Hello all,

Haven't been here for quite some time now. Anyway I wanted to ask if anyone here has struggled to settle in Australia and how did you end up finding happiness here?

I moved to Brisbane back in November 2008 to get married to my wonderful wife, and for the first year I struggled to settle which was to be expected, after all it was a new life, new way of life etc. Met some decent people through my wife and things picked up after the first year.

We've just had our first child, a boy 3 months ago but for the last 6 months I've felt lost here. I don't have much in common with the people I met through my wife and therefore meeting people has been difficult here, which for me is strange as I had a large social circle in the UK and making friends was never a problem for me. I've started to miss my family and friends back in the UK and the way of life here isn't really ''doing it'' for me anymore.

I just don't know what to do to make me feel better about living here. Any advice would be great.

Hi hun

It is hard at times but I suggest finding friends that will help. Try to find uk friends we have tried for 12 months to find oz friends and it is sooooooo hard so ask on here for meet ups etc which is what we are starting to do xx

Im back in Brisbane tomorrow. Living in Banyo. What do you do? Hobbies or anything? Im bringing my mountain bike with me to get back into riding, Im also joining the gym. Its pretty tricky on your own but I like to get out and do things.

And the birth of a bub is also unsettling if it is your first, as it is a massive change in lifestyle and responsibilities. Hang in there a bit longer and be proactive. Don't forget that building friendships takes years.

Thanks guys, yeah I never envisioned finding hard to make friends as it was always quite easy back in the UK.

I'm a big sports fanatic, particularly American sports and enjoy a bit of gaming. I also used to enjoy biking riding and have done a little fishing here which I enjoy.

I like the idea of going to a meet up though so will look around the forum to see if there are any going either in Brisbane or the Gold Coast.

There's the Christmas in July one on the Gold Coast.

I also keep being asked about another Brisbane one but when I posted on it last week I got a deafening silence looks like the only person interested is Bernie and he won't be here for another 12 months

If it's impacting your life, go and see your doctor and get a mental health plan and find a psych who can teach you some CBT/ACT strategies for managing the intruding thinking.

Otherwise you do, really, have to get off your butt and seek out people with similar interests to yourself (hard work after a day of hard work, unfortunately). You might also try volunteering at something - usually helps you get some perspective (SES, Rural Fire Service, Lifeline etc).

After 32 years in Australia I wont say that I found happiness - couldnt stand the place in the end - but I tolerated it for most of those years in the knowledge that there might be light at the end of the tunnel for me. Once I came to the conclusion I was trapped there then it became harder to live with and I survived by a sense of compromise with my DH which included him being responsible for funding my regular trips back where I did belong.

Dont let this ruin your relationship though - try and be as open with your OH as you can so she knows how you are feeling and hopefully you can work on this together.

Thanks Pollyana!

@qoull - I have spoken about it to my wife and funnily enough it was her that suggested I find an internet forum where there might be people with similar feelings to my own, and I then remember I used to post here a few years back.

I also found today a gaming event only 20 minutes from where I live that's on in 2 weeks time, plus there is a local american football team that I'm about to contact about details of where and when they play etc so that should help. Plus I am planning a trip back to the UK later in the year so will look forward to that.

Id be interested in both them! Where in Brisbane are you?

There is a huge ice skating, on the way from north bris just before you get to woody point ( redcliffe way ). Lots of american/ canadian players in the teams. Used to love going there when we lived that way.

Southside mate, Loganholme. You?

I think its quite a common experience you're having.....

I dont have so many friends I can "pop round for coffee".... Or anyone I went to school or uni with... Not even friends I trained with... Kinda sucks.

Local australians have a circle of people ...and a lot of those circles are closed to new members... I find with the australians its quite hard work maintaining a friendship of any depth... Requires a lot of effort on your part...as they have existing friends they can fall back on so to speak.... They dont appear to be natural pop round or fancy a beer.... More planned in their social activities...

My friends that I am closest to tend to be australians who have moved interstate to WA, poms and saffas... I used to have a good kiwi friend... But she went home....

Brisbane also has a baseball team that play in the national league if that's your game mate they were playing from the RNA Showgrounds at Bowen Hills last year if memory serves me right

My only real circle of (real life ) friends that don't revolve around school/parenting or ex-workmates comes from the cricket team I play for.

It's one of the first things my OH said to me, go and play for them and build some relationships. And, as ever, she has been proven right.

You can't beat the fun and banter of being a member of a friendly team.

Head for the Hyperdome, it seems to be full of Poms whenever I am there