Thank you Niki and eveyone.
It takes time to sink in. My mind is going through so much, sometimes lost with so many emotions and other times crystal clear. I wish I could find that clarity to help me decide what to do next. Funeral in a few days time or stay with my wife and kids to get them through the move in the next fortnight.

I just don't know, torn between responsibilities.

I think we've been here before C. You know what your father would tell you. Any other time and it would make sense for you to go, but now whilst your big move is imminent, there's only one place he would want you to be.

It's different this time. You only get one life.
And there is my mum to consider.

You do. Just one, tiny, precious life. That's it. Then it's gone.

Do your best. Don't have regrets. Live huge, love passionately and be true to yourself. Can't do much else.

One day Chris you will dance with your father again. .....Listen to the words .

Your a good man

YouTube - Luther Vandross Dance with my Father Again

My heart goes out to you Gedge....be strong for your family but dont forget about yourself.....do what you feel it right for you.

LibbyX

Absolutely but there is no right answer. Whatever you do, you will be worrying that you should be somewhere else. Where do Jules and your mum think you should be?

opposite sides of the world, but then they would tell me that irrespective of their own feelings
i guess only i can decide what is best, maybe not right but right enough for me to live with

best wishes


Lee

Chris I want you to think what you would want J to do in this situation. Then tell yourself to do the same.

I'm thinking of you, can understand why you are so torn, it's a horrible situation.

What a wonderful accolade for your dad - to have left a legacy of resilience is more than most of us can hope to achieve as parents.

I can understand your dilemma - my parents have always said not to bother getting there once they have gone because there is no point. I see it differently - not only would I be going for my own goodbyes but to be there for whoever is left behind. If my DH were in that situation I would be telling him to go even if that meant that a whole heap of stress then landed on me.

I hope you can work out whatever is best for you and your family.

Deepest sympathy, it's a horrible time especially when there is the distance to consider.

Only you know what is right for you - if you feel you can say your farewells in your own way, over here, then stay. For many people though - and I'm one - I have to be there, and say my farewells in their resting place.
But there is the third option - don't go now, but go and say your farewells to him later, in his home, but at a better time for you and Jules.

I lost one of the dearest people in my life just before I emigrated, I couldn't get to Tas for the funeral, but I waited, then went and said a private farewell later. Meant as much to me, and I'm sure it meant as much to him.

Whatever you decide, be at peace with your decision

Hugs
Polly

I can't add anything extra Chris to that which has already been said. Thinking of you and yours and sending big hugs to you.

Carole x

My deepest condolances Chris.

xHx

Wishing you all the happiness in the world chris, remember that you dad is with you every day in your heart and is very proud of you!