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-   -   pissed off with this site (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/pissed-off-site-668312/)

Bermudashorts May 20th 2010 7:34 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 8579158)
Trust me, I know exactly what you're saying. :) I've been reduced to tears by some of the abuse I've receieved in there while trying to help certain posters, mainly of a similar background to those who sadly were brow-beating you last night. Sue has now posted an excellent sticky thread in there to which I feel many posters will be directed!! I feel the Immigration forum is a lot poorer these days as many people have ceased to offer advice in ther and its all down to the personal abuse slung at us by a minority of members.

Anyone sending abusive pms can be banned if those pms are forwarded to one of us......;)

Pollyanna, I knew you would understand, because I have observed that the reaction I receive pales into insignificance versus the abuse the "moderators" receive for even the mildest comment.

I have spent quite a few hours this afternoon in tears and I know it is completely stupid to be reduced to tears by strangers on an internet forum and that is why I think I have to leave that forum.

I hate, I really hate, to draw conclusions based upon background and I have bent over backwards to help people on BE regardless of what country they come from, but I cannot help but notice that the aggresion comes from one particular geographical area. It is such a shame.

Bermudashorts May 20th 2010 7:48 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Alfresco (Post 8579195)
See below.



I don't know why you do either, Bermuda, TBH. You've been magnanimous for ages, offering good advice to all on the Immi forum, as have the MODS who have the thankless task of trying to control it all. I take my hat off to you girls. :thumbup:

I only pop in every now and again, and not much has changed for the better. :thumbdown:

Thank you Alfresco, you are very kind.

Truth is I am quite good at reading rules and regulations in general as that is what my job involves (very sad I know) and I am happy to help people that are not as comfortable with these things as I am. I would even go so far as to say I enjoy it, I don't know why but I feel really pleased if I think I have helped somebody else. But I don't enjoy it enough to carry on suffering the abuse.

I am disappointed that people who try to help are driven away from the immi forum, I note that none of the agents post in there much any more either, it is a really horrible place sometimes.

iamthecreaturefromuranus May 20th 2010 8:31 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8578984)
Do you know what I am pissed off with this site too. Well to be precise I am pissed off with the immigration forum.

I don't know why I do it but I spend waaay to much of my time in the immigration forum, answering queries and researching things if I don't know the answer. But all to often all I get in return is abuse, in personal message and on the forum in public and I am sorry to say, but mainly from people from the subcontinent. Despite the fact that a lot of my time is spent trying to help the non-UK applicants that flood that particular part of the forum these days.

I know the moderators face even more abuse than I do over there. It is just not worth it is it. :(


Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 8579158)
Trust me, I know exactly what you're saying. :) I've been reduced to tears by some of the abuse I've receieved in there while trying to help certain posters, mainly of a similar background to those who sadly were brow-beating you last night. Sue has now posted an excellent sticky thread in there to which I feel many posters will be directed!! I feel the Immigration forum is a lot poorer these days as many people have ceased to offer advice in ther and its all down to the personal abuse slung at us by a minority of members.

Anyone sending abusive pms can be banned if those pms are forwarded to one of us......;)

Change your picture and gender symbol to that of a man. The abuse will stop... seriously.

Pollyana May 20th 2010 8:40 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8579241)
Thank you Alfresco, you are very kind.

Truth is I am quite good at reading rules and regulations in general as that is what my job involves (very sad I know) and I am happy to help people that are not as comfortable with these things as I am. I would even go so far as to say I enjoy it, I don't know why but I feel really pleased if I think I have helped somebody else. But I don't enjoy it enough to carry on suffering the abuse.

I am disappointed that people who try to help are driven away from the immi forum, I note that none of the agents post in there much any more either, it is a really horrible place sometimes.

You're right, and its so sad. The Immi forum is really a shadow of the useful place it once was, and I can quite undersand why the agents largely stay away. When they do come in to post useful stuff they just get a pile of requests for free personal consultations :rolleyes:
I've stopped posting in there so many times, only going back after repeated pleas from some lovely people :) , but most of what I end up putting in there now is either rebukes and reprimands, or a variation on the theme of "further processing means further processing" :eek:

Pollyana May 20th 2010 8:40 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 8579324)
Change your picture and gender symbol to that of a man. The abuse will stop... seriously.

You are probably right, but I refuse to hide behind a mask just because a bunch of pillocks don't like the fact that they are getting their replies from a female :lol:

iamthecreaturefromuranus May 20th 2010 8:48 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 8579342)
You are probably right, but I refuse to hide behind a mask just because a bunch of pillocks don't like the fact that they are getting their replies from a female :lol:

Send them a link to here-------->

http://www.alloexpat.com/pakistan_expat_forum/ or here
http://www.alloexpat.com/india_expat_forum/


I've said it in the past, and the sub-cont mob agreed with me.... If they want to post here, set them up their own subforum and leave them to it. No moderation needed, that way they can spend all day insulting one another and trying to establish a new caste system.

Pollyana May 20th 2010 8:52 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 8579365)
Send them a link to here-------->

http://www.alloexpat.com/pakistan_expat_forum/ or here
http://www.alloexpat.com/india_expat_forum/


I've said it in the past, and the sub-cont mob agreed with me.... If they want to post here, set them up their own subforum and leave them to it. No moderation needed, that way they can spend all day insulting one another and trying to establish a new caste system.

Like the links - many thanks ;)

meauxna May 20th 2010 9:23 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8579224)
Pollyanna, I knew you would understand, because I have observed that the reaction I receive pales into insignificance versus the abuse the "moderators" receive for even the mildest comment.

I have spent quite a few hours this afternoon in tears and I know it is completely stupid to be reduced to tears by strangers on an internet forum and that is why I think I have to leave that forum.

I hate, I really hate, to draw conclusions based upon background and I have bent over backwards to help people on BE regardless of what country they come from, but I cannot help but notice that the aggresion comes from one particular geographical area. It is such a shame.

Shorts, FWIW, I was furious to read that thread and sorry I couldn't say what I wanted at the time.
I left another forum for the same reason (US immigration).

And, I don't believe it's gender based because the women (on that forum.. actually 2!) as well as the men respond the same way AND they were happy to heap that on male as well as female repliers.


You know you're not rude. I know you're not rude. :wub:

PS: Poll, I posted some other suggestions in the other forum as well.

Sally Simpson May 20th 2010 10:45 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8578984)
Do you know what I am pissed off with this site too. Well to be precise I am pissed off with the immigration forum.

I don't know why I do it but I spend waaay to much of my time in the immigration forum, answering queries and researching things if I don't know the answer. But all to often all I get in return is abuse, in personal message and on the forum in public and I am sorry to say, but mainly from people from the subcontinent. Despite the fact that a lot of my time is spent trying to help the non-UK applicants that flood that particular part of the forum these days.

I know the moderators face even more abuse than I do over there. It is just not worth it is it. :(

That is really very sad & I am sorry that you feel that way.
I only go in there to congratulate people on visa grants as I feel I don't know enough to post good advice but all the folks that do, give a great service. I know the immi forum was a huge benefit to me when we were doing the appplications.
If people are being abusive, they need to be banned because that behaviour is unacceptable & it ruins everything for everyone else.
Well done to all of you that continue to offer advice on the immi forum....gold medals all round I reckon!:thumbsup:

oz_dreamz09 May 20th 2010 11:41 am

Re: pissed off with this site
 
Hi @bermudashorts,

It is sad to see you declare that you quit posting on the AU immigration forum. I have always felt thankful the way you respond in the forum, I was just checking previous posts and the replies you gave, and would like to express my sincere gratitude to you and a few like you who provide the best advice...This is what makes BE diffrent and the best.

I am not sure how much of a difference I would make but would like to request you to be the same as you used to.. and please ignore those negative minded people who send abuses.. I have a request to the moderators to ban those people who send these abuses.

Berumudashorts, Thanks a lot once again :)

Rete May 20th 2010 12:53 pm

Re: pissed off with this site
 
Bermuda

Just poking my two cents into the fray. You're not rude nor ignorant. After nearly 13 years doing US marriage-based immigration I am fully aware of how the rudeness and attitude of others can make you feel as if you are doing nothing but wasting your time in trying to help others. Don't allow those of that ilk to do an emotional number on you. They are not worth it.

Take a break and leave the AU Immigration forum and let them have at it. If they were so bloody smart, then they would not be here now would they.

The site rules have been posted and it serves as a warning to those that don't abide by them. A loss of privileges for a set period or a lifetime ban or learning that they will have to live within the code of this forum and adhere to politeness and diplomacy if they wish to remain. It is now up to them.

Have a glass of wine and kick back. You deserve to pamper yourself.

Dreamy May 20th 2010 1:09 pm

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8578984)
Do you know what I am pissed off with this site too. Well to be precise I am pissed off with the immigration forum.

I don't know why I do it but I spend waaay to much of my time in the immigration forum, answering queries and researching things if I don't know the answer. But all to often all I get in return is abuse, in personal message and on the forum in public and I am sorry to say, but mainly from people from the subcontinent. Despite the fact that a lot of my time is spent trying to help the non-UK applicants that flood that particular part of the forum these days.

I know the moderators face even more abuse than I do over there. It is just not worth it is it. :(

Well, I'm always impressed with your patience and helpfulness in the Immi forum (I'm there a lot at the moment while we wait for our ENS visa to come through)

lonndongeek May 20th 2010 1:59 pm

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 8579365)
Send them a link to here-------->

http://www.alloexpat.com/pakistan_expat_forum/ or here
http://www.alloexpat.com/india_expat_forum/


I've said it in the past, and the sub-cont mob agreed with me.... If they want to post here, set them up their own subforum and leave them to it. No moderation needed, that way they can spend all day insulting one another and trying to establish a new caste system.

:thumbsup:

Bermudashorts May 20th 2010 3:35 pm

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus (Post 8579324)
Change your picture and gender symbol to that of a man. The abuse will stop... seriously.

You never know there could be something in that. :rolleyes:

Strange thing is that the same people that dole out all this grief, actually expect that you shouldn't mind and will continue to provide this "service" to them no matter what.

I remember a few months ago, Pollyanna was target practice for some reason and after pages of vitriol one of the perpetrators said but please carry on posting here and helping us. :blink:

iamthecreaturefromuranus May 20th 2010 4:34 pm

Re: pissed off with this site
 

Originally Posted by Bermudashorts (Post 8580057)
You never know there could be something in that. :rolleyes:

Strange thing is that the same people that dole out all this grief, actually expect that you shouldn't mind and will continue to provide this "service" to them no matter what.

I remember a few months ago, Pollyanna was target practice for some reason and after pages of vitriol one of the perpetrators said but please carry on posting here and helping us. :blink:

My response would have been two words... the second of which would have been "off"


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