Hi Margaret & My Alias

Hope you manage to sort out your relationship difficulties. I agree with others, and if its not Australia related, chances are with the stress/change of something else in your lives problems may have occured anyway. Compromise, spending quality time together, and appreciating each others feelings bodes well for securing your future together. However, it really does depend want people want deep down inside, sometimes individuals find this difficult to admit to themselves never mind their partner...
sending you both k. x Good luck

The way things are right now, OH is out at work all day & getting in late - I sit at home feeling as if I'm waiting for my life to start.

When we get to Oz, I'm sure I'll be doing lots of things without him, but we have a background of 2 years long-distance relationship, so we both were pretty independent. I can't see him taking part in my activities (horse-riding, surfing & rowing) much as I'm not interested in his (historical vehicles, geeking on computers & cycling)

I think it's about striking a balance, to be honest. Both of you should hopefully be secure enough in your relationships NOT to need to be in each other's pockets all the time, although shared interests are vital to help you keep sight of what it is you are trying to achieve together. Despite the fact we have our differences, we do share a heck of a lot.

I find myself agreeing with the poster who also referred to some relationship stresses that would be the same wherever you are: Stroppy kids, overwork, bills.... those things are the same the world over & no, you can't blame Australia for that, although it might be fair to say that being somewhere unfamiliar makes them harder to deal with.

Wishing you all the best

seems like you have had a lot of very good advice on here, obviously only you know whether you have drifted too far apart to ever agree about anything but If you are this concerned try getting some relationship counselling.

You can enjoy very different hobbies and still make time to spend together It is when you do not make time to be together at all that a relationship crumbles, I have friends who live parallel lives to their husbands neither communicating with each other except for daily necessities and their children this is so sad.
Try to make a date each week to go out together just you two and talk as though you have just met get to know each others dreams and aspirations again as though it is a first date.

Good luck

ehhhhhhhhh apologies, this was meant for another thread

I get your differences - sounds like me and hubby. He likes particpating in sports, running, squash, badminton, tennis, beach life etc etc! I like computers and reading. We both like socialising but have to find a balance of the occasions for both! The Sunday morning Coffee at the beach is so much nicer than a whinge over whose turn it is to wash the kitchen floor - we come back and do it later!

Anyway I bought a Kayak a year ago and loved it through the summer - I bought him a blow up boat and engine and the kids and him love that. We both started dancing together a few months ago and though will never be Fred and Ginger we are having a ball spending time together.

I have gone back to tavel with my work and although this puts pressure on other areas we make sure we tackle the issues together. Especially the family ones - we are the joint team decision makers and the children are highly valued team members

I have no solutions but know that the occasions I want to drop it all and leave on the next flight have decreased - in fact hubby has actually managed for the first time in years to come and join me for the odd weekend when working away. We have grabbed back a little of what made life for us very special and we intend to keep doing that.

We dropped the excuses (as a previous poster said - we were making loads of them) and found positives for us to do and commit to. Not everything is perfect yet but then that would not be real life.

Viva La Difference!

Good post, sandra. I think you're absolutely right about the excuses we make. I think for everyone who has this sort of relationship difficulty, you've also got nothing to lose at the end of the day to drop the excuses and try to find a way to still stay together.

The alternative, though you think about it, is far more difficult than you really imagine and people change like you'd never think.

To the OP please explore all your options with a good counsellor that you both really like and trust. You have nothing to lose when things are bad, and I truly believe that if you have respect for each other and trust is still there, it's possible to re-negotiate something different for you both, as long as you both want to do that.
But you only find that out by really being honest and communicating with each other. Nothing to lose.
x

Brilliant post.

Mr PP and I bought the book of vouchers/discounts 'Entertainment Guide' and have already used it to get discounts in our favourite restaurants and have earmarked several trips to do together in the summer.

He wants to do the dive with dolphins tour - I cant dive so Ill just get a life jacket and float around a bit.

We plan to do the camel trekking and also get away and book some of the discounted hotels on offer in the book.

It inspires us to do these things together as we get it discounted and keeps us busy.