Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Feb 8th 2018, 8:23 pm
#16
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Nope, nobody ever made me feel guilty, certainly didn’t struggle raising the kids - but we just knuckled down and did what we had to, never asked anything of anyone else. I would say I was selfish - we did what suited us. If you don’t go with that “selfish” attitude and you wallow around in how other people are thinking/feeling about your actions then you go under. It’s unfortunate that selfishness has negative connotations when, in migration, it’s a survival strategy.
Feb 8th 2018, 8:41 pm
#17
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
I couldn't think of anything worse than having people around when my husband and I were getting to know our newborn children. My partner has 7 grandchildren and the "girls" (they're in fact grown women) managed just fine with their partners and themselves during the births and the first few weeks.
Feb 9th 2018, 3:37 am
#18
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Feb 9th 2018, 3:37 am
#19
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
They do? I couldn't think of anything worse than having people around when my husband and I were getting to know our newborn children. My partner has 7 grandchildren and the "girls" (they're in fact grown women) managed just fine with their partners and themselves during the births and the first few weeks.
I couldn't think of anything worse than having people around when my husband and I were getting to know our newborn children. My partner has 7 grandchildren and the "girls" (they're in fact grown women) managed just fine with their partners and themselves during the births and the first few weeks.
Feb 9th 2018, 4:54 am
#21
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
They do? I couldn't think of anything worse than having people around when my husband and I were getting to know our newborn children. My partner has 7 grandchildren and the "girls" (they're in fact grown women) managed just fine with their partners and themselves during the births and the first few weeks.
I couldn't think of anything worse than having people around when my husband and I were getting to know our newborn children. My partner has 7 grandchildren and the "girls" (they're in fact grown women) managed just fine with their partners and themselves during the births and the first few weeks.
Feb 13th 2018, 7:22 pm
#22
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Yes they would be nearby in Melbourne and his mum would be a lot of help I'm sure. I'm just obviously not as close with her as with my parents, and my family is tighter knit in general. It would bring me a lot of joy to have them share the experience with me, but at the same time it's the only thing keeping me here at the moment, and I'm not sure it's enough.
Feb 13th 2018, 7:26 pm
#24
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Well maybe a move to another part of the UK would make sense, where it's more laid back. Somewhere close to the beach etc. Also it seems that you are far closer to family than your husband, so will want to see them every year. If you look at the finances and costs for you, or let's say your parents to travel to Australia every year, you could use that money and buy a holiday pad in the sun with the whole family. That way you also have your weather point sorted and have an investment (finances)
. Some people can just move away and aren't bothered if they don't see their family but if you are already questioning it, it's only going to get worse.
. Some people can just move away and aren't bothered if they don't see their family but if you are already questioning it, it's only going to get worse.
Feb 13th 2018, 7:29 pm
#25
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
A word of warning about bringing kids into a relationship if there is any likelihood of conflict about where you go/settle. Australia will not let kids leave if the other parent says they may not, as many have found to their cost. So be certain that you want to live in Australia and that you trust your OH to move again if you want to return (although minds can change!) otherwise you could find yourself stuck there when you don’t want to be.
Feb 13th 2018, 7:32 pm
#26
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
When it comes to the birth and initial few weeks all girls want their mums with them.
Going forward you do have to be self reliant and enjoy the opportunity grandparents offer - post kids it no longer you its all about them.
I prefer small doses rather than permanent if that makes sense.
The opportunity of dual citizenship etc should be considered. Life is not for just one country, and both countries have different offerings for different stages in life.
Don't just compare UK/London, UK does offer a lot of different options it self.
For all the outdoor talk the heat and sun made us hide indoors a lot more than we would of compared to the UK.
Going forward you do have to be self reliant and enjoy the opportunity grandparents offer - post kids it no longer you its all about them.
I prefer small doses rather than permanent if that makes sense.
The opportunity of dual citizenship etc should be considered. Life is not for just one country, and both countries have different offerings for different stages in life.
Don't just compare UK/London, UK does offer a lot of different options it self.
For all the outdoor talk the heat and sun made us hide indoors a lot more than we would of compared to the UK.
I think your comment about 'Life is not for just one country' hit the nail on the head for us at the moment. We can't quite commit to one location, so we're just going to follow our hearts at each stage of life.
Feb 13th 2018, 10:55 pm
#27
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Yes they would be nearby in Melbourne and his mum would be a lot of help I'm sure. I'm just obviously not as close with her as with my parents, and my family is tighter knit in general. It would bring me a lot of joy to have them share the experience with me, but at the same time it's the only thing keeping me here at the moment, and I'm not sure it's enough.
What does your husband want to do? Doesn't he get a say in where the two (or more) of you live?
Feb 14th 2018, 7:39 am
#28
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
Oh I know, it's just a very different situation that's hard to explain
His dad isn't really in the picture and his mum isn't very involved either whereas my family are super close, even to my husband. But yes his mum would love us to have kids. And I'm really lucky that he doesn't mind which side of the earth we're on. He grew up in a few countries as a child so it's not such a big deal to him. He just wants us to be happy. It is me that is having trouble getting my head around where I want to be.
Feb 16th 2018, 4:41 am
#29
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
If you’re close to your family, don’t go. Simples!
Mar 6th 2018, 8:22 pm
#30
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Re: Starting a family when abroad - advice?
A minimum of 5 years in Melbourne eh? You’ll find that after 5 years, with kids, mothers’ groups, outdoor lifestyle, career/work established etc you probably will not want to start all over again back in the UK.
5 years of pure hard work to do it all over again in London is a hard decision to make if you feel yourself becoming established in Melbourne and you feel satisfied with what you’ve achieved.
5 years of pure hard work to do it all over again in London is a hard decision to make if you feel yourself becoming established in Melbourne and you feel satisfied with what you’ve achieved.