Spotty Botty
Nov 13th 2007, 8:30 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Spotty Botty
I am absolutely furious - with my body.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
Nov 13th 2007, 8:37 am
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Essex
Posts: 2,543
Re: Spotty Botty
I am absolutely furious - with my body.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
My thoughts are with you.
Nov 13th 2007, 8:49 am
#3
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 569
Re: Spotty Botty
I am absolutely furious - with my body.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
As I was getting changed last night I noticed that I had three spots on my bottom, probably from sitting down at my desk and having to wear trousers or skirt with tights - with it being winter an all.
Where the **** did they come from? Why does your arse have to get spots?
I went running into the other room where Mr PP was trying to quietly watch TV, I say quietly because the peace was shattered as I barged in and stuffed my botty in front of his face and demanded that he check the spots. The poor guy was bobbing about trying to avoid my fat total eclipse of an arse to try and watch sport.
'Oh just give it a scrub and it will be fine' He said absent mindedly.
Scrub my arse!!! (literally)
Anyway I scrubbed and scrubbed with something antibacterial, until my botty looked as though it had been spanked and figured that if this is the winter condition caused by sitting, trousers, tights (I hate stockings and hold ups) then sod it, I shall wear a long skirt with no tights at all.
And if someone could design a chair so my bottom could hang under it to allow air and circulation then could they please do it right now.
It is disgusting!!!!!! I mean, I even wear cotton undies to allow the mackerel to breathe and I don't deserve spots.
Spotty bum, I feel sick and cannot stand to look at it, I might actually pretend it isn't mine.
Please someone tell me that I am not alone and that perhaps another female has the odd spot on her 'full moon'.
In the meantime I shall keep counting to make sure it stays at three spots, because any more and I could play 'join the dots'.
God it's hideous.
Just give em a good squeeze
or perhaps not, you don't want an arse like a pizza 
Nov 13th 2007, 9:43 am
#4
saoirse
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 6,248
Re: Spotty Botty
The missus gets plukes on her arse sometimes.I find a light going over with a belt-sander brings it up a treat. 
Nov 13th 2007, 9:45 am
#5
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Nov 13th 2007, 9:55 am
#7
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Spotty Botty
Stop laughing at my predicament.
I shall buy some sandpaper today and scrape them off.
I shall buy some sandpaper today and scrape them off.
Nov 13th 2007, 10:00 am
#8
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,027
Re: Spotty Botty
Think yourself lucky - not only is my botty sometimes spotty it is also hairy and has to be waxed on a regular basis!!!
Nov 13th 2007, 10:31 am
#9
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Spotty Botty
I know it is because I have a sitting down job, so today I have taken drastic action and am making as many trips as I can up and down the stairs and I might even walk up the 7 flights later. My asthma is not liking it though and Im a bit chesty.
But a girl has to do whatever it takes to rid the spots of the bot.
Nov 13th 2007, 11:05 am
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Sunshine Coast, Queensland.
Posts: 2,141
Re: Spotty Botty
Spotty botty syndrome eh???? i hear the male liquid gets rid of them......???
Nov 13th 2007, 11:39 am
#11
Im a woomaaan
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978
Re: Spotty Botty
Exfoliate Sam and stick on some sudocream (just don`t use that brillo pad you have sitting next to your sink - or if you do do bin it afterwards - please!!!
)
)
Nov 13th 2007, 11:49 am
#12
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: Spotty Botty
At least you don't have to look at yourself!
Nov 13th 2007, 12:17 pm
#13
South Yarra Sheila
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,078
Re: Spotty Botty
Hairy???? no way!
I know it is because I have a sitting down job, so today I have taken drastic action and am making as many trips as I can up and down the stairs and I might even walk up the 7 flights later. My asthma is not liking it though and Im a bit chesty.
But a girl has to do whatever it takes to rid the spots of the bot.
I know it is because I have a sitting down job, so today I have taken drastic action and am making as many trips as I can up and down the stairs and I might even walk up the 7 flights later. My asthma is not liking it though and Im a bit chesty.
But a girl has to do whatever it takes to rid the spots of the bot.
Nov 13th 2007, 12:29 pm
#14
Banned
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: here there,fluck knows where?
Posts: 7,444
Re: Spotty Botty
i was wondering....
do you have any pictures..
do you have any pictures..
Nov 13th 2007, 12:37 pm
#15
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Mount Tamborine
Posts: 17,426
Re: Spotty Botty