Office dares
Apr 14th 2006, 1:44 pm
#1
Humble vaudevillian
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Set adrift on memory bliss
Posts: 690
Office dares
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,"Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and
pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected
sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,"dagnamit,
it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then
wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any
pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be niceto
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake
conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedlyand
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
mywitness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash
each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14 . Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough
embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll
see you tonight".
15. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the
nearest open window.
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,"Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and
pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected
sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,"dagnamit,
it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then
wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any
pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be niceto
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake
conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedlyand
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
mywitness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash
each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14 . Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough
embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll
see you tonight".
15. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the
nearest open window.
Apr 14th 2006, 2:15 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 732
Re: Office dares
Originally Posted by benny the ball
ONE-POINT DARES
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,"Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and
pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected
sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,"dagnamit,
it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then
wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any
pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be niceto
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake
conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedlyand
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
mywitness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash
each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14 . Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough
embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll
see you tonight".
15. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the
nearest open window.
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,"Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and
pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected
sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
THREE-POINT DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,"dagnamit,
it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then
wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any
pornography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be niceto
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake
conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedlyand
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
mywitness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash
each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14 . Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough
embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll
see you tonight".
15. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the
nearest open window.
Apr 14th 2006, 5:02 pm
#3
DAMN.........I'M GOOD
Joined: May 2005
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire for now
Posts: 718
Re: Office dares
Excellent Mon !!!
Dunno if I dare !!
Oh fuuk it !!! I think I'm gonna get sacked trying !!!!
Dunno if I dare !!
Oh fuuk it !!! I think I'm gonna get sacked trying !!!!
Apr 14th 2006, 6:30 pm
#4
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Office dares
I havent laughed this much in ages! (serious tears down my face)
Bearing in mind where Im working at the moment, (see blog), this would be very funny indeed.
Excellent thread.
Bearing in mind where Im working at the moment, (see blog), this would be very funny indeed.
Excellent thread.
