Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

My friend that I love so dearly (she's my sis in law and my best friend) has got a solid lump on her kidney... she's back in England... she is going for a CT scan in a couple of days.. the specialist has told her that he can't reassure her until he has the results.. :(

I don't know what to say to her or how to help her.. she already has herself dead and buried and the funeral done (think that is a shock reaction thing)..

The only thing I have said to her is to try and curtail the dire thoughts to a limited time and then focus on the future.. and for her to think of herself as an old lady.. but even as I say it to her, I feel so bloody sad and unsure...

She is only 36... she has a 2 year old girl , a 10 year old girl and a 15 year old teenager girl... she is married to my ex's brother and he is being great and very positive..

Anyone had a happy outcome from something like his?

Em x

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

A good friend of mine had a tumour on her kidney (she drank gallons of diet coke over the years and that is thought to lead to kidney tumours). She had the kidney removed and is still going strong 10 years later. It is possible to live with just one kidney. I hope your friend has a really good outcome as well.

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

My 67 year old FIL had a kidney removed 5 years ago and is going strong too. Thinking of you and your friend .

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Just to add to the one kidney stories, my mother had a kidney removed when she was about 16. She's now 56 and has lived a great live without any further kidney issues. So she's lived without a kidney for 40 years now and had no major problems.

Hope your friend gets good news soon.

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Thank you all... :wub:

:unsure:

Can't cry as I don't want to... :rolleyes:

The guilt is killing me.. I am way too far away...

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Hi I don't know too much about kidneys but just wanted to wish your SIL/best friend a good outcome and hope all goes well for her.Don't beat yourself up about not being there Emelems,be kind to yourself.

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Its one of those things you always feel you can deal with till it happens. sister, my dad, and my closest friend back home have all been sick with various serious issues since I came out here, and the temptation to drop everything and go has always been really strong. Its natural to feel it, and the guilt at not being there goes alongside unfortunately.
Hugs Ems, here's wishing you the strength to be a good support for her, even if its from a distance :wub:

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Hope your friend gets better soon and it is nothing serious. We always tend to think of the worst (like I recently did) and more often than not things don't turn out to be that bad.

Take care xx

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Nothing you can do but hope,in reality we can all do flook all,my Buddhist prayers are with her x

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Thinking about her and you Ems...... Be positive. xxx

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Like others have said, you can live with one kidney without any problems.

Fingers crossed it doesn't even come to that.

I know what you mean though, I have never felt a minutes homesickness, apart from when my closest friend had her 17yo daughter in hospital, and hell did I want to be able to be there with her. Phone calls and msn just don't do the same as being able to sit down and give someone a bloody great hug.

Hope thing are ok xxxxxxxxx

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Even though you are far are away you can still support her.She knows that you are thinking of her.Hope all goes well.Im sure it will.:fingerscrossed:

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Please be positive. Kidneys can be removed. And replaced.

My mother has had cervical cancer and breast cancer; my father-in-law has had lung cancer (never smoked) and bowel cancer. They recovered, are now both in their 70s and fitter than any of us!

Cancer isn't always the death sentence it once was.

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Hugs Em, keeping you both in our prayers! x :wub:

Re: Sadness, helplessness and guilt...
 

Thinking of you and your SIL. She is bound to worry, just try to be as positive as possible when you chat to her.

Hope you all get the good news you want:fingerscrossed: