Who's car is it, Sue?

If it's yours, I suggest you remove the keys. He obviously doesn't care about his life or anyone else's right now.

If it's his car and you're paying for it, or the insurance, I suggest you cancel it.
Sure, he might be able to drive, but he's a danger to himself and others. If he wants to drive, he'll have to work for it.
I had to have a job to pay for my petrol and insurance...
Let him get the bus if he's saying that to you. He's just challenging you. At least he won't kill some poor kid whilst he's on the bus, will he?

It's interesting you let him drive you around like this. If my kid, or in fact anyone, drove me around like that, I'd ask them to stop and let me out. If it was my child, I'd remove the keys from them immediately. No freakin way my kid would risk my life like that.

I lost my dear and most gorgeous friend Andrew when I was 17. He thought he was invincible too. He was in his car, took a corner too sharply and lost control. A taxi slammed into him and after 4 hours of trying to cut him out of the car, they took him to hospital where he died from massive injuries. I still have the article from the paper reporting the accident from 21 years ago.

He was the most gorgeous kid. His mum and dad were on a holiday whilst he died. No-one knew where they were and couldn't contact them so they arrived home to find a police car sitting in their driveway waiting for them.

I can't think of anything more hideous.

It's that first year when you are statistically very likely to have an accident. The stats are there for a reason.

I smashed my car within 3 months.

It's like other stuff, you have to fill the bag with experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Except hopefully don't kill anyone whilst you do it.

I had my first crash in April this year. It's quite possible not to crash your car just because you are new.

Anyway, don't new drivers in Aus have to go a certain speed?

Just report them to the police. That'll curtail them.

Don't let him drive. Simple as. He's obviously not mature enough.

So you don't let him drive and he doesn't get his hours. If he can't even pretend to accept the danger then he doesn't get the keys. I don't think it's too strong to take him to the nearest trauma centre and talk to the patients. Let him drive you there and back and see if there's any difference in attitude on the way back.

God PP, what a heart-wrenching story, hope a good recovery was made.

Whilst it's tempting to try to make your son learn his lesson by cancelling his insurance, if he's that determined he'll still drive. Then if he hits someone, presumably they will have no recompense against him/insurers?

Yes definately take his keys off him if it's your car, no question about it. Tell him that a car is, in effect a loaded weapon and everytime he drives it he has the potential to kill or seriously maim. Tell him how much he is seriously worrying you and that everytime he goes out, you are left feeling so worried and ask him if he thinks that is fair to you. Unfortunately experience and time are the only things that can make you a good driver and good drivers drive appropriately. Refuse to go in the car with him saying that he is a rubbish driver at the moment (use of words aimed personally at the standard of his driver I think would be effective).

If he's old enough to drive then the law considers him to be a man and to drive like a man and not a boy with a car. Sounds like he needs to grow up.

Good luck, I don't envy you.

hi don't know if you have heard of the PARTY program that runs in perth its where they take teenagers around the hospital they get to meet people who have had car accidents ect they get to see some people who have really serious injures and speak to there families, its ment to try and discourage this sort of behavior, ive seen upper school groups go round & most of them cry some of them faint so think the message dose hit home! maybe you could bribe him that youll take him driving if he goes hope this helps

Thanks everyone for your advice,and thanks PP for pics i will show him,i hope your hubby is ok now,it must of been a hard time for you both,thanks for taking the time to reply,and the best of luck with everything.

I didnt give much detail in my first post about our son,,he's 21 but acts like 10,he has his own car so im definalty not letting him drive mine.lol..
He got the bus today,and hes still sulking so he can walk past his car every morning to get the dam bus until he re-thinks.He's being stubbon but hes the one losing out.
So the deal is until he can say he will drive safely we wont take him out.
If he does go and out and break the deal ,then im seriously considering going to a hospital..

Dam kids even at 21 they do your head in....lol
But now i know everyone thinks the same as we do ,and we're not being over protective im more determined to stick my guns...lol..

Cheers everyone

Sue I would like to tell you that Mr PP has recovered well but he is still off work, still not earning, only just getting bits of his memory back.

And Im afraid he has some internal damage, he has damaged the right phrenic nerve (controls breathing I think), so due to this, his diaphragm hasnt gone back to shape and is pushing up into his right lung, he has lost over a third of his lung capacity. His ribs havent joined and he has these strange breathing patterns which are worse when he is asleep. I lie in bed at night and hold his hand to make sure he is OK and because I still cant believe he is still here, he screams in his sleep but has no memory as to why.

He has gone from a strapping 6 foot bloke to someone looking somewhat more frail and vulnerable.

He has the orthopaedic specialist tomorrow, he has been referrered to the surgeons to see if he needs surgery on his adrenal gland and kidney.

The mental effects havent even started yet - he has lost a huge chunk of his memory, is prone to mood swings due to some hormonal imbalances and its like getting to know a new person.

We are so far away from normality I cannot believe it. I take each day as it comes, I have my fingers crossed we are on a double wage by November 15 and I am trying to look for a second job to keep our house - at least.

If your son wont listen to you, write it down in a letter, record your message with your true fears and feelings and put it on a DVD for him to watch on his own.

Car crashes happened to other people, or so I thought but on July 18th at 7.30pm, we became one of those statistics and nothing in the world prepares you for 'that phone call', nor will it prepare you for the longest walk ever - down the corridor of a hospital emergency department where you dont know what you will find or what to expect.

Sue, if you ever fancy a coffee - send me a PM and we can organise it. Mr PP would happily talk to your son about what it is like to be in a car crash, to be sat in a vehicle waiting for the fire brigade to cut you out and praying to God that your car doesnt catch fire with you in it. Mr PP is a down to earth bloke and may well be able to get the message across.

You never know...

Hi pp,i cant even imagine what your going through,its hard enough reading it let alone going through it,wish i knew what to say but i dont.
All i can say is lets hope every day he gets a little bit better and hopefully he will make a full recovery.
As for your house cant you get any help at all? what sort of work are you looking for?,i will keep my eyes open.
Thanks for the invite for coffee,im working full time at the moment but going to 4 days soon,then i will have a bit more time so maybe i could pop round then i would love to see you both and put a face to all these posts..lol..
Thanks again
sue

I think what Im getting at and the reason for me writing it on here is that when you posted about your son, it really affected me to the point I had to write it if it meant there was the slightest chance it may make him see sense.

We are getting by and appreciate everything now, we will be OK I am sure.

But I felt I had to post this if it could help your son avoid going through similar.

Mr PP said he hopes the photo gets the message across.

Hiya,thanks again for everything,I did show him the pic and told him what happened,,i think deep down it sunk in,hes been getting the bus the past couple of days to work,thought id just leave him to think about things,then last night i took him out for a drive,and he was so much better. This morning he drove to work,but havent found out yet how he did form hubby.
Even his girlfriend has told him she wont get in the car with him unless he drives carefully,so thats good too.I think we are getting there slowly..lol..

I wish you all the best of luck and hope everyday things get a little bit better for Mr pp ,

thanks again
sue

That's good to hear. As long as he is trying, the skills will come with experience, just remember he will be jerky and late or early with responses, he's only recently passed so he won't have all the skills and experiences of someone who has been driving for 10, 20 years.

As long he understands about the dangers and he is cautious but not too cautious as that can cause accidents as well! then he should get on fine.

Good point L.

I remember, as a teenage boy, my responses being jerky and early . . .

and I hope that's got better with experience