are leaving them behind & thats why they dont bother you anymore... We were originally applying back in 2005 but my OH bottled it & wouldn't apply :frown: So June 2007 we finally did it & we have been here 11 weeks now & absolutely love it..... May sound really silly but I think facebook is fantastic especially for chatting to your friends & family on a daily basis, they are still there for advice & support even tho they are miles away... I also use Skype to speak to my mum & dad & for the kids to keep intouch...
It will all be good in the end. Get yourselves over here & start living the dream. My OH is now saying we should have done it years ago :sneaky:

I've just read this after asking how you were getting along in my k message. I'm really happy for you. I remember the stress that you went through during the last couple of months before you left the UK so it's great to hear that you are enjoying your new life there. You deserve it! :thumbsup:

wanderingwombat Jan 8th 2010 4:05 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 8230700)
A leetle damp maybe?:blink:

Brownsville. Damp??? :rofl::rofl:
Mt Isa upon Sea

WW

Kayelem Jan 8th 2010 11:46 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 8230415)
I remember the day our visa came through 19 months after applying for it - we were in South West Africa at the time and as soon as I got the news, all the waiting, hoping, planning of the past two years suddenly seemed insignificant - I felt physically sick because it had become real.

When I booked the flights I didnt feel the euphoria I thought I would feel, I felt devastated yet excited (now that doesnt make sense I know).

I then lived off the adrenaline that it takes to organise shippers, pet export and a new life, and while that was going on I would not allow myself to think of my family/friends.

We had our leaving party and family members were crying their eyes out - except me. My doctor had given me tablets to calm me down as I was going days without sleep, so I must have come across as hard and uncaring.

I remember my 15 year old neice hanging on to me telling me she loved me, I remember two of my friends going to the export kennels to drop my cat off and when I said goodbye to my cat, I was crying as the realisation hit me that I was crying because I was saying goodbye to my friends who are both in very poor health and looked so fragile standing by the cattery, crying at me crying at my cat:o

Then I said goodbye to my friends in Harrow when they dropped me off, one of my friends felt so frail as I hugged her and I felt like the worst friend ever for leaving her when I know how ill she is, I walked down the high street bawling like a kid while they drove off also crying.

The last real goodbye was saying goodbye to my Dad on the underground, he squeezed my shoulder and told me not to forget I have a dad who loves me in England.

I still felt numb and hugged him by the ticket barriers and said in a detached way 'Ill call you at the airport' and without even looking back I ran onto the train. Dad said one minute I was there and the next I was gone.

The last night in my flat was spent crying - Mr PP said he never thought it possible for someone to cry so much and for so long.

Mr PPs brother came to the airport with us and was tearful when he said goodbye which nearly set me off again. When we walked down the tunnel to get on our plane, I saw the plane and felt sick - I didnt know what to do, this took years in the planning - about 4 years, why did I feel like this?

By the time we landed in Perth airport I looked so ill, as though the past 4 years had caught up.

The first few weeks were spent 'plotting' rabies injections for the cat should I need an 'escape route' and more than once I craved the security of my tatty London rental house and it was sheer inner strength that kept me from bolting back.

My advice to you would be to make the most of every single second with your family, don't rub your new life abroad in their faces yet make it clear to them how much you will miss them.

Say it, mean it and do so every day because I so regret the drug induced detachment that took over me when I said goodbye to my dad at the underground.

If I could turn the clock back I would have hung on to him, spent more time with him instead of packing stupid boxes, and made that goodbye really count.

Because its been nearly 2 years now and I havent seen him, so much has happened to my family since then and I wish I had made more of an effort in the lead up to our migration to spend time with them.

They are not going to be happy for you Im afraid. You are leaving them and it takes great finance, time, distance and travel to see you and in the event of an emergency, there is no such thing as 'only 24 hours away' and they know it.

Do what you have to do for your family but please treasure these moments now.

Is it normal to feel like this? Hell yes.

(I still dream about my family most nights and love living in Perth, realise its my home but have a huge part of me tinged with sadness)

:o

WOW. I think you needed to write that down. Thanks for sharing. At the moment I am sooo stressed I have thought about tablets. I am taking calms at the moment but I am finding organising everything very hard and it seems to be work thatt I can't cope with at the moment and don't want to be there. I think that because there is no let up in my stress levels at home at the moment, I am then going to work already full of stress then adding to it at work, adding to it at home, then back to work I cannot destress. I am now leaving work at the end of April so I have 8 weeks purely at home to sort out final things.

Lyx Jan 9th 2010 9:08 pm

Re: and suddenly...second thoughts !
 

Originally Posted by Professional Princess (Post 8230415)
I remember the day our visa came through 19 months after applying for it................................................ ..........(I still dream about my family most nights and love living in Perth, realise its my home but have a huge part of me tinged with sadness)

:o

I've got tears in my eyes after reading this post.


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