Old age - are you scared?
Feb 16th 2006, 8:20 am
#166
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
Yep, this is what I shall aspire to, and from tomorrow I shall start practice?
Feb 16th 2006, 9:11 am
#167
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Old age - are you scared?
When Im old I shall wet my knicks
Throw my food and dribble down my tits
Ill shit my pants and throw faeces on the floor
Eat my dinner and scream for more
I shall yell and cry and call for 'keith'
Clank my food with my loose false teeth
Ill chew my meat and leave it on my dish
Sit next to Soapy and listen to his pish
When Im old my bum will sag
And somewhat resemble a carrier bag
My titties will hang like spaniel ears
My hair will be permed like the other old dears
I shall have my posse of elderly girls
Who have their hair in tight purple curls
We will shout and swear if we are told off
And piss our pants every time we cough.
Throw my food and dribble down my tits
Ill shit my pants and throw faeces on the floor
Eat my dinner and scream for more
I shall yell and cry and call for 'keith'
Clank my food with my loose false teeth
Ill chew my meat and leave it on my dish
Sit next to Soapy and listen to his pish
When Im old my bum will sag
And somewhat resemble a carrier bag
My titties will hang like spaniel ears
My hair will be permed like the other old dears
I shall have my posse of elderly girls
Who have their hair in tight purple curls
We will shout and swear if we are told off
And piss our pants every time we cough.
Feb 16th 2006, 9:31 am
#168
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
When Im old I shall wet my knicks
Throw my food and dribble down my tits
Ill shit my pants and throw faeces on the floor
Eat my dinner and scream for more
I shall yell and cry and call for 'keith'
Clank my food with my loose false teeth
Ill chew my meat and leave it on my dish
Sit next to Soapy and listen to his pish
When Im old my bum will sag
And somewhat resemble a carrier bag
My titties will hang like spaniel ears
My hair will be permed like the other old dears
I shall have my posse of elderly girls
Who have their hair in tight purple curls
We will shout and swear if we are told off
And piss our pants every time we cough.
Throw my food and dribble down my tits
Ill shit my pants and throw faeces on the floor
Eat my dinner and scream for more
I shall yell and cry and call for 'keith'
Clank my food with my loose false teeth
Ill chew my meat and leave it on my dish
Sit next to Soapy and listen to his pish
When Im old my bum will sag
And somewhat resemble a carrier bag
My titties will hang like spaniel ears
My hair will be permed like the other old dears
I shall have my posse of elderly girls
Who have their hair in tight purple curls
We will shout and swear if we are told off
And piss our pants every time we cough.
Feb 16th 2006, 9:33 am
#169
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
Oh sam, never mind princess, you are the queen of the prose
Your turn.....
Feb 16th 2006, 9:35 am
#170
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
Your turn.....
Feb 16th 2006, 9:50 am
#171
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
I wish but alas I have no imagination I think it is cos I am a boring old capricorn, sensible head on too much of the time.
OK I shall help you.
The BE Nursing home for gentle old folk
ub40 sat on her chair
And decided to shit in her underwear
The Nurse shouted out 'you dirty old git
Why did you fill your trousers up with shit?'
Gobbyjock and Princess sat by the bed
Flicking bits of sausage at one anothers head
Its ever such fun when you're old and mad
Wearing big white knickers with a Tena lady pad
'Nurse come quick I need to have a dump'
Shouted dear old Hutch as he squeezed in a crump
Margaret and Wendy sung a little song
Bixie dribbled coffee on his leopard print thong
Six oclock comes and its time for their tea
Fish and mashed potato then they had better have a pee
Tiredwithtwins shouts 'Now its time for bed'
Wendy starts to cry and pisses on Bixies head.
Last edited by Cheetah7; Feb 16th 2006 at 9:55 am.
Feb 16th 2006, 9:53 am
#172
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
OK I shall help you.
The BE Nursing home for gentle old folk
ub40 sat on his chair
And decided to shit in his underwear
The Nurse shouted out 'you dirty old git
Why did you fill your trousers up with shit?'
Gobbyjock and Princess sat by the bed
Flicking bits of sausage at one anothers head
Its ever such fun when you're old and mad
Wearing big white knickers with a Tena lady pad
'Nurse come quick I need to have a dump'
Shouted dear old Hutch as he squeezed in a crump
Margaret and Wendy sung a little song
Bixie dribbled coffee on his leopard print thong
Six oclock comes and its time for their tea
Fish and mashed potato then they had better have a pee
Tiredwithtwins shouts 'Now its time for bed'
Wendy starts to cry and pisses on Bixies head.
The BE Nursing home for gentle old folk
ub40 sat on his chair
And decided to shit in his underwear
The Nurse shouted out 'you dirty old git
Why did you fill your trousers up with shit?'
Gobbyjock and Princess sat by the bed
Flicking bits of sausage at one anothers head
Its ever such fun when you're old and mad
Wearing big white knickers with a Tena lady pad
'Nurse come quick I need to have a dump'
Shouted dear old Hutch as he squeezed in a crump
Margaret and Wendy sung a little song
Bixie dribbled coffee on his leopard print thong
Six oclock comes and its time for their tea
Fish and mashed potato then they had better have a pee
Tiredwithtwins shouts 'Now its time for bed'
Wendy starts to cry and pisses on Bixies head.
PP I appreciate the though, but I really am a girl, there is a pic of me somewhere stood in front of Tony's house with hubby, and I am definately in a skirt
Feb 16th 2006, 9:55 am
#173
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
PP I appreciate the though, but I really am a girl, there is a pic of me somewhere stood in front of Tony's house with hubby, and I am definately in a skirt
Oh well, I shall change it right away.
But you can still throw poo around like the rest of us.
Feb 16th 2006, 9:55 am
#174
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
I am definately in a skirt
That means nothing when you are old and senile
Feb 16th 2006, 9:56 am
#175
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by sme
That means nothing when you are old and senile
Feb 16th 2006, 9:58 am
#176
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
No but if you pee yourself you only need change the knicks eh?
Feb 16th 2006, 9:59 am
#177
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by sme
If you are wearing any
Feb 16th 2006, 10:01 am
#178
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by ub40fan
Ah good point, I could be like that woman on Little Britain
That is just too horrible
Mind you when my waters broke I could liken it to a pissing cow
Feb 16th 2006, 7:28 pm
#179
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,147
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by Professional Princess
OK I shall help you.
The BE Nursing home for gentle old folk
ub40 sat on her chair
And decided to shit in her underwear
The Nurse shouted out 'you dirty old git
Why did you fill your trousers up with shit?'
Gobbyjock and Princess sat by the bed
Flicking bits of sausage at one anothers head
Its ever such fun when you're old and mad
Wearing big white knickers with a Tena lady pad
'Nurse come quick I need to have a dump'
Shouted dear old Hutch as he squeezed in a crump
Margaret and Wendy sung a little song
Bixie dribbled coffee on his leopard print thong
Six oclock comes and its time for their tea
Fish and mashed potato then they had better have a pee
Tiredwithtwins shouts 'Now its time for bed'
Wendy starts to cry and pisses on Bixies head.
The BE Nursing home for gentle old folk
ub40 sat on her chair
And decided to shit in her underwear
The Nurse shouted out 'you dirty old git
Why did you fill your trousers up with shit?'
Gobbyjock and Princess sat by the bed
Flicking bits of sausage at one anothers head
Its ever such fun when you're old and mad
Wearing big white knickers with a Tena lady pad
'Nurse come quick I need to have a dump'
Shouted dear old Hutch as he squeezed in a crump
Margaret and Wendy sung a little song
Bixie dribbled coffee on his leopard print thong
Six oclock comes and its time for their tea
Fish and mashed potato then they had better have a pee
Tiredwithtwins shouts 'Now its time for bed'
Wendy starts to cry and pisses on Bixies head.
PMSL!!!!!!
oops
edited to say, that was my 5000th post!
Feb 16th 2006, 7:44 pm
#180
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Mount Tamborine
Posts: 17,426
Re: Old age - are you scared?
Originally Posted by soapy
WARNING
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
The ending of the poem pleases its readers when the woman says . . .
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . .
The ending of the poem pleases its readers when the woman says . . .
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
